


This is Your Dream

by the_aerialist



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Feels, Injury, Lemon, M/M, Massage, NSFW, Post canon, Shower Sex, a lot of feels all the time, and super self conscious yuri, anyway, but he's getting better and i'm so proud of him, but imma do it, do people even tag stuff as lemon anymore, i dont know, minus a few things here and there, mostly canon compliant, super supportive victor, this tags list is getting so much bigger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-09 02:43:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 49,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8872636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_aerialist/pseuds/the_aerialist
Summary: Yuri battles a back injury throughout the rest of the competition season and Victor is there to support him every step of the way





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I can't write a five page paper to save my life but I can whip out eight pages of fanfic in a day.  
> Anyway, this chapter isn't super exciting yet but it's building up in more ways than one and I hope that you all enjoy it :)
> 
> If you're interested in my blog, my tumblr is @dont-stop-us-now

Yuri took a breath, attempting to calm his thoughts before the final jump of his program. “I wonder what Victor will think if I did a quadruple flip at the end.” He briefly wondered what would happen if the silver haired man would be angry, but there wasn’t enough time to truly worry about that before he prepared for takeoff. He pushed as hard as he could from his bottom leg, and pulled himself into the rotations so hard that he feared he’d over rotate for a second, but the ground came faster than he had anticipated and while he made enough rotations, he ended up falling. It wasn’t a major fall but the ice scraped his hands and his body twisted uncomfortably. He got up and began to skate again. He may have fallen, but it was still a success in his mind. 

He felt his body go through the motions of his performance, his thoughts racing, preoccupied by what he’d just done. For a brief moment, there was panic. What if he’d made the wrong decision and Victor would give up on him? But then there was confidence as he finished his program and turned towards his coach. “Is he crying? Is he angry? Is it both?” Yuri wondered aloud. He didn’t have time to question it any further before Victor began running towards the opening in the wall of the rink. Yuri skated over as quickly as he could, arms outstretched shouting, “Victor, I did great, right?” Victor paused only slightly before smiling and nodding his head. Yuri felt a rush of pride and then there was shock as he saw Victor jump forwards, wrapping his arms around the younger man and pressing their lips together. The motion was so fast and forceful that both men ended up on their backs on the ice. “I wanted to surprise you as much as you surprised me. This was the only thing I could think of.” Victor whispered.

Yuri grinned and felt the blood rush to his face. This was exactly what he’d been dreaming of for months now. Not only did he make Victor proud, but he’d surprised him to the point of romantic gestures. It was everything he could’ve asked for and more, and he could still feel the press of warm soft lips against his own. This wasn’t a feeling he’d soon forget. 

 

Later that night, Yuri was stretching in his hotel room, going over the events of the day. As he reached forward toward his toes, he felt a sharp pain in his lower back, but disregarded it considering he’d fallen on the ice rather hard more than once today. It would more than likely be gone by tomorrow morning. Besides, he had two days before training for the next event began and he intended to spend most of that time getting to know Victor better as a person rather than a coach. 

He sighed, thinking again of what had happened after his program. It had happened so quickly that he struggled to remember all of the details, but he remembered those aqua eyes looking into his own, and then lips crashing together, and then falling to the ice, oblivious to the surrounding world, but fully aware of the fact that the most beautiful man in the world was laying on top of him. Goosebumps rose on his arms as he shivered. It was going to take a long time to get used to that feeling, if ever. 

Just as he finished his pike stretch, he heard a knock on the door. “Yuri, may I come in?” Yuri hurried to stand, smoothing out his wrinkled t-shirt quickly and opened the door. There stood Victor, who had exchanged his suit and tie for a more casual pair of grey sweatpants and black long sleeve shirt. “I thought maybe we should talk about today, considering it was quite eventful for both of us?” He said as he grinned his heart shaped grin. Yuri could feel himself tensing up as he stepped back to allow the Russian into the room. “Yeah, of course” He managed to mumble before he closed the door behind the both of them.

Victor casually walked into the room and paused to look out the window before sitting at the desk and saying “I’m very proud of you Yuri. Your performance was phenomenal, truly.” Yuri nearly stepped further into the room, but froze and stuttered before saying “th-thanks, I guess.” Was Victor just here to talk about the program? He was Yuri’s coach after all, but it seemed that he always had another trick up his sleeve, so Yuri was hesitant to believe that this was all he was here for. “I didn’t decide to do the quad flip until the last moment. It just seemed… right.” It was an explanation for his actions, but it came out sounding like an apology and Victor tilted his head, trying to make sense of the tone.

“It was a good choice, strategically. Phichit had just completed a top-notch performance and you were attempting to beat it. Although, you’ve never tried it before, so it was a bit risky.” He paused, putting a finger to his lips and pulling his eyebrows closer together. It was the face he always made when he was thinking. “You didn’t just do it for the points though did you. There was something much more personal about that jump for the both of us, am I wrong?” 

“N-no… it was… um” Yuri stumbled over the words, trying to construct a good explanation that didn’t involve him confessing that there was nothing he wanted more in this world than the approval and support of his coach. The scene in the parking garage still lingered in the back of his mind and he didn’t want to become any more emotional than he already was. “I just wanted to perform as best I could,” he finally said with a sigh. It wasn’t a lie necessarily, but there was definitely a lot more to the story.

“Yuri, you always want to perform your best. Even during training, you put yourself into your skating, one hundred percent. If you didn’t, I wouldn’t be coaching you.” Victor chuckled, his silver hair falling over his eye as he looked to the floor for just a second. He stood up and walked over to the Japanese skater, and reached for the younger man’s hand. “If you ask me, you did that jump to impress me.” Victor heard the sharp intake of breath and realized that Yuri might not be capable of talking about this right now. It had been a long day, and emotionally, he had to be absolutely exhausted. “Hey, look at me,” Victor whispered as he gently pushed Yuri’s chin up until their eyes met. “We don’t have to do this right now. I know it’s been a long day for you. I just thought you might have an easier time talking about everything while it was still so fresh, that way you didn’t worry while you were trying to get some rest tonight.”

It was a thoughtful notion and Yuri could feel the words washing over him. Victor was right, he was tired. But at the same time this was something he wanted to talk about tonight. He took a breath and attempted to steady his shaking hands before saying, “No. We need to do this now. A-and you’re right. I wanted to impress you, but more than that I wanted to make it up to you. After earlier,” The words were rushed, almost sounding terrified but there was a confidence in them that Victor hadn’t heard from Yuri before. He felt a rush of pride as he realized that Yuri was finally beginning to trust him. 

Victor pulled his hands away from Yuri for just a second, only to replace them on the skater’s shoulders, using his shoulders to rub small circles into the tense muscles. “You have nothing to make up to me Yuri. It was my mistakes as a coach that led to you struggling so greatly today. You have been trying to tell me both with and without words that you struggle with anxiety and I have been brushing it off as though it was something we could easily fix. I understand now that it’s not, and I want you to know that nothing that has happened is your fault and I’m so proud of you for overcoming it and performing the way you did.”

Yuri’s eyes filled with tears. Of course it was his fault. His mental weakness had caused many problems before and today it had caused an outburst that led to a fight between himself and his coach. And yet, what Victor was saying made sense too. He had been disregarding the fact that Yuri struggled to maintain control of his emotions and that even the slightest bit of pressure caused him great anxiety. “Maybe then, it is both of our faults?” He offered. He wouldn’t give up the blame for his actions fully, but he wouldn’t disregard his coach entirely then. After all, Victor had threatened to resign if Yuri didn’t make the podium, which was probably the worst thing he could have done at the time.

“You’re not going to stray from that answer are you” Victor asked smirking, knowing that Yuri was quite possibly the most stubborn athlete he’d met, next to Yurio of course. “You’re awfully tense though Yuri. Do you want to stretch before you head to sleep? Or I could probably find one of the trainers and they could help you out?” Yuri had been training hard for weeks, neglecting his body and it was beginning to show. His feet ached with every step and his muscles never seemed to loosen up fully, not to mention the new back pain he had acquired today. 

Yuri considered the question for just a moment, but then shook his head vigorously. “We’re not done with our conversation you know.” He pointed out shyly.  
“You kissed me on the ice today.” His cheeks burned red, embarrassed about bringing it up but at the same time, he needed to know what was happening between him and Victor. 

Victor’s heart shaped smile returned to his face. “So I did” he answered, his voice going just a bit deeper, and he moved closer to Yuri. “I could do it again, if you’d like.” Yuri shut his eyes, trying to gain control of his body and emotions before saying softly, “I’d like that very much.”

As soon as the words came out of Yuri’s mouth, Victor’s smile grew more tender and his eyes showed only compassion. “Come here my Yuri” he said before wrapping his arms around the younger skater and gently kissing him. It took only a second for Yuri’s body to loosen slightly and for him to return the gesture. Before long, Victor was swiping his tongue along the black-haired man’s lower lip, cautiously asking for entrance. He refused to move too quickly and scare Yuri. Not surprisingly, Yuri paused their kiss for a second and stuttered, “I-I’ve never really done this before, so I don’t really know how good at it I’ll be” His voice got quieter as he spoke and Victor could see how self-conscious the younger man was. “That’s okay. Just copy what I do and you’ll be fine. Your body will find its’ own rhythm soon enough” And then their mouths were together again and Victor was asking for entrance again, but this time Yuri tentatively opened his lips. 

As Victor’s tongue gently snaked forward, his hands moved so that one was cradling Yuri’s head, entangled in the thick hair, while the other rested on his lower back, pulling their bodies closer together. Yuri wrapped his arms around the Russian, hands gently putting pressure on his shoulders and neck. The closer the two men got, the more Yuri realized that he had never been happier in his life. Their bodies fit together so smoothly and while he was nervous about the fact that he’d never done more than hold hands with anyone else, he was also just so happy to be sharing these firsts with Victor. 

After a while, Victor pulled away from the kiss and pressed his forehead against Yuri’s. “As much as I love this, and my, do I love this, I’m serious about you stretching out or seeing a trainer or something. Your body needs a break Yuri.” Their short session of intimacy had only reaffirmed the fact that the skater’s body was being overworked. Yuri’s muscles were tiring out too easily and he could feel his legs shaking beneath him. Victor was right, he was tired and sore. “I guess we can stretch for a bit then” Yuri said yawning before stepping back and running a hand through his hair. 

Victor nodded. “I’ll go grab a mat for you, that way you don’t have to rest on the hard floor. Yuri smiled at him gratefully. “How could I be so lucky to have this man as my coach and my boyfriend?” he thought to himself. After Victor had closed the door behind him, Yuri giggled. “boyfriend” he said and then giggled again. It was so new to him, but he wasn’t really worried about that right now. He was just happy to share something so intimate with someone he loved so much.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Less skating and making out, more injury and panic. I don't know man, I'm just trying to build some plot here
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

After the Grand Prix event in China, Yuri and Victor went back to Hasetsu for two days before leaving for Russia. In those two days, Yuri was able to get in two good training sessions, even landing a quad flip or two and nailing several of his combinations. He forgot about the soreness in his body and worked vigorously to make sure that he was in top shape for the next competition. 

It was during the last training before the Rostelecom Cup that Yuri realized the pain in his back had not faded. Of course, it had been in the back of his mind since returning from China, but he’d pushed through it and trained normally. Today, though, it was slightly worse and he realized that it had been over a week since he’d felt it the first time. “No matter,” he thought to himself. “I’ve got to compete today and tomorrow so that I can make the Grand Prix Finals. I can worry about this later.” As he returned to practicing his combination jumps, he felt a nervous flutter in his stomach. This just had to turn out well. He was nearing the end of his last season and he couldn’t face any major injuries now. 

As Yuri battled his thoughts, Victor was focused on supporting the young skater and pushing him to better himself for the upcoming programs. “Push through your legs more, you’re not getting high enough on the second jump.” So far, he’d landed everything in practice with the exception of the quad flip, but Victor was confident that he’d be able to get that jump consistently sooner rather than later. Yuri had a habit of being ahead of schedule. “Why don’t we rest for a while, we’ve got to stay healthy for the next few weeks and I don’t want you straining yourself any more than you have to.” 

Yuri tried to smile, but it wavered a little as he debated telling Victor about how his back was feeling. It wasn’t necessarily something that hurt _horribly_ but it just wouldn’t go away, and it was getting worse than it was before. “Actually I think we should talk about that” He managed to get the words out well enough, but his mind was in turmoil. “My back really isn’t feeling so great and it hasn’t been since the first quad flip in China.” Yuri shut his eyes tightly, not wanting to meet the gaze of his coach who would surely be disappointed or even angry with him. 

“Yuri, that was a week ago. Why didn’t you say anything?” Victor asked gently. He could see how hard it was for Yuri to bring this up and he didn’t want to scare the younger skater by being angry. Trust was an important part of their relationship, and it was one of the things that Yuri struggled with the most. “I’m not mad at you, I’m just curious” he added carefully, making sure that Yuri knew he wasn’t in any sort of trouble.

Yuri fumbled with his gloves, pulling the fingers and then pushing his hands back into them over and over again. It was one of his nervous habits and was one of the things that Victor looked for when Yuri was unable to make words make sense. “Were you scared that I’d be upset? Or are you more nervous about it actually being injured?” Victor offered, hoping that any sort of suggestion would lead to a response. 

“Both” Yuri answered quietly. “I just didn’t want to disappoint you because I know I wasn’t really supposed to do the quad flip in the first place and if I injured myself then it would’ve been because I wasn’t listening to you, and then you wouldn’t want to coach me anymore and what if-“ Yuri cut himself off. The idea of being seriously injured was too much for him to handle emotionally, and he was already stressed about the upcoming competition. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to ramble. I just don’t know what to do.”

“Yuri, you don’t need to apologize. You’re stressed and tired, I understand. But we do need to talk about what’s going on. How bad does it hurt?” Victor asked calmly, still trying to show that this wasn’t a big deal yet and that Yuri wasn’t alone in this, despite what he seemed to believe. 

Yuri sighed. “It’s not too bad. I mean, right now it’s not effecting any of my jumps and combinations but it’s definitely worse than a sore muscle.” There. That was a good start. It really wasn’t having any effect on his programs right now which is why he had waited so long to say something about it. Well, that and the fear of his coach’s reaction, but even that had gone better than expected. 

Victor thought for a moment, trying to decide how best to go about working through this problem. It would be unwise to pull Yuri from the competition, especially if he wasn’t struggling to complete any of his moves. If it wasn’t anything serious and he didn’t compete, he’d be forced to miss the Grand Prix Finals no matter what, and Victor knew that that would devastate the skater more than anything. At the same time, back injuries were serious and could lead to major and permanent complications if not handled correctly. 

“I want you to see a trainer about this. I know you have a difficult time dealing with people, especially when it’s about something so personal, but it’s important that we figure this out soon. I’ll set up the appointment and even go with you if you’d like,” Victor offered. There was no question that seeing a trainer would be the right thing, but having Victor there was up to Yuri. “We can probably go between now and the short program, but I wouldn’t mind if you said you’d rather wait until after tonight so that you can clear your mind before the event.”

Victor had a point. There was a lot of sense in going to see someone, and Yuri wasn’t sure how he’d be able to handle the anticipation of an appointment during Eros, so he agreed to go after they left the training facility. “I guess you’re right. We probably should just try and get this figured out soon. Besides, isn’t this usually the time they’d recommend for us to go and get medical help if we needed it?” It was still fairly early in the afternoon, but the short program event wouldn’t end until later in the evening and most of the trainers would have gone home already. 

Yuri looked up at Victor and could see the concern and compassion in his bright blue eyes. Suddenly, he felt safer, even though he was still nervous and upset. Somehow, even just looking into the eyes of the man that he loved helped him to calm down now. Just a week ago, it made him more anxious than anything. “Oh! And I almost forgot. You really do have to make this appointment, or I’ll get too nervous and won’t do it myself.”

Victor chuckled. “I’ll call them now then.” He stepped away for a second, pulled out his phone and dialed the number that was provided to all coaches and skaters in the paperwork for the competition. As he began talking in Russian, Yuri began to second guess his decision. What if they said he couldn’t compete tonight or tomorrow? This was his last chance to redeem himself after last season and he couldn’t afford to mess it up with a minor injury scare. And besides, he didn’t know anyone at the medical center. How was he supposed to tell them about what he was feeling, even if it was just physically, when he could barely answer a telephone?

Before he could become too overwhelmed with his train of panicked thoughts, he heard Victor walk back towards him. “We have to be there in twenty minutes. It’s only a short bus ride, so you’ve still got a minute to change if you’d like.” There was no turning back now. He was going to have to go anyway, so it didn’t really matter when, right?

“I think I’ll be okay. My clothes aren’t too wet or anything. I just have to put everything into my bag and we can go.” Victor nodded and began gathering his jacket and video camera to put back into his bag. Yuri slowly organized his skate laces, prolonging the inevitable. After putting one skate into the bag, he began to rearrange the second skates laces, even more slowly this time, until he felt a hand covering his own. “Yuri, you don’t have to be so nervous. It’s not even a real doctor’s appointment. We’re just going to see what they say, okay?” Victor took the skate from Yuri’s hand and tucked the laces neatly together before putting it away and zipping up the bag. “Are you ready?” he asked brightly. 

Yuri swallowed and breathed in deeply before answering with a nod of his head. They walked hand in hand out of the training rink and into the cold winter air towards the bus stop. “If it makes you feel any better, the man you’ll be meeting with is an acquaintance of mine. I actually went to see him when I was having ankle issues once or twice. He showed me a few new stretches and things and told me I’d be good as new after a few weeks if I kept up with them. And he was right. I’m sure this will be no different for you.”

Yuri focused on his breathing as they waited for the bus to arrive, and then as they were sitting down and heading down the road, and even still as they were walking into the building. It was bigger than he’d anticipated, nearly reaching the size of the building where the training rink was. 

“This building houses a gym as well as a medical facility and the offices of the head officials of the Rostelecom Cup. It’s mostly used as a place for members of the national ski, snowboard, and bobsled teams to train when they’re travelling, as well as a place to do their physical therapy. It’s really quite elaborate” Victor went on to tell Yuri about how the last time he’d been here, the Grand Prix event had coincided with a freestyle skiing world cup and that the place had been so busy he’d hardly been able to get into the gym to stretch, let alone do anything else. “There were so many people rolling out on mats and doing basic exercises that Yakov and I decided it was better to just stretch at home.”

Yuri nodded, barely listening as he looked around in wonder. The building was impressive from the outside, with its high pillars and stonework but the inside was what was really impressive. Framed photos lined the walls depicting some of the greatest moments in sports history. Olympic medals hung next to bibs from past events and little TV’s played videos of current athletes on their best runs. He’d never seen anything like it and wished that there was more time to spend exploring. 

“This way Yuri,” Victor said cheerfully as he pulled Yuri through a glass door. As they entered the training room, Yuri could see a treadmill and exercise bike on his right, while foam rollers and brightly colored stretchy bands on his left. There was a small desk in the middle of the room and a little further up was a small section that held several exam tables. He thought he could see a tiny swimming pool and cold tub through a glass door in the back. Victor let go of Yuri’s hand and walked forward to greet a man standing near the tables. “Petr! It’s good to see you! This is Yuri, Yuri this is Petr.” He introduced them quickly and in English thank goodness. At least Yuri could keep up with that much.

“Hi Yuri. I’ve known Victor for a long time. I’ve seen a lot of your skating over the past few years, and I have to say this year has been most impressive. Your improvements are incredible! Why don’t you come and sit on one of these tables for me and we’ll get started” Yuri could barely mumble a thanks and get onto the nearest table before the other man began talking again. “I hear you’ve been having some back issues though. Why don’t we talk about that? When did it start? And where exactly does it hurt?”

Yuri looked to Victor for some kind of confirmation that this was really happening. This wouldn’t be so bad, right? “I guess it started hurting about a week ago, during the Grand Prix event in China. I fell on a quad flip and it’s kind of been bothering me ever since then. And as for where, I guess it’s mostly my lower back, but more the left side than anything?” His sentences started to sound like questions as he became more and more nervous. This was still too new to him. He’d never been seriously injured before and he was still trying to maintain his competitive mentality for the short program tonight. 

“You say you fell on the quad flip. How would you describe that fall?” Petr asked. Yuri answered quickly and the questions continued, one after the next. “What would you rate it on a scale from one to ten? Have you had this before? Is there anything else that might have caused this? What usually makes it feel better, if anything? Are you taking anything for the pain? Do you want to take anything for the pain?” Soon enough Yuri’s head was spinning and his answers became shorter and shorter. He could barely bring himself to look up from his hands. 

“Yuri, are you okay?” Victor asked quietly. He could tell that the younger skater was getting overwhelmed. “Petr, can we take a break for a second? He gets nervous sometimes” Victor said with a light laugh. Yuri felt his frustration grow almost into anger for a second, but quickly calmed down again. He couldn’t help that he was so bad at dealing with people. Besides, they were only trying to help him. “Sorry, I’m okay.” He answered, sounding more confident now, although he kept his gaze fixed on his hands.

“Alright well then how about you lay on your stomach for a second and I’ll check things out, okay?” Petr asked, gently moving Yuri’s shoulders down so that he was lying flat on the table. “There you go, now just roll over.” As Yuri got himself situated on his stomach with his hands tucked under his chin, supporting his head, Victor moved closer to the front of the table, chatting casually with Petr all the while. “So, you’re a coach now. Never thought I’d see the day when the great Victor Nikiforov left the ice for good.” Petr said casually as he kneaded his fingers in the soft flesh of Yuri’s lower back. 

Victor only laughed saying “Well you know me, I’m always full of surprises.” As the two men continued talking, Yuri remained silent, clenching his muscles tightly until he could feel them shaking. “Are you tense because it hurts or because you’re nervous Yuri? Because if you’re nervous it will be much easier if you just relax.” Petr said while moving his fingers closer and closer to Yuri’s spine. Yuri inhaled deeply before letting the air out slowly in an effort to release the tension in his body. “There we go, that’s better. I’m going to press down on your spine with the heel of my hand and I need you to tell me if anything hurts.”

Yuri nodded and the trainer began pressing on the middle of his back, slowly working his way down until Yuri felt the sharp pain return, although less intensely this time. “Th-that kind of hurts there.” He said, not wanting to admit that it hurt at all. 

Petr and Victor shared a quick look, and Yuri was sure that he could see concern in his coaches face for a split second before Petr was back to his questions. “Does it hurt where I’m pressing or on the side like before?” Yuri took a second to consider the options and how it felt before answering. “Both I think. But it hurts less in the middle than it does on the side.” 

Petr moved his hand from Yuri’s back and allowed the man to turn over again before saying “I don’t know that there’s anything seriously wrong, but I think you should get X-Rays just in case. You’re still fine to compete and everything for now, but I want you to be careful. You said it hurt when I was pressing on your spine, and it could just be bruised, but that’s an important part of your body and we don’t want to take any risks here alright? Come and see me tomorrow after the free skate and we’ll go over to the hospital and get that done.”

Yuri felt his mouth go dry. He hadn’t been in a hospital since his rink mate got injured in Detroit and even that caused him to become nervous when he thought about it again. Seeing that Yuri’s mind was quickly wandering elsewhere, Victor answered for him saying “We’ll both be there. Thanks again Petr” before shaking the other man’s hand and helping Yuri off the table. “You’ll be alright don’t worry. It’s just a precaution anyway. Besides, you can still compete. It’ll be fine” Yuri managed to nod his head and walk with shaky legs out of the building and back to the bus stop.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's so much going on in this chapter I don't even know how to summarize it.   
> Thanks for sticking with it to chapter three though :)  
> Enjoy the writing!

As Yuri walks back through the hotel the night of the short program, he notices several people crowding around one elevator. They seem to be arguing and he’s keen to avoid them, until he realizes that they’re also competitors in the upcoming event. He pauses for just a moment, considering joining them on their elevator but decides against it and chooses to use the one beside it instead. Before the doors can close, a foot jams itself between them and Yurio walks into the elevator. “Why are you sneaking around pork cutlet bowl” He asks sharply. Well, at least he didn’t seem like he’d changed too much in the past few months. “It’s been a while hasn’t it” Yuri asked. 

They rode the elevator in awkward silence for a short while, Yuri fidgeting nervously with his jacket and Yurio glowering at the doors in front of him. As they reached Yuri’s floor, he looked over to the young Russian and said “Well, good luck to the both of us then.” He smiled sincerely, wondering how much luck Yurio would actually need. He’d won the Junior Grand Prix Finals last year, and he was nothing short of remarkable as a senior. Still though, it was the polite thing to do. “Don’t wish me luck Pork Cutlet Bowl. You’re going to suffer a miserable defeat and then when I win I’ll have Victor come back to Russia and coach me instead.” Yurio answered angrily.

Yuri only continued to grin, laughing to himself. This kid was always full of anger and determination, but how far would that take him if his arrogance became too strong? He stepped off the elevator and headed towards his room, mentally checking off all of the things that he needed to do before the short program tonight. He’d probably stop by Victor’s room sooner or later and then they’d head to the rink for the short warmup session before the competition. 

 

As Yuri slid the key into the door, he took a second to think about the day. It started off pretty well this morning at training. They’d kept it light because of the competition tonight and really only went over the major jumps and combinations. He’d landed nearly all of them which was a plus, considering he got most nervous when he flubbed jumps before a competition. Then there was the meeting with the trainer, which definitely left him feeling unsettled, although the nerves from earlier had faded. “I’m glad I can at least get my head around my skating rather than having to worry about going afterwards” he thought to himself. To his surprise, when he actually walked further into his room, he noticed Victor sitting in one of the desk chairs. 

“Victor what are you doing in here?” He asked, genuinely confused. Victor looked up from his book, an amused expression on his face. “I told one of the maids that I was your coach and was helping you get things ready before the competition tonight. She was pretty understanding and it helps that I’m kind of a big name around here.” He looked at Yuri waiting for a response, but when he received none he just sighed. “I was thinking we could go over our program before tonight and think about your jumps. You didn’t land the quad flip at all today, so I was thinking that you’d just stick with the usual program?”

“If I stick with the usual program though, I won’t have nearly the difficulty that JJ has presented in his last competition. And this is the last chance to make the Finals, so wouldn’t it make sense to put everything out there both days?” Yuri asked. He wasn’t used to backing down his programs at such important competitions, even if he wasn’t consistent in his jumps. “I mean, there’s a chance I could land it, and even if I drug a hand across the ice I’d get more points than putting a lower level quad in.”

“Yes, you could get higher points for it. But I fear that you’d lose focus on your performance and train your thoughts on the final jump only. That could lead to more major mistakes throughout the rest of the program and then the additional difficulty wouldn’t matter because you’d be making up for the rest of the mistakes. I’m not saying you’re not capable of doing this, I’m just saying it might be wise to hold off on the quad flip until tomorrow. Take today slowly and then put absolutely everything into tomorrow no matter what.” It was a strategy that coaches and athletes often used when they were looking for a guaranteed win. Taking it back a step so that the program would be more flawless than challenging. 

 

“As long as you think that’s going to be the best idea than I’m willing to try it. But tomorrow I think we really need to put the quad flip in.” Yuri said, unwilling to give up the challenging program completely. “Regardless of whether or not I’ll need the points. I want to put one hundred percent into my free skate.”

Victor nodded. He admired the way that Yuri always wanted to strive for more, never satisfied until he’d pushed his limits far beyond what was necessary and until he had exceeded everyone else’s expectations. “We’ll work on that tomorrow then. But let’s watch some of the videos from training this morning. Specifically, the performance. Your jumps were clean but you were lacking Eros in your movements.” Victor began to point out several spots where Yuri seemed lost in thought rather than lost in the program. “What were you thinking of here?” he would ask, but Yuri would only shrug and try to focus on what he could do better next time. 

“So, you think that if I focus on my performance more, the jumps will fall into place easier?” He asked. “I can make that work I think.” He’d done it before, although that was usually with his free program. Besides, it was going to be hard to use Victor as his object of seduction when he was apparently already seduced. It was why he’d seemed so out of focus recently during his short program. His story line had faded. 

The two men had been standing shoulder to shoulder at first, watching the video together and figuring out what to do next, but Victor had managed to slip himself behind Yuri saying, “We could always go over the feelings a little more before the program if you wanted. I know how hard it is for you to really get into the Eros of it all.” Victor’s tone was seductive and practically dripping with sex appeal. Yuri shivered as he felt long arms wrap around his torso, and Victor’s chin came to rest upon his shoulder, his silver hair brushing against the Japanese man’s face. “You won’t be too tired out, I promise”

Yuri let out a short laugh before becoming more serious. “Victor, you know that I don’t really know anything about this sort of… stuff. Do you really think that today is the best day to try and it figure it out?” Victor only tilted his head and smiled. “Yuri, I’m your coach. It wouldn’t be very good of me to let you dark forever, would it? Especially if your program depends on it.” It was all banter at this point. Yuri knew that one way or another he and Victor would end up sharing their personal space and he was more than happy about it. 

“Alright, so teach me,” Yuri whispered before turning around and pulling their bodies closer together. He stood up on his toes just a bit so that their lips would meet. Victor was caught off guard by Yuri’s boldness for only a second before he hungrily returned the kiss. His hands went from wrapped around Yuri to tracing patterns along his torso, fingertips just grazing the skin underneath his t-shirt. 

“Let’s start by getting rid of this then, shall we?” Victor mumbled against Yuri’s lips as he pushed the bottom of the shirt up. Yuri raised his arms above his head, allowing Victor to peel the shirt from his body, breaking the kiss for only a moment before leaning back in. The cold air on his back reminded him of mornings on the ice, a thought that felt like home. He pressed closer to Victor, relishing in the softness of the moment contrasted with the harshness of their desire to be together. It was a need that could never be satisfied, there would never be enough kisses and nights spent together to make it go away. 

Yuri nearly smiled at the thought of this, until he felt the pressing of Victor’s erection against his leg. He froze, unsure of what to do. He pulled away, taking a step back. He didn’t know what to do with this and the panic in his eyes was obvious. “V-Victor” He managed to stutter. Victor immediately changed, his fingers going from running up and down Yuri’s back to cupping Yuri’s face. “We do what you want to do here okay? I’ll respect whatever you want. If you want to stop or go slower or whatever, let me know. I promise, I’ll listen.”

Yuri nodded, thinking carefully before speaking again. “I don’t want you to think I don’t want this. I do. Just, well, I don’t know. It’s right before a competition and I don’t know how to do this and I’m just not ready I don’t think. Can I be not ready?” He asked. It came out sounding childish and he knew that Victor would take it as a dumb question.

But Victor only laughed. “Of course, you can be not ready my Yuri, it’s your body. No one can tell you when you’re supposed to be ready or not, regardless of who they are. And don’t forget that. I will wait for you as long as you need me to.” He traced his thumbs down Yuri’s cheeks. “Do you want to stop now then? We can get ready for the short program tonight if that’s what you want.” Yuri nodded weakly in response. “I really just want to do well tonight,” He said quietly. “This competition really is a big deal.”

Victor smiled and stepped back. He picked up Yuri’s shirt from the floor and handed it back to the skater. “You’re going to want this back then. I’ll meet you in the lobby in half an hour.”

***

Finally, it’s time for the second group to go in the short program event. So far, Seung-Gil, Emil, and Michele had gone and they’d all done fairly well. Victor finishes tying up Yuri’s skate and looks up, smiling encouragingly. “You’re going to do amazing” He says. As Victor stands up, the crowd begins shouting his name, rather than Yuri’s. 

Yuri watches as his coach waves and smiles, acting like the star that he is. And it’s true. Victor is a legend and the world can’t seem to get over his supposed retirement. His name echoes throughout the rink and Yuri feels a tightening in his chest. It was intimidating to be here, among thousands of people that feel like he stole Victor from the world. “And in a sense, I guess I did,” he thought to himself before doing something completely embarrassing. He grabbed Victor’s tie and pulled their faces close together. “The performance has already begun.” He whispers forcefully, making sure to let go of Victor’s tie only after his words have been thoroughly processed. Victor nodded and Yuri moved to skate away, but paused for a second. “Don’t worry” he said. “I’ll show my love to the whole of Russia.” And with that he glided towards the middle of the rink and got into his starting position.

“What have I done?” He thought to himself. “Show my love to the whole of Russia? What kind of soap opera is this?” Surely, he could have been less dramatic, less obvious, _something_. But no. This is how he chose to portray himself in his coach and lovers home country, so he might as well play the part. The announcers began introducing him as the music began to play, and Yuri looked seductively at Victor, licking his lip and blowing a kiss before turning his thoughts to his program once again.

“I need to get fourth here. Otherwise this may be the last time I skate with Victor by my side. And what will happen then?” He thinks before preparing himself for the first jump. He executes the triple axel nearly flawlessly and the rest of the program falls into place from there. Yuri doesn’t know the exact moment when the atmosphere in the arena changed, but he knew that at some point they stopped cheering for Victor and were calling his name instead.

The rest of the Short Program event went by rather quickly and Yuri is in second place going into the Free Skate the next day. As he and Victor are preparing to leave the rink, Mari calls. It’s not unusual for her to call after an event, but still this is rather soon after the conclusion. Usually she waits an hour or two depending on his performance. He answers in a hurry, worried that something might be wrong. He is barely able to greet her before she begins talking. As the conversation goes on, Yuri’s face begins to pale and his hands begin to shake. “This can’t be happening” he thinks to himself.

“Victor!” he calls out, seeing the silver haired man talking to one of the other coaches. “Victor you have to go back to Hasetsu.” Victor gives him a look of confusion before noticing the concern in Yuri’s eyes. “Yuri, love, what’s the matter. What’s happened?” Yuri took a breath, remembering how hard it was when Vicchan got sick, and instantly hated that he had to be the one to share the news with Victor. “Makkachin is sick. He ate too many steamed buns and he’s in the animal center now. They’re hoping that he’ll be okay but they’re not sure he’ll make it through the night. You have to go back and be there for him.”

“But you need me here, Yuri. I’m your coach and tomorrow is still part of the competition. I can’t leave you, especially when I know how much this competition means to you.” Victor said. For the first time, Yuri could see through the older man’s confidence. Though one of his eyes was hidden behind silver hair, the fear was beginning to show through. It tore Yuri to pieces, knowing that Victor was in the midst of such a difficult decision.

“Victor, I’ll be okay. Makkachin needs you, and trust me, you’ll feel better if you were there. Nobody will be upset if you leave. I can call Mari or Minako or someone to pick you up at the airport and you’ll get to Makkachin as fast as possible. Please, do this for you Victor.” 

Victor seemed frozen in place, unable to truly make a decision, and for a moment, Yuri thought he could see tears in the other man’s eyes. The instant passed as quickly as it had come though and Victor returned to being his usual confident self. “I’ve got an idea. You’re not going to like it, but it’s the best that I can do. Yakov will surely agree to coaching you tomorrow and then you’ll come home and we’ll begin training again for the Grand Prix Final. But what will you do about your X-Ray? We were supposed to go to the hospital remember?”

Yuri had honestly forgotten about the pain in his back until now, but once reminded, he became fully aware of the dull throbbing that seemed to have gotten worse in the last few hours. “I’ll be fine with that too Victor. I’ll meet with Petr before and go with him. I’ll explain the situation to him and everything will be fine.”

Victor nodded, though he still seemed unsure of his decision. “You will call me if anything happens, right?” He asked. “I feel horrible about leaving you here on your own.” Yuri stepped forward to enclose the Russian in a hug. “You’re doing your best. I know that. It’s going to be fine Victor.” 

Yuri continued to reassure Victor as they walked to find Yakov and then on the ride back to the hotel for Victor to pack some of his things. “I’ll just take what you can’t pack quickly back with me. It won’t be a big deal” Yuri said, as he folded sweaters and pushed them into a suitcase. 

Finally, though, it was time for Victor to go. They got a taxi to the airport and spent most of the ride in silence, fingers laced together resting on their legs while Victor drummed the fingers on his other hand impatiently. When they finally got to security, Yuri hugged Victor again, more tightly this time. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out and the only thing he could do was hold Victor close. It was Victor who eventually pulled away, already looking tired and stressed, though his eyes still held their sparkle. “You’ll be fine Yuri. No matter what happens, I am so proud of you. Remember that and do your best. And don’t worry about the hospital. It’s going to turn out fine, I’m almost sure of it. I will call you after the competition to give you an update okay?” He pressed a kiss to the top of the other man’s head. "See you soon, my Yuri," he said before turning and walking into the crowded security area.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally made this chapter fourteen pages. I don't know why or how or anything but I do know that it's really hard to write Yuri without Victor.
> 
> Thank you guys for all of the Kudos and sweet comments! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you've loved the last few !

Four hours since Victor had left for the airport. Five hours until Yuri had to get out of bed for official training. Six until the Free Skate event began. Nine until he had to be at the hospital. Fifteen until he was on a plane to go home again. Every minute felt like an hour. Yuri sighed. He rolled over in bed and reached for his glasses and his phone, checking the clock for what felt like the millionth time tonight. His mind was racing.

“What if I fall tomorrow? What if Makkachin doesn’t make it through the night? What if I don’t make the Grand Prix Final? What if Victor decides that I really don’t need him and stops coaching me? What if the X-Ray doesn’t turn out well?”

One question after another came crashing through his head, each piling more doubt onto the lack of self-confidence that was already so hard to deal with. Tears filled Yuri’s eyes as his hands started shaking. He took his glasses off again, knowing that they’d just end up streaked with tears if he kept them on, and then what good would they do?

“I can’t do this” he whispered quietly into the darkness of the room. Of course, there was no one there to answer him and the silence enveloped him like a blanket. There was only one thing he could think of to ease his mind. He stood up, turned on the lights and cleared everything from the center of the floor. He didn’t so much hear the opening notes of his free skate program, but rather, he felt them. As his body began to ease into the motions, he felt his thoughts slow as well. Each time he exhaled, he felt as though he was releasing all of his worries and the stress was melting away. It was a temporary fix of course, but right now, it was the best thing in the world.

 

Despite not being able to spread out and glide like he did on the ice, and the occasional bump into a desk or the bed, even just going through the poses with his arms brought a relief that only skating could. Instead of the panic he felt just minutes ago, he felt reassurance. “This is who I’m meant to be” he thought to himself.

When he finally felt like himself again, he stopped and looked at the clock. An hour had passed, but for some reason, that didn’t worry him anymore. As he turned out the lights and tucked himself back underneath the covers, he found that it was much easier to fall asleep this time.

***

Yuri tied his skates, watching as the other competitors took to the ice for their short warmup before the actual event began. Training this morning had gone well, though he’d taken it easy on the jumps and focused mainly on his performance, making sure that each movement conveyed emotion and that the transitions into and out of jumps would be smooth and consistent. 

He skated around the rink a few times before running through his step sequence and practicing one more of his jump combinations. It was better to save his energy for the actual program, especially when the stakes were so high today. “I can make this work, as long as I get fourth. I can get fourth, right?” Yuri thought to himself, the butterflies in his stomach coming back. 

Without noticing, he pulled at the fingers of his gloves while he watched Emil take to the ice. While his eyes followed the Czech skater, his thoughts wandered to Victor. He imagined the older man standing beside him, one hand on his shoulder as he talked Yuri through the program he was about to perform. “What would Victor say to me?” He asked himself, trying to focus on what would happen in a normal competition. 

“First, I’d probably make sure that he was focusing on what was going on, actually. He tends to get fairly distracted by the crowd and the energy of the other skaters. Then he’d run over a few of the key points he’d want me to focus on during the program. Finally, he’d say something encouraging, like he was proud of me or he was confident in my skills or something.” Yakov had agreed to be Yuri’s coach for the day, but he still didn’t feel too comfortable talking to him. He seemed so gruff and bitter, plus Yurio was his athlete. It was unfair to take time away from the person he was actually supposed to be coaching just because there was an emergency that Victor had to tend to. “No, I’ll handle this on my own.” 

After Emil performed, it was Michele’s turn. He performs nearly flawlessly, earning a relatively high score which puts him in first place for now. Now, Yuri is paying attention. There are only two more skaters before it’s his turn and he doesn’t want to become too distracted. As Seung-Gil glides toward the center of the rink, Yuri cheers him on mentally. Despite the fact that they’re competing against one another, he’d never wish for anything bad to happen to another skater. It was better to lose to someone when both of you are at your best than to win because something bad happened. 

Seung-Gil touched a hand right off the bat and fell on one of his quads. Yuri could see the despair in his eyes as he walked to the Kiss and Cry booth. “I know that feeling well” he thought, remembering his performance at the Grand Prix Final last year. “I can’t think of that now. It’s Yurio’s turn, and then mine. There’s no time for negative thoughts.” He was fighting hard to keep his morale high, but it was becoming harder and harder with each passing program. “You can do this” He whispered to himself. “You can.” The words fall flat as he watches Yurio nail jump after jump, spin after spin. The performance was nearly flawless, a personal best for sure. 

With a shaky breath, Yuri waited for the young Russian to exit the rink before stepping on himself. A quick lap around walls helped to calm him, but not enough to allow him to focus fully on what he was doing. “I can’t waste the training that Victor has given me” he thought to himself. “I took him from the world, I have to at least make it worthwhile.” He takes off for his first combination, but fails to perform the quadruple loop well enough to hit the second jump. It turns into a single and his heart begins to pound. “I’ve made it this far, thanks to Victor. He’s always had the confidence that I would make it to the finals. And why shouldn’t I? I’ve got an amazing coach, and I’ve landed all of these jumps before. I just have to put it together again today.” 

Despite his efforts to relax and perform the way that he can, he lands his next jump with two feet. “Another mistake” he criticizes, and he feels as though he’s going to throw up. “His confidence is unfounded. I’m no better than I was last year.” Each movement feels stiff and forced, the emotions on his face representing more what he was feeling now than the story he was trying to tell. 

A voice breaks through his turmoil, cheering him on. Curiously, Yuri listens as best he could while focusing on his program at the same time. “It’s Yurio” he thinks in disbelief. And then, with a surge of confidence, the wall that was quickly rising in his mind comes crumbling down. “Yurio looked like he was going to kick the bucket in his second half. I honestly thought he wasn’t going to make it through his three-jump combo. Idiot. I have more stamina than he does.” He pushes himself off the ice, focusing only on his major strengths as he performs a triple axel. “This program is no harder than when Victor is here. The jumps are the same. It’s my mentality that’s changed.”

The rest of the program goes rather smoothly, until the last jump. Physically, Yuri can handle the strain but mentally, he’s exhausted. He’s been through so many emotions in this free skate alone and he’s tired. He touches down on the last jump, but makes it through the final seconds of the program. As he collapsed to the ice, Yuri couldn’t help but determine that this was his most difficult program so far. 

***

The standings were finally official. JJ had won, with Yurio coming in second. Yuri and Michele had tied, but because Yuri had placed second in the Cup of China, he was advancing to the Grand Prix Finals. “I knew you would make it!” he heard Sara cry out joyfully as she ran to embrace him. Yuri hugged her back, feeling as though a great weight had come off his chest. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “And good luck to you tomorrow” he added, noting the look of fury on Michele’s face. 

“Maybe he needs a hug too?” Suddenly Yuri was chasing down any competitor he could find, hugging each and every one of them and congratulating or comforting them based on today’s performances. Well, everyone except Yurio, who insisted on running away from him.

When all was said and done, and his skating possessions were packed neatly into his duffel bag, it was time for Yuri to head back to the hotel, change and get ready to meet Petr for the X-Ray. When he finally reached his room again, he pulled out his phone, finger hovering over Victor’s contact. “Should I call him now?” he asked himself. “He might still be caring for Makkachin though, and I don’t want to interrupt him. These could very well be the last moments they spend together. It’s better if I leave them to it.” He concluded. He could face a hospital by himself, right?

As he changed out of his training clothes, he thought of Victor and the short time that they had left together. “He’s going to leave eventually. That’s unavoidable. But I can’t imagine skating without him anymore. I’ve loved skating my whole life and yet I’ve never felt more comfortable on the ice than when he’s around.” Yuri double checked his pockets, reassuring himself that he had his ID card as well as his insurance information. He didn’t know how international hospitals worked, so it was better safe than sorry. Worst case scenario, he told them he was a professional skater and was unsure of how things worked here.

As he boarded the bus, his thoughts travelled back to Victor. “I could just ask him to stay. Then he would be able to tell me what he wants without feeling strange about bringing it up. But then, I don’t know if Victor ever feels strange about conversation. After all, he introduced himself as my coach naked in the onsen.” Usually, the memory would make Yuri smile, but today it only made him feel worse. How much longer would he have until that first memory was paired with a last? He didn’t want to think about it anymore.

When the bus finally arrived at the hospital, he saw Petr sitting outside on a bench. The two made eye contact and the trainer stood up, grinning widely. “Victor called and told me you’d be coming alone! I thought I’d meet you out here since you probably didn’t know where to go once you were inside.” Yuri forced himself to smile and hide his nervousness. 

“I really appreciate that. You’re right, I’m totally clueless about what to do here.” Petr laughed before speaking again. “Of course you are! You’re in a foreign country and you’ve never been majorly injured before am I right?” He continued without waiting for a response. No wonder he and Victor got along so well. “Basically, we’ll just go in, tell them you’re a travelling skater and that when you’re done you’d like the disc to be sent with you. They might ask your address and such just so they can put you in the system, but it’s really not too difficult. Then we’ll go hang out in a waiting room for a few minutes, you’ll go back, have the X-Rays done, they’ll hand you the disc and we’ll leave!”

“You sound awfully excited about this” Yuri mumbled, distracted by both the enthusiasm and the interior of the hospital. It wasn’t grand like the training center Victor had taken him to, but it wasn’t as plain as he thought it would be either. The walls were brightly colored with pictures of smiling doctors hung beside little biographies telling about their education and accomplishments. He felt a hand on his back, guiding him towards the right. “The front desk is there. If you need a translator let me know, but I think they speak pretty good English here.”

Yuri took a breath before stepping forward. The woman behind the desk seemed preoccupied with paperwork, and while he didn’t want to bother her, he knew from past experience that it was better to just get the introductions over with and she’d get to him when she could. “H-hello? I’m Yuri Katsuki. I was supposed to come in for an X-Ray today?” She looked up, putting on her glasses in the process. “You’re the Japanese skater, right? We were told you were coming. There are just a few papers we need you to fill out and then we can get you back, alright?” Yuri nodded, watching as she arranged a small stack of papers on a clipboard. “The first page is personal information. The second page is regarding the injury. The third page is just legal information. Bring it back up here when you’re done.”

Yuri turned back to Petr and found that he was already relaxing in one of the seats in the hall. He shuffled over and sat beside him, scanning through the papers and filling out the information he knew off the top of his head. Address was easy, as was his name and date of birth. There were a couple of things that were worded funny, and he had Petr help him with those. He put the injury page in the back, uneager to begin filling that one out. The legality page was easy enough. It basically confirmed that he would like to take the disc home with him and that he was willing to give Petr or Victor access to them if the need be. He scribbled his names on all of the marked lines before flipping to the last page. 

“Now for the hard part” he thought to himself. The first question was simple enough. “Where does it hurt?” he answered, lower left side. “On a scale of one to ten, what is the pain level?” This one was difficult. How was he supposed to know what a ten felt like? Obviously, he knew what zero felt like and he assumed that one was just above it, but after that he was clueless. What if he went to high? Or too low? The paper wouldn’t be accurate then and this could all be a waste of time. Noticing the young man’s obvious frustration, Petr looked up from his phone. “Having trouble Yuri?” he asked patiently. 

Yuri shook his head, “I don’t get this question. How am I supposed to know what the number is?” Petr laughed. “It’s not rocket science Yuri. It’s a guess. I’d say that a ten is what it feels like to be hit by a truck. Does it feel like you’ve been hit by a truck?” Yuri sighed. He didn’t know what getting hit by a truck felt like either, but it was pointless to bring that up. He wrote three and moved on to the next question. “How was it injured?” Was figure skating accident specific enough? He didn’t think so, and wrote failed to land a jump afterwards. “Are you pregnant?” it asked. That one he could answer with great confidence. He was not. After several other questions regarding any numbness, tingling, diseases and medication, Yuri was semi-confident that he was ready to turn it in. 

“Will you look at these to make sure that I’ve done everything correctly?” he asked Petr. He didn’t want to be a burden, but at the same time he wanted to do this correctly. Petr nodded before taking the clipboard and skimming the pages. “It looks like you’ve got everything filled out. Just sign your name in this one spot and then you can hand it in.” Yuri did as he was told and returned to the woman at the desk. 

“Ok” she said “If you go down this hall, the waiting room is the third door on your right. Good luck” she said with a smile. Yuri thanked her and went in the direction she had pointed towards. “Hopefully I don’t need any luck,” he thought to himself with a shiver. 

It wasn’t long before he was called back and directed towards a small room containing a bed and several machines. “Alright Yuri, let’s get this over with and then you can be on your way.” The technician was friendly enough, but Yuri was hardly paying attention to his words. He gazed around the room in wonder, curious as to what each machine did, but also eager to get this over with. “Stand over here,” the other man said, gently pulling him in front of a screen like sheet. “Just face forward and don’t move a muscle. That includes holding your breath” he said with a smile. “I just want to get out of here already,” Yuri thought to himself for the hundredth time today.

***

Half an hour later, Yuri was back on the bus carrying a disc with the images of his spine. He looked at it with disdain, both intrigued and revolted by the fact that the inside of his body could be so easily seen by such a simple process. He had five hours until he was on a plane back to Japan. That meant there was enough time to pack, take a quick nap, and have about an hour to spare at the airport. 

The time went quickly and after checking and double checking that he had all of his and Victor’s belongings, Yuri was finally ready to leave. He took one last look at the hotel as the taxi drove away, thinking of how wild this trip had been. He’d made it to the Grand Prix Finals, and right now that was all that mattered. He forced thoughts of the disc of images out of his head and focused only on the training he would need before the upcoming event. 

Thoughts of combinations and jumps filled his mind until eventually he’d gone through the airport, boarded the plane and fallen asleep. He dreamed that Victor had been with him throughout the entire trip. In the dream, his free skate had gone better, nearly perfectly, and Victor had been so proud. There’d been no tie or question about whether or not he’d make the final and they had celebrated with Victor showing him some of his favorite places in the city. 

Of course, the dream was cut short by the bouncing of the plane when the wheels touched the ground. Yuri rubbed his eyes, willing his vision to refocus. Had he really slept the whole way here? It was no matter. He was almost home, almost to Victor. He gathered his belonging and headed out of the plane, following the signs leading to baggage claim. 

“Arf!” 

Yuri looked up from the ground. That bark was familiar. 

“Arf arf!”

It came again, and this time Yuri was sure he knew who it belonged to. He turned his head, meeting the gaze of one very excited brown poodle and then one very tired Victor. Without breaking eye contact, he ran towards the doors, forgetting his exhaustion and stress, beyond excited to see his love. As he ran into the other man’s arms, he could feel a warmth spreading inside of him. He never wanted to let go.

“I’ve been thinking about what I can do from now on as your coach” Victor whispered. Yuri’s breath caught in his throat, and he swallowed his nervousness. “Me too” he answered before grabbing the Russian’s shoulders and pushing him back so that their eyes could lock once again. “Please be my coach until I retire!” The words came out in a rush, and they took Victor by surprise. His eyes widened before his mouth curved upwards. “It’s almost like a marriage proposal” he said gently, kissing Yuri’s hand before pulling him back into a hug. “If that’s the case, I wish you’d never retire.”

Yuri’s eyes filled with tears. All of the stress and fear he’d felt in the last few days was coming to the surface, but it was matched with overwhelming love. This hug shared more thoughts than most words ever could, and paired with the promise that was just made, it was almost too much. It was everything he could have ever asked for and more. “I love you Victor Nikiforov. I can’t say it out loud yet, but one day I will.” Yuri thought to himself, never more sure of anything in his life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot longer I think. It's roughly 4500 words? Either way, I hope you enjoy it!

Yuri awakens to Victor pounding on his bedroom door. It’s not unusual for the Russian man to be awake first in the morning, but it is strange for him to be so urgent in waking up Yuri as well, especially after a major competition. Yuri drug himself from underneath the covers, knocking over a stack of papers on his bedside table in the process. He decides to ignore them as he fumbles for his glasses and goes to open the door. 

As always, Victor looks absolutely chipper when Yuri lets him into the room. “He always a morning person” Yuri thinks to himself, leaning down to pick up the papers he had knocked down a second ago. “How’d you sleep Yuri? Are you ready for today?” It took Yuri a moment to process Victor’s question, despite how straightforward it was. Victor laughed. “Still jet lagged I see? You’ve had, what, one full night of sleep to recover?” He laughed again before putting his arm around Yuri and leading him towards the door. “That’s okay. We’ll take it easy for training today. Actually, I thought of a list of things that we need to do today that don’t include training on the rink at all!”

“Not on the rink? Victor what are you talking about? The Finals are in three weeks! I need to practice!” Yuri was insistent on his time at the rink, especially after having spent so long getting back to a healthy weight for a skater and not being permitted to set foot on the ice. “I can’t start slacking now that I’ve made the finals Victor. You know that”

Victor nodded seriously. “I know that you can’t Yuri. But you need a day to rest. Your body is hurting, and I’m not just talking about your back. Your muscles are getting tired and I can see the exhaustion in your eyes. You need a day of rest. We’ll talk about skating tomorrow” he answered with finality. Yuri sighed. There was no point in arguing. When Victor had made up his mind, that was the end of it, especially regarding training.

“Alright, so what are we doing then?” Yuri asked, wondering what Victor could possibly have up his sleeve this time. There was always some kind of catch to their so-called days off, be it Victor trying to pry information out of Yuri regarding his personal life, or ending up at a temple like that one time with Yurio. You always had to be on your toes when Victor was the guide. 

“Nothing too exciting, don’t sound so worried,” Victor answered with a smile. Seeing that this response just sent Yuri deeper into his thoughts, Victor sighed. “We’re going to the public skating rink.” Yuri looked up curiously. “We’re going… where?” he asked. What purpose could they have at the rink? He knew Victor had said no training, but still, what good would a public rink do?  
“The public rink Yuri. Surely you know what I’m talking about?” Victor said with a smirk. Going to a casual rink and just wandering around wasn’t exactly the most fun thing to do, but it would work very well for what Victor intended to do today. It wasn’t quite light outside yet and the lights that had been strung up throughout Hasetsu were still glowing. It was a perfect time to take Yuri out to relax a little.

When they finally arrived, there were already a few people at the rink, most of which were children who didn’t have school that morning. Yuri watched them laughing, racing each other across the ice and remembered all of the times he and Yuuko had come here as children. He smiled at the memories. They used to pretend that they were skating with Victor, imagining him as the fastest and best skater on the rink. Of course, being the best figure skater in the world didn’t mean that he was the fastest, but it was fun to imagine it.

“Yuko and I used to come here a lot when we were younger. I honestly forgot that it was here though. It’s strange.” Yuri said, eyes still locked on the kids who were now trying to see who could stay on one foot the longest. He shivered as the wind seemed to pick up. Now that he thought of it, it would have been nice if he’d brought a jacket with him.

As if Victor was reading Yuri’s mind, he took off his jacket and draped it around the younger man’s shoulders. “You could have told me you were cold you know” he said jokingly before returning to seriousness. “Do you know why we’re here Yuri?” he asked, pausing only for a second before adding, “Watch the kids. Do you see them, playing, laughing?” This time he waited for Yuri to answer.

“Of course I see them” Yuri thought to himself. They were loud and spirited, capturing the gaze of anyone who walked by. But instead of saying that, he just nodded. “Good” Victor said. “I brought you here because I wanted you to remember what it was like to skate without a care in the world. Yuuko said you used to come here a lot and play games together. I want you to remember that feeling when you skate in the upcoming weeks. The pressure is going to be high, and I’m willing to bet that you’ll get stressed out very easily. I want you to remember what it was like to skate as a child with dreams rather than as an adult with responsibilities. It’ll help, I promise.”

It was starting to make sense now. Yuri did put a lot of pressure on himself, especially while training for major events. He couldn’t help it. There was always so much to improve on before the competitions and never enough time to make all of it work out perfectly. “So… you’re saying I need to have more fun when I skate? I already love it more than anything else, I’m not sure what else I can do.” Yuri said, not fully understanding yet.

“I know that you love it Yuri. Anyone who has ever watched you set foot on the ice knows that you love it. What they don’t see is how happy it makes you. You put so much pressure on yourself and then block out the rest of the world, so all we see is your reaction. We don’t know what you’re really thinking about. I’m not asking you to change your work ethic or motivation. I’m asking you to remember why you started loving it in the first place.”

Yuri dropped his head and looked at his shoes, kicking the pavement lazily, trying to find the right words to say. Doesn’t Victor realize how important he was in that love? Yuri had never really mentioned it because he was sure that Victor would think he was a stalker, or in the very least, creepy. “Screw it” he thought. “You named your dog after this man. He has a right to know that he was an influence in your life.”

He took a deep breath. “Victor, you know that you are a big part of that love, right? Yuuko and I didn’t just train together, we were best friends both on and off the ice. A lot of our time together was spent looking up to you, watching your videos, trying to replicate your choreography. Of course, we weren’t all that good at it then, but we tried” Yuri said laughing. It was funny how even just talking about this made him feel lighter. The pressure of the Grand Prix Final felt far away right now and it was easy to remember some of his first years on the ice. 

Victor could see the change in Yuri the more he talked about his earlier years on the ice. He smiled, watching as Yuri’s eyes lit up when he remembered certain things, or how serious he got when talking about the time they almost got kicked out of the training rink. “We weren’t really supposed to be there you see, but you had just finished your short program at a qualifying event and we couldn’t wait for the next day to practice our programs too. When they called security, we thought for sure we were going to get in trouble, but they knew us well and only told us that if we did it again they’d call our parents. I was terrified to go back for days, even when we were allowed, but Yuuko convinced me. Besides, I couldn’t have stayed away for too long if I tried at that point.”

After several minutes of Yuri talking about his memories with Yuuko, he paused. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to ramble. I didn’t realize I had forgotten about so many fun times.” Victor moved to hug the younger man close. “I don’t mind Yuri. This is what we came here for remember? I love hearing your stories anyway. You lose the wall that you put up around people, and I can see how happy you are.” And it was true. When Yuri was quiet and thinking about something, it was almost like there was another version of him hiding somewhere behind the mask of indifference and seriousness. But once he started talking, he lit up, smiling wider than usual, his body held more loosely.

“We should go home now Yuri. It’s going to start to get busy soon, and I want you to spend the day inside, where it’s warm. Maybe even go to the onsen for a little while, just to loosen up and get ready to get back into training tomorrow. I have a few errands to run, but I’ll be back before too long, okay?” The sun was up fully now and the town was starting to get busy. They walked back to the Inn, chatting easily about the kids that they had watched playing this morning. 

***  
The next morning, Yuri felt better than he’d felt in days, realizing that he actually had needed that day off. As he walked downstairs, he noticed that Victor and his mother were talking seriously in the kitchen. Hiroko noticed Yuri standing in the doorway, and broke off in the middle of her sentence. “Oh Yuri” she says worriedly, wrapping him in a hug, “why didn’t you tell us you were hurting?”

Yuri glared at Victor over his mother’s shoulder, wondering why it had even come up. It’s not like there was anything wrong with it as far as they knew anyway. “It’s fine mom really. My back was just bothering me some and Victor wanted to make sure that everything was okay.” He stepped back from the embrace, and smiled weakly, trying to seem more confident than he actually was. Of course, it was only yesterday that he could be happy and confident. But now, it was back to training, where everything was stress and pressure and making sure that every little thing was perfect, including his health. 

“Well, you have to let me know if something happens to you Yuri! I’m your mother after all, I get worried” she fusses, straightening out the wrinkles on his shirt. “But Victor says that you’ve got training today, so I should finish cooking your breakfast and let you get ready!” And just like that, Hiroko was back at the stove as though nothing had ever happened, confident that her son would tell her if something really was wrong. 

Victor made a point of walking into the hallway, very aware of the fact that Yuri followed him out. “You didn’t have to go and talk to her Victor. We don’t even know that anything is wrong with it!” Yuri said angrily, walking faster so that he could catch up with Victor. “She’s going to worry now. I can’t- it’s just- “ Yuri stopped talking, exchanging words for a noise of exasperation. Noticing Victor’s silence, he paused. “We don’t know that anything is wrong with it, right?” he inquired. It was unlike Victor to be so quiet during one of Yuri’s outbursts.

“Yuri one of my errands yesterday was sending your images to a doctor. Petr sent me a copy after you received them in Russia. Rather than asking you to find someone, because I knew it would stress you out, I asked your mother to. That’s why she had to know. And that’s why we went to the rink yesterday.” Victor said, still not answering Yuri’s question.

“Okay great, but is there or is there not something wrong?” Yuri asked again, more frustrated this time. “He’s dodging the question” he thought to himself, noticing that he and Victor had yet to make eye contact since entering the hallway.

“You have an appointment at eleven. It’s nine thirty now, so we’re just going to stretch and do basic laps until then. Don’t argue with me Yuri. Your health comes before your training.” Victor answered charismatically, although his smile fell flat. It was forced and Yuri could tell that he wasn’t the only one frustrated by the situation. He nodded and went back to getting ready to go to the rink that morning. “At least he’s not making me take the full day off” he thought to himself. 

When they arrived at the rink nearly half an hour later, Yuri immediately rolled out his mat and began to stretch. At this rate, he wouldn’t have time to touch the ice before they had to leave for the appointment. Victor seemed to realize this as well and led Yuri through a more rigorous stretching routine than usual. As they sat together on the cold floor and leaned forward in a straddle position, Victor looked up and grinned. He scooted forward so that their faces were close together. “You know” he said quietly, “I haven’t kissed you in nearly three days now. That seems like a scandal as far as I’m concerned.”

Yuri smiled back, not so willing to give in to this good mood. “Maybe you should save your kiss for good luck before the appointment. Based on our conversation from earlier, I feel like I’m going to need it.” He said, an edge creeping into his voice. He didn’t mean for it to come out so harshly, but he was still uneasy after this morning.

“Come now Yuri, you can’t be serious. I’m only trying to look out for you” Victor pouted. Usually Yuri was okay with any sort of affection, so this was unusual. “I don’t really know what they’re going to say any more than you do after all.” He continued, looking pleadingly into the other man’s brown eyes. Yuri sat up, shaking his legs out as the smile on his face grew wider. He could turn this into a teasing game very easily if he wanted to. “I don’t know Victor. It seems like you’re just trying to catch me in a better mood so that I stop being mad at you for this morning.”

Victor sat up, gasping in mock horror. “You’re holding it against me? I guess I don’t want to kiss you then after all.” He stood up, retrieving his mat from the ground and rolling it back up. “We have to leave soon anyway or we’ll be late.” Yuri’s face fell. It went from being a game to business again in a matter of seconds. He was beginning to feel nervous, wondering what this appointment actually had in store for him. “You’re right, we’d better get going. I’d like to get this over with as soon as possible so that we can come back and train in the afternoon.”

***  
When they finally reached the office, it didn’t take long for Yuri to be called back to see the doctor. “Do you want me to go with you?” Victor offered, unsure of whether or not Yuri would want someone to keep him company or not. Yuri hesitated before nodding his head and following the nurse back to a room at the end of the hallway. 

When they walked in the room, Yuri realized that it looked just like a regular doctor’s office, even though he was seeing a spine specialist. There was a table covered in thin paper on one side of the room, a chair in the corner, a random rolling stool, and a counter top that was surrounded by cabinets. All in all, it was extremely ordinary, apart from the bendable spine model that was sitting on the counter. Victor chose to sit in the chair by the wall, while Yuri stood awkwardly beside him.

“Alright Yuri, I just need you to answer a few questions before we can get the doctor in here, okay?” Yuri agreed and answered the same set of questions that he’d been asked both by Petr and the papers at the hospital. It was becoming tedious, answering all of these questions over and over again. He looked over at the table, wondering if he was supposed to sit on it, but decided against the idea. It seemed so unwelcoming anyway.

Victor looked up, noticing that Yuri was fidgeting, bending his knees one at a time as though he were cold or dancing. When he opened his mouth to ask if he was feeling alright, there was a knock on the door and the doctor walked in. Yuri’s head immediately snapped up and his body straightened. He was nervous, that much was obvious now. “Hello Yuri” the doctor said, introducing himself. “I received some X-Ray images yesterday and I’d like to go over them with you. First, I must ask, are you having any pain right now?”

Yuri hesitated before nodding his head. Over the past few days the pain had become constant, although it was usually more of an ache than anything. He could ignore it easily if he tried. “It’s not so bad right now. More sore than anything I’d say.” He answered quickly. The doctor nodded, taking note of something in the folder he was holding. “Well then, Yuri I’ve looked over your scans and I’ve found some things that concern me. It appears as though your body has been under a great deal of stress in the past several weeks, am I wrong?” Yuri shook his head no, looking to Victor for some sort of assistance, He could feel the panic rising in his chest and fought hard to keep his breathing even. He was fine. It was just a muscle ache or a minor strain. 

“Based on the images, I believe that you’ve got three fractures running through the vertebrate between the L-3 and S-1 bones. That means that the lower bones of you back have cracked, which is causing you pain.” Yuri’s eyes widened at the thought of having broken something. Sure, he was pretty sure he’d broken a toe or two before, but nothing this serious. 

“Can I still skate in the Finals?” he asked quietly. It was the only clear thought he could produce at the moment. Victor looked up at him, worried that he was going to fall into panic. The doctor looked again at the scans before answering. “You could try to continue training for the next several weeks, as long as your pain level doesn’t increase too much. This isn’t something that needs surgery to be corrected, and it’s an injury that’s likely to come back after it heals, but it can become very painful Yuri. How you deal with it at this point is up to you, but I would recommend wearing a brace when you’re not training. I can send someone to see you after I leave if you’re interested.”

This time, it was Victor who answered. “He’ll wear the brace. You’re not going to get him off the ice, not at this time of year.” He looked pointedly up at Yuri as if to say, “you can choose one or the other.” Yuri nodded slightly, agreeing that he’d rather be permitted to skate than be free of a brace and stuck at home during finals. “Wait, before you go, how long do you think it will take to heal?” Yuri asked. He’d have some time off after the Finals before he had to start training for world championships.

The doctor looked up from the form he was signing and frowned. “It’s probably going to take around four to six weeks, but in some people who stay active it can take upwards of three months.” Yuri shivered. Three months was a lot of lost time in the world of skating. “I’ll send someone in, just wait here” the doctor said one final time before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

“Victor, I can still skate at the Grand Prix Finals. Surely it’s not that bad then, right?” Victor only shook his head. “Yuri, you heard what he said. It’s going to hurt a lot worse if you keep skating. Your body is important. If you push it too far, it may never recover. You don’t want that.” Yuri looked at his coach in disbelief. “It’s not going to hurt forever Victor. He said it could take three months, and sure that’s a long time, but it’s not forever. Besides, I’ll be wearing that brace or whatever while I’m not training and that should help with it right?” Victor took a breath before standing up and smiling at Yuri. “We’ll figure it out no matter what. I promise. But for today, we’re only working performance. No jumps when we go to the rink. You’re still tired and I want you to be in the best shape you can be when it comes time for the competition okay?”

Yuri frowned for a moment, but quickly gave in. “Tomorrow you’re letting me do a full program at least. I need to keep my strength up.” He said. Victor nodded in agreement. “Tomorrow you can do a full program.” Then, the mischievous look came back into Victor’s eyes. “I’ve never kissed anyone in a doctor’s office, have you?” Yuri shoved his shoulder playfully. “No Victor, I haven’t. And we’re not going to” he said with finality. Victor sighed as a woman came in with a brace wrapped in a plastic bag. “Here you are Mr. Katsuki. The instructions are inside of the bag with the actual brace. You’re free to go now. I hope you start feeling better soon!”

Victor took the bag from the woman and thanked her politely before unwrapping the plastic. “Look Yuri, it’s black, just like your Eros costume!” He said, trying to be cheerful. It was hard to maintain that composure when Yuri realized that the monster stretched all the way from his hips to his ribs and was so stiff that he wasn’t able to bend in it. As he wrapped it behind him and attached the Velcro in front, he immediately felt constricted. Victor helped him to pull his shirt down over it and smiled once they were done. “There!” he said proudly. “Now your already perfect posture will stay fantastic all day long!” Yuri rolled his eyes. It was going to be a long several weeks.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little NSFW and there's feels and there's injuries and man I think I just made a chapter of literally everything ever

“Chest up!” Victor called across the rink as Yuri took off for the first jump in a combination. He’d been working on keeping his body straight in the air so that his balance wasn’t off for the combination, but on this jump he’d leaned forward a bit, causing him to be slightly off on the landing. It was the second free skate program in a row and he could feel his body growing tired. Usually he’d take a minute or two break between each run-through of his program but because he was so focused on increasing the difficulty of his programs, he and Victor had decided to do back to back programs today. 

Yuri said nothing in response to his coach, focusing mainly on the footwork going into his second jump and tightening his body so that it stayed straight in the air. “Better!” He heard Victor call. A rush of satisfaction went through him. There was a sense of pride that came with being able to listen to and apply the corrections a coach gave. It was just one of the many small rewards of skating. Yuri finished the rest of this program with only minor mistakes, only dragging a hand on the quad flip at the end. Aside from that, there were a few form breaks that he’d have to focus on in the next run through, but he was happy with the turnout for this turn.

Yuri skated over to the edge of the rink, watching Victor’s expressions carefully as the older man reviewed the program on the camera. They often taped his training sessions so that they could go over them later and find pieces to correct in the next workout. Sometimes these video reviews were stressful when they watched Yuri try again and again to correct something only to improve in minimal amounts, if anything, but today Victor seemed happy with their results.

“We’ll watch more later, but for now I want you to watch this combination. Do you see how far down your chest was in the first jump?” He asked pointing to the screen where Yuri seemed to be leaning forward. Yuri nodded trying to remember what his body felt like in that particular moment. “I relaxed too much going into it. I was too focused on getting rotation and didn’t think enough about form” He answered, correcting himself in the process. Victor nodded. “It’s good that you can feel that. Awareness of your body is just as important as anything else, especially when you’re going into combinations. Look at the second one now. See how you corrected your position and pulled your shoulders back so that you were standing taller on take-off? That’s what we want in the first one too.”

Yuri nodded, carefully visualizing what the jump should both look and feel like. It was getting easier to imagine every improvement with each passing day. There was only one more week until they left for the Grand Prix Final and every second of practice counted. He ignored the throbbing pain in his back and prepared to go through the choreography one final time for today. They’d already been training for three and half hours, plus he promised Minako he’d go to the studio later for extra practice.

The doctor had been right, the pain was getting worse but it wasn’t anything Yuri couldn’t handle. He had always had a relatively high pain tolerance anyway. It didn’t used to hurt so much during actual skating but now, every jump he landed sent jolting pain into his spine and hip and it was becoming more and more difficult to stretch the pain away. “I’m not going to let anything stand in my way” he thought to himself as he ran through the program. “Victor has been working so hard to get me here and I’ve been doing my best as well. There’s no way I can fail now.” The more confident he was in his mind, the better the program went. By the end, his jumps looked cleaner than they had all day despite it being the end of the session. When he finished in his ending pose, he noticed Victor smiling at him. 

“That’s good Yuri. We’ll look over all of the videos tonight after we go to Minako’s and finish our evening workout.” Yuri nodded, gliding towards the opening in the wall. “Are you ready for next week?” Victor asked, handing Yuri his blade protectors. Yuri didn’t answer, focusing on untying his skates for a moment before saying “I don’t know that I’ll ever be _ready_ really. I just hope that when the time comes, I’ll be able to do well enough to achieve our goals.” Victor tilted his head, offering a hand when Yuri stood up again. It was a good answer considering Yuri would usually answer with something much more negative, but it still wasn’t the confidence that Victor was looking for. They’d have to keep working on that throughout the upcoming week.

For now, though, it was time to head back home to change. As the two men finished gathering their things and began the trip home, Victor looked out over the bridge at the sea. It reminded him of Saint Petersburg, with the birds and the ships passing by. He had been feeling so nostalgic these last several weeks, and it was only getting stronger as the Grand Prix Final approached. This was the first time in years that he hadn’t competed in a single event, let alone won anything and he wasn’t used to feeling so… alone. 

Of course, there was the loneliness of being the best in the world, when he had never truly had many friends and he couldn’t go out and fall in love like most people his age, but he had his skating and the support of his coach. That was enough for a long time. But now there were so many feelings that he wasn’t sure how to express out loud. He was still wrapped up in the world of skating, but a piece of him was still out on the ice. He hadn’t needed anyone when he skated because when he put his entire self into his sport, there was no room for anything else. He was fulfilled, in a sense. Now, he had Yuri and that was wonderful, amazing, fantastic, just about any word that expresses joy and awe in the dictionary. But that piece of him was still out there, skating for the world. He missed it dearly. 

“You look so sad today, Victor. I couldn’t figure out what it was this morning, but I knew you were off. Now I know. It’s sadness” Yuri said quietly, taking Victor’s hand in his own. “You can tell me anything, you know.” He added, hoping that Victor would open up just a little bit. Victor smiled and looked down as they walked before flipping his hair and giving Yuri his typical Victor Nikiforov smile. “Now’s not the time for you to be worrying about me, Yuri. If I were you, I’d be worrying about the day that Minako’s planned!”

Yuri only shook his head. How could he _do_ that? Just flip his hair and change his entire demeanor in a second. It was astounding and incredibly frustrating at times. “You could just answer things for once instead of distracting away from them you know?” Yuri mumbled. Victor’s smile seemed to freeze on his face, as he processed Yuri’s disappointment. And then, slowly, it relaxed into Victor’s usual thinking face, eyes squinted slightly, lips pressed together and his gaze focused in the distance. 

“I was thinking of the birds in Saint Petersburg. The ones here in Hasetsu reminded me of them.” Yuri looked to the sky, noticing that there were, in fact, several seagulls flying over the bridge. It made sense. Victor had spent most of his life around the sea and while Hasetsu was near the ocean, it wasn’t the bustling port that Victor was used to. Satisfied that Victor had at least given him some sort of answer, Yuri squeezed the other man’s hand, trying to signal that he could let the conversation drop if he wanted. There was no reason to push the issue further unless Victor wanted to at this point. 

Victor did not want to. He changed the tone from the birds to the weather and then to their travel plans. “So, we’ll get to Barcelona two days before the competition. Official training begins the day before, but I want you to get used to the time change and spend some time getting used to the locations of places, because even though everything is fairly close together, it’s going to be very busy. On the second day that we’re there, we’re only going to do one three hour training session on the ice which should be enough for you to get used to the rink. Then we’ll go and stretch out in after lunch and the evening will be free for you to rest. The following day is the short program and then the final day is the free skate. Afterwards is the gala and then the banquet. Then we go home. Sound good?”

Yuri listened intently to the first part of the short speech but quickly got lost as Victor began speaking faster. “Yeah that sounds like a plan” he said, hoping he wasn’t agreeing to anything too crazy. 

When they arrived home, Yuri quickly walked to his room, dropping his skating bag by the door. He reached down to untie his shoes but quickly stopped, feeling the pain in his back increase briefly from moving too fast. He sighed. This injury was becoming more and more strenuous with each day and he was worried that it would get much worse before the final even happened. It had already been over a month since the fall that caused it but the stress of the last few weeks had caused the pain to increase greatly. Slowly he bent down to untie his shoes and place them next to his back. When he stood up again, he was careful not to move too fast, putting a hand on his desk to brace himself. When he was finally standing upright again, he became aware of the looming presence behind him.

“Victor, how long have you been standing there” he muttered, realizing that he was probably going to get a lecture for not telling his coach that he had been hurting worse than usual again today. It had become a bit of a habit in the morning for Victor to ask Yuri during stretch “How’s the back” and Yuri would always answer with “Fine” or something equally flippant and non-descriptive. 

“Long enough” Victor answered with a sigh, reaching forward to wrap his hands around Yuri’s hips, kneading his thumbs into the muscle on either side of his spine. “You should have told me that you were hurting today you know.” His voice was laced with concern. “We would have done fewer programs, or at least not done them back to back.” Yuri groaned. “Victor that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. Every time I answer honestly, you make me back down my training. It doesn’t help to slow down when what is potentially the last competition of my career is coming up.”

He still hadn’t officially made a decision, but Yuri was almost positive that he would be leaving the competitive skating world for good after this. Especially if this injury were to persist. He wouldn’t be able to take time off and it would only keep getting worse. 

Victor stepped forward, closing the gap between himself and Yuri, still rubbing small circles with his thumbs. “Well, maybe it’s a good idea to save your strength for the final. Right now, your body is only getting worse as the days go on. Performance wise, you could very easily win if you do your programs the way that you’ve been in practice. You said you wanted to add the quad flip to the short program as well, right? That’s going to take a lot more energy and I don’t want you hurting yourself even more now.”

Yuri relaxed a little, leaning his head back onto Victor. “I just don’t want to lose this chance Victor. I promised you a gold medal. I promised everyone a gold medal actually. I can’t back down now just because it kind of hurts to do things.” Victor let go of his waist and wrapped his arms around Yuri instead, leaning his head on the younger man’s shoulder. 

“No one thinks you’re backing down Yuri. You’ve been competing for as long as anyone can remember. They wouldn’t think any less of you if you took it easier in training to save yourself for the big competition. And if they did have something to say about it, then they’d have to go through me first! How about that?” Yuri laughed. The thought of someone confronting Victor was such a strange idea. 

“And now that you’re in a better mood, I thought I’d inform you that we’re not going to be training with Minako today! You’re getting the rest of the day to recover!” Victor exclaimed as though he’d just had the greatest idea in the world. He stepped back and let go of Yuri, who had gone from laughing to glaring in a matter of seconds. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve reserved one of the baths in the Onsen so that you don’t have to worry about anyone else being there! Well, except me of course. You know how I love the baths here.”

Yuri only shook his head, a small, sad, smile forming on his lips. He should have known that opening up to Victor would lead to taking the rest of the day off. That’s what always happened. “I told you. It happens every time.”

Victor smiled. “I know. But I’m trying to help you Yuri. You’re going to do fine at the Finals.” He paused putting a finger to his lips. “There was a phrase Yakov used to share with me every time he thought I was doing something stupid. It was something along the lines of ‘Smart is better than heart so you don’t end up with… bad heart… or something.’ I don’t know. It rhymed. But basically, if you overdo it because you’re working for your goals, you’ll never make them because you weren’t doing it smartly.” He seemed proud of himself for remembering such wise advice and Yuri had to laugh again.

“I’ll remember that for next time then.” He walked over to his drawers and pulled out the clothes he was going to change into after going to the baths. “Well, let’s get going then.” He grabbed a towel off a hanger in the closet before walking out the door, Victor following close behind him.

Once they had gotten down to the baths, Victor had immediately gone through the door while Yuri had stopped in the bathroom to change. He wrapped a towel around his waist and folded his clothes neatly, carrying the pile to the Onsen with him. Noting that Victor was still clothed, he looked around curiously before realizing a small athletic table had been set up. Yuri cautiously placed his clothing on a chair with his shoes before turning to Victor. “What exactly did we come down here for again?” he asked. 

Victor smiled widely. It was the same smile that was on all of the posters hidden under Yuri’s bed and he felt his heart melt a little knowing that this man was in love with him. He quickly un-melted once Victor started talking though. “I called Petr to see if there was anything we could do to help your back out! He said that maybe we should try a massage, and I thought, well, we have the bath to ourselves and I have a table in my room. Let’s try it! What do you think?” Victor tilted his head slightly, still grinning.

Yuri tensed, clutching the towel even tighter now. “I don’t really do the whole…. Contact thing. If you hadn’t noticed” He whispered. It was true. Part of the reason he and Victor hadn’t slept in the same bed yet was because Yuri had issues with prolonged contact. Even earlier, when Victor had been hugging him from behind, Yuri struggled to keep himself totally relaxed and calm. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be near the other man, he just had a hard time dealing with people being so near. 

“That’s okay! I’ll turn music on and you can focus on that. But we really should try this if it’s going to help. That way you’ll feel better for tomorrows training, right? Come over here and lay down.” Noticing that Yuri still had a look of apprehension on his face, Victor walked over and put his hands on the younger man’s shoulders, guiding him towards the table. As Yuri climbed onto the cushioned surface, he struggled to keep a tight grip around the towel at his waist. 

“Yuri, you’re laying down on your stomach. The towel isn’t going to go anywhere.” Victor chuckled. Yuri had been so self-conscious since he’d lost all of that weight at the beginning of the season. He had no reason to be of course, but that sentiment was lost on the black-haired man. Victor unlocked his phone, choosing a playlist of classical music before spreading oil on his hands. “Relax my Yuri. Move your hands somewhere comfortable, not all tucked up underneath you. It’ll be better, I promise.” Yuri did as he was told and moved himself gently, so as not to disturb his towel, and folded his arms under his head. Once he was settled, Victor began to press his hands into Yuri’s shoulders, kneading tense muscles, trying to soothe any aches that were there. 

As the minutes passed, Yuri found that it was easier to just breathe and let his body relax into the table. Victor’s hands worked slowly, but with a good deal of pressure and for a moment, Yuri feared that he would leave the bath sorer than when he came. But as he worked to relax, he could feel that Victor’s efforts actually were making a difference. The soreness that had been building in the past several weeks was melting away with every touch. Yuri let out a contented sigh, amazed at how easy it was for Victor to make him feel better. 

He felt the hands travel further and further down his back, pushing into the muscle and tissue, leaving a trail of warmth behind them. He had gotten so lost in thought that he didn’t even notice when Victor took his hands away. That was, of course, until he felt the towel moving from underneath him. 

Yuri’s hands instantly moved down to grip the edge of the towel. “Wh-what are you doing now?” He asked his voice cracking with panic. He turned his head, expecting to see Victor laughing and flirting, but was met with a calm seriousness instead. “I was going to massage your lower back, glutes and hip, but if you’d rather I didn’t, I could just skip that part.” He offered, although he didn’t sound too thrilled about it. Yuri paused, thinking of how uncomfortable it would be if he were naked with Victor running his hands over his body. Not that he didn’t want that, but in this context… well, he didn’t know how well he’d be able to control himself.

 

“Yuri, let me take care of you. Please, you’ve been working so hard and you’re doing so well. You deserve this.” Victor said in a soothing voice. Yuri bit his lip, reluctantly easing his grip on the towel. “There you go, just relax.” Slowly, Yuri brought his hands back to rest underneath his head. He felt a stirring in his stomach at the gentleness and praise. Victor went back to moving the towel from his waist, folding it and putting it by Yuri’s head at the front of the table. 

Yuri was painfully aware of the fact that he was naked now and even more aware of the fact that Victor’s fingers were going increasingly lower on his body. As fingers kneaded tight glute muscles into a more pliable and relaxed state, Yuri could feel himself becoming quite the opposite in another part of his body. He shifted on the table, hoping to ease some of the discomfort and wishing that he could magically make his excitement disappear. 

Victor smiled slightly, noticing the younger man squirming underneath him. It wasn’t an unusual reaction, but he knew that Yuri would be embarrassed. “Yuri, do I need to stop?” He asked calmly, a trace of amusement in his voice. Yuri managed to stammer “n-no it’s f-fine.” He felt the blood rush to his face. Victor knew exactly what he was doing right now, and Yuri didn’t expect him to back down anytime soon. As Victor’s hands moved to the inside of his thighs, Yuri’s head dropped from resting on his hands to face down on the table. He was unable to hide his very obvious reaction now and he wanted nothing more than to make a run for it back to his room. Of course, that wouldn’t work because he’d have to stand up first….

Victor continued working his way down Yuri’s legs, pressing into the strong calf muscles and finally the soles of his feet. During this time, Yuri had managed to get himself under control at least a little bit, but not fully, and he nearly had a heart attack when Victor told him to roll over. “I-uh… can’t I just… stay here?” He asked lamely, knowing that Victor knew what he was trying to avoid.

Victor smiled and put his hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “But Yuri? Don’t you have muscles in the front of your body too?” He asked with a fake innocence that made Yuri want to sprint from the room. “Um, no. Not today?” He answered, hoping that Victor would just drop the subject.

But of course, it was not meant to be. Victor was stronger than Yuri was and easily flipped him over, only for Yuri to sit up quickly, trying to hide himself from Victor’s gaze. “I’m sorry” he nearly squeaked as he closed his eyes tightly. He felt the padded top of the table shift as Victor sat down on the edge beside him. “Yuri, look at me” he coaxed, placing his hand on Yuri’s thigh. “Come on, it’s okay. I promise.”

Slowly, Yuri opened his eyes again, still not quite willing to meet Victor’s blue ones with his own. “I didn’t mean to” he said still trying to apologize for his body’s reaction. Victor laughed. “Yuri I know you didn’t _try_ to. If I know you, you’re wishing you were a million miles away right now. But here’s the thing. I don’t mind even a little bit. Actually, I think you’re kind of cute sitting here with this adorable blush on your face.”

This only made Yuri’s cheeks redder, and yet, his body continued to betray him. He brought his gaze up to meet Victor’s, trying to reassure himself that Victor wasn’t just messing with him. When he was sure that he was being completely honest he carefully moved his hands, and reached his arms out towards Victor. “Will you kiss me then?” Victor smiled and leaned forwards into Yuri’s arms, pressing their lips together very carefully. “I can help you take care of that too, if you’d like,” he whispered referring to Yuri’s still very erect self. 

Yuri held his breath for a second, trying to make a decision quickly. “He’s already seen me naked, and we’re in love with each other. I guess it couldn’t really be a bad thing” he thought to himself before nodding slightly. “Okay,” he whispered. Victor moved away from the kiss for just a second, his eyes conveying so much love and joy that you would think he’d just received the greatest gift in the world. “Just relax Yuri, I’ll take care of you” Using one hand to cradle Yuri’s head, Victor kissed him again, more deeply this time. The other hand moved slowly down his torso, stopping just below his belly button. “Let me know if you want to stop” he whispered, waiting for Yuri to nod before gently spreading his legs apart with his hand.

Instead of reaching for his dick like Yuri expected, he felt a warm and oiled finger prodding his entrance. He tensed, unsure of how this worked. He’d never put anything down there himself, not even a finger so having Victor in such an intimate space was…. Well, a little bit scary to be honest. “You okay?” Victor asked gently, pulling back slightly, his eyes full of concern. Yuri hesitated before answering “I just… don’t really know what to do. I’m nervous” he admitted shyly. Victor tilted his head, smiling just a bit. “Try to relax, it’ll make it easier I promise. Focus on the kiss and the rest will come easily. Most people think it feels good” He said, trying to explain it to Yuri. They spent another second frozen like that, staring into one another’s eyes waiting for Yuri to make a decision. Finally, he took a deep breath and said “I trust you” before leaning into the kiss again. Victor gently continued with his ministrations, pushing his finger gently into the opening, pausing each time he felt Yuri tense up. By the time his finger was inserted the whole way, Yuri was much more excited, breathing heavily now. “You’re doing so good my Yuri” Victor whispered as he began moving his finger in and out. It didn’t take long for Yuri to be ready for a second finger and though the stretch was unpleasant at first, Yuri quickly adapted. He groaned into the other man’s mouth as Victor found that critical spot, making him see stars. “Victor I can’t-“ His words cut off as Victor pressed his fingers in again. “It’s okay Yuri, go ahead.” 

It took only a few more seconds before Yuri came then for the first time by Victor’s hand. As he laid on the table, he could feel exhaustion sweeping over him and Victor used the towel to clean him up. “Come on Yuri, let’s get you into the bath then. You can go to your bed afterwards if that’s what you want.” Yuri nodded and stood up on shaky legs before walking over to the bath. Moments later Victor got in beside him. “Feel better?” He asked. Yuri nodded and scooted closer to the Russian, leaning his head on the older man’s shoulder. 

The rest of the day went normally, with the exception of a lack of training. They ate dinner and played with Makkachin, not mentioning earlier at all. It wasn’t until they were getting ready for bed that anything changed. Yuri looked to Victor before walking into his room. “Can I sleep with you tonight?” he asked. “I’ve been thinking about it for weeks. I don’t want to be alone anymore. Being apart from you for one day in Russia felt like I’d lost a part of myself. I don’t want to feel that anymore.” Victor stepped forward and wrapped Yuri in his arms. “I thought you’d never ask”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh this chapter is so short. I couldn't really find the inspiration for it, especially with being so busy with the holidays.   
> I already have a plan for the next chapter, so it should be up in the next few days and should be much much better than this one.  
> Anyway, happy reading!

“Worthless” Yuri’s mind sneered at him as he fell on another jump, his hip crashing onto the ice for what felt like the millionth time today.   
“Failure” It said as he made a minor mistake on his step sequence again.  
“Absolutely disgusting” Another fallen jump  
“Can’t even overcome a little bit of pain” His body crumpled from the stabbing sensation in his back as his feet met the ice after a triple flip.

Each time he fell, Yuri forced himself to get back up again, his body screaming in protest. Every movement sent pain like a shockwave through his hips and his spine, and he was forced to take several breaks during the session. He pushed himself to ignore the thoughts that were so heavy in his mind, tried to ignore the physical pain that sometimes made it feel impossible to get out of bed in the morning. There were days now where he felt like he had nothing left. He wanted nothing more than to skate, but his body was betraying him, taking away the one thing he had loved since he was a child. 

There were very few good days. The only time Yuri’s body stopped hurting was when he was sleeping, but even then the pain haunted his dreams. He would toss and turn, often waking himself or Victor as he tried to find a more comfortable position, only to move around again ten minutes later. Victor tried to be patient with him, but Yuri could tell that it was becoming too much. Their relationship was straining, not as lovers but as coach and athlete. Victor would push for Yuri to take it easy when he was obviously struggling to walk on some days, but Yuri would ignore him and push himself harder than ever before. This of course, only made the pain worse and Victor would try to lecture him about it, or ask him questions to figure out how to help, but Yuri eventually stopped answering.

Today of course, was no different. Yuri fell again, ignoring the demons in his mind and prepared to get up and try the combination yet another time but Victor stopped him. “Yuri, stop for a minute. We need to talk about something.” His words came out with an edge and voice sounded tired, almost disappointed. Yuri sighed and skated over to where his coach had been gliding slowly on the ice. He stared at the ice, preparing for another talk about how he should listen to his body more. It was becoming a staple in their training sessions and he could nearly recite it word for word at this point. But he was surprised when Victor’s tone changed and the conversation took a different direction today.

“Yuri, can you do your free program today? If it hurts too much, I don’t want you to, but if you think that you can, it’s a good idea.” Yuri almost answered that he could with no hesitation but the way that Victor had asked made him pause. He wasn’t asking angrily. He didn’t even sound frustrated. Instead, there was a patience that he hadn’t heard in weeks. Yuri thought about what he’d done so far today, all of the times that he’d fallen, and how hard it was to get back up again.

“I-I don’t know.” He answered, still staring down at his skates. Victor tilted his head, trying to find a way to make more sense of things for Yuri. “You don’t know because it hurts, or because you’re tired, or is it something else? What’s on your mind?” Again, there was patience. Yuri felt a warmth flooding over him, realizing that Victor wasn’t actually disappointed in him for hurting. In fact, he wasn’t disappointed in Yuri at all. He was upset with the situation, sure, but his frustration didn’t lie in the fact that Yuri was injured. 

Yuri took a deep breath. “I just don’t know. I mean, it hurts and I keep falling but I really want to keep working because there’s not enough time now you know? And if I keep falling now then I’m going to keep falling during the Finals and it’s just going to end up like last year again, except this time it’s going to hurt so badly when I fall that I’m scared I won’t be able to get up again so easily.”

There it was, all out in the open. The fear of the pain that had begun to consume his life. His eyes filled with tears, and his hands began fidgeting, pulling one finger out of the gloves at a time before pulling them back on and starting again. His legs felt shaky and his breathing was so uneven. He couldn’t bring himself to look up at Victor when the older man began to speak. He hadn’t meant to say so much. He didn’t even know half of what he had said, his mind was in such a panic. 

Victor reached out and put a comforting hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “Yuri, if you can’t do it it’s okay. I just thought I’d ask because I know that you’re worried about this weekend. If your body can’t do it today, then that’s fine.” He was trying to be encouraging and supportive, but could see that Yuri was only getting more stressed out with each word. “Yuri, let’s think of it this way. Can you seriously do eight more jumps if I asked you to? What would your answer be?” 

Yuri only shook his head. “I-I don’t think I’d make eight. I could make maybe four or five? So, I could do the program without any combinations maybe? But then it wouldn’t really be the program…” he trailed off, trying to find another way to make it through. Victor only stepped closer, wrapping his arm around Yuri’s shoulder and holding him close. “Then we won’t do it. It’s not a problem Yuri. We’ll call it a day then and focus more on it tomorrow.”

Yuri frowned and looked up at Victor. “I don’t want to keep disappointing you though. We keep having to walk away from practice because I can’t handle it. It’s becoming a big deal considering you came here just to coach me and now you can’t even do that half the time because I can’t train. It’s not fair to you.” He said sadly. Victor’s gaze softened from his usual stern but kind coaching face. Now, he just looked sad and concerned. 

“Yuri, don’t ever think that you are wasting my time. There is nothing I want more than to be here with you right now. Especially since you’re going through this. I know it’s hard on you mentally too, even if you don’t like to admit it. I’m here for you both on and off the ice, and I want you to remember that. No matter what.”

Yuri sighed and then nodded, pulling away from Victor. If they were going to be done, they might as well get ready to leave. He pushed himself towards the wall, and heard Victor do the same. The silence in the rink, aside from their skates carving into the ice, was nice. It wasn’t often that Yuri could come out and practice on his own anymore. He was so busy during the day and during the night he either hurt too badly or was snuggled too closely to Victor to slip away. He missed the calmness of the rink when no one was there and no music was playing. It had always been his favorite part about his secret training sessions.

 

Victor and Yuri were silent as they unlaced their skates and changed out of their training clothes. Usually, Victor would be lecturing Yuri on his jumps from that day, or talking about how they could change the program for a better result, but today both men were preoccupied with other thoughts. Yuri was nervous for the upcoming competition and couldn’t get the idea out of his head that Victor was going to leave after it was finished. Victor on the other hand, was worried that Yuri was going to fall apart, either mentally or physically before he had a chance to achieve his dreams. “Only a few more days, Yuri. Then we can figure out what happens next” Victor thought to himself, hoping that the skaters body would be kind enough to allow for his mind to calm down. 

Yuri shivered as they walked out of Ice Castle. The temperature had dropped significantly between when they’d gone in for training and when they’d come out. To be fair, it was getting pretty late at night. The street was already lit by lamps rather than the sun and the moon had been out for a while now. Victor chuckled lightly. “Are you cold, my Yuri?” It had become a bit of a joke for them. Victor was completely insensitive to the cold, considering he was both Russian and a figure skater. Yuri on the other hand, could handle the frosty air of the ice rink only to turn into a popsicle when he stepped outside.

Yuri shot Victor a quick look before rolling his eyes, his lips twitching into a smile. “It’s not that bad. I thought I was going to freeze to death in Russia though.” At this, Victor laughed out loud. “It’s too bad I wasn’t there to be a blanket. I’ve been told that I’m good at it” He said with a wink. That earned another eye roll from Yuri. “That’s okay. I’m here now,” he said smiling as he wrapped his arm around Yuri as they walked, pulling him closer. It was a bit awkward, walking like this at first, but they got used to it, and Victor was right. He _did_ make an awfully good blanket. 

For the first time in a while, Yuri was content. Yes, every single step he took felt like he was digging daggers into his body, but he was also beside Victor which was something he had only dreamed of happening. As they walked, Yuri focused on the birds flying over the sea, remembering the day that Victor told him they reminded him of Saint Petersburg. He wondered if that was what the silver haired man was thinking about now. Yuri knew that those birds would forever represent Victor in his mind, even long after they were no longer a team on the ice. 

Yuri sighed gently, watching the breath billow out in front of him. “Leave it to me to get all depressed in such a perfect moment” he thought to himself, willing the thoughts of Victor leaving away. He couldn’t help it though. They were constantly there, looming over him like a death sentence. When he stepped away from the ice, he was already losing the only part of himself that he’d been comfortable with. Why did he now have to lose Victor along with it?

“Yuri, you’re so quiet today” Victor half whined and half asked in a concerned voice. “You should speak to me and tell me what’s on your mind.” Yuri put on his best joking smile and said, “Mostly I’m just thinking about how slow you walk old man. It’s cold outside!” It was a lie, honestly. They were walking at a perfectly fine pace, and Yuri wouldn’t have traded the moments that they were so close together for anything, but he just wasn’t ready to bring up what was on his mind just yet. That would have to wait for another day. 

“Old man, huh? You wound me, Yuri.” Victor knew that Yuri was holding back, but he wasn’t going to push the subject. It wasn’t often that Yuri would lie to him about his feelings, so there had to be a good reason for it. Eventually, they made it back home. Yuri’s mother made a big scene about making them soup but it was getting cold so she had put it in the fridge and then there was some other minor dilemma but it all turned out okay and “Oh I never even asked, how was practice?” To which they both answered good and Victor highlighted some of the best jumps from the day for her to see on the camera. 

“Your mother is always so happy Yuri.” Victor mused while eating his soup. “And she is a really good cook.” He added. Yuri only nodded, admiring the way Victors hair fell over his face as he struggled to pick up a particularly stubborn noodle with his chopsticks. “Do you need help over there?” Victor looked up, frowning. “I cannot make this single noodle come out of the bowl. I keep dropping it. But, it shall come eventually.” He said dramatically, adding a sigh at the end for effect. Yuri laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, and soon they were both doubled over, the soup nearly forgotten on the table as they struggled to get their breath back. 

There were bad days, yes. Days where nothing would go Yuri’s way and Victor would get frustrated and his body would fail him, but sometimes the days weren’t all horrible. Some days they laughed so hard their stomachs hurt and that at least took away from the stress and the frustration of the rest of the day. It was moments like these that Yuri remembered what he had loved so much about his life before his injury and before the pressures of the Grand Prix Final. As he took his bowl to the sink, he couldn’t quite wipe the smile from his face. It was a good day today.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got a lot longer than I anticipated and a lot more chaotic as well.  
> I think I said it was going to be moderately like hell? but I might have gotten carried away when i was writing it soo....?

Yuri took a breath, allowing himself to be enveloped by the cold air filling his lungs. His time here was limited. He was closer to his last day on the ice than he was the first, and that scared him more than anything. “Who will I be when I’m done?” It was the hardest question that he had faced so far. For years, he’d told everyone “I’m a skater.” There was nothing else he needed. But after this competition, after he stepped off of this ice, what happened then? As far as Yuri was concerned, he was nothing. 

He and the other competitors were warming up for their final official training before the short program event tomorrow. He stretched his shoulders, headphones in, gaze locked on something in the distance. Anyone watching him would assume that he was focused on the competition to come, and they wouldn’t necessarily be wrong, but Yuri knew differently. Victor was only vaguely aware of the skater’s unease as he spoke with the other coaches, rarely glancing over to make sure that Yuri was still alright. 

Finally, it was time to actually begin practicing on the ice. Yuri was the last to get to the gate and his discomfort had increased significantly. He was painfully aware of everything that was going on around him, wishing that he could turn the music playing faintly on the speakers louder to drown out his thoughts and his pain, both mentally and physically. “Skating has been my only distraction for as long as I can remember. But now, in the final days, I feel like I need to be avoiding it so that it’ll never end.” He thought to himself, already desperately wishing for more time, even though he still had two days left. 

He started slowly, skating laps around the rink going through minor dance moves and spins to imitate the feelings of his jumps. He tried to relax, thinking only of the programs he was about to perform, but instead Yuri’s motions only got stiffer and his thoughts only got louder. He didn’t even notice when Victor called him over to the side and only snapped out of his reverie when Phichit skated up beside him, signaling towards the side where his coach was standing, looking curiously onto the ice. Yuri skated over, each push on the ice feeling like a knife in his back. When he finally made it to the wall, he was shaking, anticipating the conversation to come.

“Yuri, you aren’t focusing. I realize that you struggle with pressure and that your injury is seriously bothering you, but this competition is what we’ve been working towards all year. The work ethic that you’ve had the past eight months is lost today. Is there something you want to tell me?” Victor’s words were sharp, spoken like a coach rather than a friend. Yuri nearly flinched away, unsure of how to answer. How do you tell someone that you can’t focus because the competition that’s supposed to be the happiest moment of your season is simultaneously the worst moment of your career?

He settled for shaking his head instead of actually replying. He needed to get back to the ice anyway. Victor frowned. “You don’t need to lie to me. I see that you’re off. And you’re not going back onto that ice until you’re straightened out at least a little. Are you hurting? Are you nervous?” Yuri sighed. Leave it to Victor to force him to answer when he didn’t even want to think about it. “I just want to skate. I can’t explain it right now, there’s too much going on.”

Victor considered this answer for a moment, looking almost like he was going to accept it before saying, “Not good enough. You can’t keep brushing this off. Something’s been on your mind for days. If we weren’t on the ice, I might not push it so much. You need boundaries and I understand that, although I might be a little hurt by the lack of honesty. When we’re at the rink though, I need to know what’s going on so that I can help you and assure that you’re safe while you’re training.” 

This was the main cause of conflict in their relationship actually. The two often struggled to find the line between lovers and coach/athlete. There was so much going on in Yuri’s head that he didn’t want to share, like his back injury or his fears or failings that he felt would disappoint Victor in their relationship but were necessary in their life on the rink because without that understanding, their bond wouldn’t be as strong. 

“I’m just worried about a lot of things right now. If I put them into words, I know it’s not going to end well, and we’re going to spend most of this session trying to fix me mentally rather than working on the programs for tomorrow. We can talk about this later, I promise, but it’s a really bad idea right now.” That was as good as Yuri felt he could do right now, and he hoped that it would be enough. Victor seemed to give up, sending him off with a wave saying, “If you want something to keep your mind off of your worries then, you can focus on fixing your free leg. It’s looking sloppy right now, and I know that you’re capable of making it look very nice.”

Yuri grinned, feeling a sense of relief coming over him with the correction. It wasn’t easy to wash away the previous emotions, but focusing on something else was definitely going to help. His body still hurt worse than it ever had before, but at least there was a goal to mask the pain. The session went on, and as the hours passed, Yuri’s worries began to slip away until he was mostly back to his usual loose and flowing self. Satisfied with the turnout of the session, Victor suggested they go back to the hotel and rest, but Yuri only shook his head. “Don’t start being a model coach now. Let’s go sightseeing” he said. 

At this, Victor smiled. This was the Yuri he’d been looking for this morning. This Yuri was carefree and happy to be at the Grand Prix Finals, not stressed and withdrawn. Of course, Victor knew that when you love someone, you’re supposed to love them through all of their broken days as well, but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch Yuri go through them. He would give anything for Yuri to have a good day every day and to not fight this anxiety that seemed to be so consuming. But that was no matter now, because Yuri was happy and he wanted to go sightseeing. 

They went to all of the places that Victor had loved when he visited for the Junior World Championships. They saw the cathedral, visited a small, little known restaurant, and went shopping, which was very exciting for Victor and mildly overwhelming for Yuri. It wasn’t until Yuri’s worries caught up with him, and they were frantically running around Barcelona trying to find a bag of roasted nuts that he’d left on the ground at some point. As Yuri got more and more stressed, Victor became more and more frustrated. “You know, maybe we should just go back and sleep. You’re tired, aren’t you?”

Yuri froze at the words. Victor sounded angry. “You don’t have to say it like that, you know.” He said sadly, hurt by the fact that Victor was mad. All he had wanted to do was find the other bag of goods that the silver haired man had purchased that day. Victor replied with something about how he was tired and wanted to go back, and they started walking in silence in the direction of their hotel. Yuri’s mind was racing as they trudged on in silence, and he couldn’t figure out if it was because he was nervous like earlier or if he was upset with Victor. “Probably both” he decided after a while.

They crossed the street and found themselves in a market selling all sorts of holiday items, and Yuri couldn’t keep his eyes away from the sparkling lights and happy people. There was a whole world of happiness outside of the ice that he realized he had never really experienced. He didn’t want to retire from skating because it was all he’d ever known, but at the same time, there was so much he had never seen before. He looked over at Victor and realized that there was one stop they needed to make before going home that night. 

***

It hadn’t taken long to pick out the rings, or the spot to give it to Victor. The real issue was what Yuri planned on saying to him. After making the purchase, he looked to Victor with shining eyes saying, “There’s somewhere we need to go.” With that, he grabbed the older man’s hand and led him towards the cathedral. Finally, they reached the gates, just behind some carolers who were celebrating the holidays. Yuri turned to Victor, thinking he’d be more nervous than he was. Instead, he felt calm and warm, like he’d been curled under a blanket cuddled next to him all day, rather than bickering off and on.

He took the other man’s hand and gently removed the glove and put the ring on his finger, his own hand shaking in the process. “Thank you for all that you’ve done for me Victor. I’m sorry I couldn’t get something better, but I’ll try my hardest from tomorrow on. Um… S-say something for good luck!” Yuri could feel the blush rising in his cheeks and stared down at his feet, unable to bring his gaze up. He was shocked when Victor reached out and took his hand, sliding a ring onto it as well. 

“I’ll give you something you don’t even have to think about” Victor said gently. “Show me the skating that you can honestly say you liked best.” Yuri looked up, shocked. Victor’s eyes were filled with compassion and he’d never seemed to gentle and loving as he did in that moment. Yuri’s fears from the day were long forgotten as he got lost in the sea of happiness and comfort that surrounded him. He nodded before smiling back at Victor, stepping forward into the other man’s arms. “I won’t let you down” he promised, whispering quietly into the Russian’s shoulder. 

They went to dinner with the other skaters that night, and Yuri couldn’t get his mind off of the fact that he and Victor shared matching rings. When it came up in conversation, he laughed happily, mentioning how awkward and shy he was last year at the banquet when he couldn’t even bring himself to talk to Victor and yet, here they were, as happy as ever.

That was of course, the point that Victor quite literally spit his drink across the table and Yuri learned that he had drunkenly pole-danced and then approached the living legend half naked, begging him to be his coach. That was also the point when Yuri’s thoughts froze and the entirety of the last eight months began replaying in his mind over and over. He dodged conversation in embarrassment and barely spoke again on the way back to the hotel. 

“I asked him to come here?” He thought to himself. “I literally asked the greatest skater of all time to leave his home, his life, everything and come to coach me. Christophe was right. I really did take Victor from the world, and much more selfishly than I thought.” Despite having no control over his blindly drunk self, Yuri still blamed himself for every second of what happened, and now questioned the entire reason as to why Victor was here. Of course, their love felt very real, and that wasn’t an issue, but the fact that Victor had left his life to coach him was too much to bear. “I have to retire after this competition. I had already decided that before, but now there is no turning back. I can’t be the man who took Victor Nikiforov away from the ice because of a drunken request.”

***

There were only ten minutes until the short program began and Yuri had never been so unsteady in his life. He had barely regarded his back pain yesterday, and it was a raging force today, making it difficult to put any pressure on his left foot at all. He never wondered what it was like to skate without pain anymore. He just assumed it would be there the rest of his life. After all, he’d pushed it beyond hurting just when he skated. It hurt every second of every single day. That didn’t make it easier to ignore when it truly impacted things like standing still. Or breathing. 

Victor could tell it was one of his bad days, and tried to be encouraging but Yuri would only shrug his concerns away, unable to get past the realizations of the night before. “I can’t rely on him anymore” he would think to himself, guilty over the fact that Victor cared so much. “He keeps talking about healing and working through it and doing my best, but I can tell he misses it on the ice. It’s my fault that he isn’t out here. I can’t keep taking him away from it.” And so, Yuri went on, forcing himself to step away from the wall each time Victor reached out, and to close his ears to the kind words being given to him. They were acts of kindness that he didn’t deserve. 

 

The warm up session ended and Yuri was the last person left on the ice, and the first to perform. Before he could move away to take his place in the center of the rink, Victor took hold of his hand and kissed the ring for good luck. They smiled at each other, and Yuri skated away, bringing his hand to his lips one more time. He could feel the throbbing in his back as he waited for the music to start. It was overwhelming, to the point where if it was a normal day of practice, he wouldn’t have hesitated in saying it was too bad to continue. This performance was going to take everything he had in him and then some.

He thought about a conversation he’d had with Victor while training in Hasetsu. They were considering even putting the quad flip into the short program considering his health and the level of difficulty it would bring. “It will motivate me to do better in the final.” Yuri said, knowing that he was going to need all of the help he could get if he was going to force his body through the program. “Besides, don’t you want to see me with a three-point higher difficulty?” That was all it had taken for Victor to give in, and just like that, another quad was added to the program. 

His first jumps went perfectly, but each one was draining his ability to focus. The impacts were sending daggers of pain, lancing through his legs and his spine, forcing him to redirect his thoughts to pain management rather than proper technique and skating. He drug a hand across the ice on the quadruple flip. Actually, he wasn’t even sure that it _was_ a quadruple flip. The take-off had been rough and the landing was even worse. There was a very realistic chance that he hadn’t made all of the rotations around. The angle of impact only made the pain even worse, and by the time Yuri finished the performance, he was shaking uncontrollably. 

As the last note faded and the crowd began to cheer, Yuri fell to the ice. In his mind, he saw images of Victor longingly watching the other skaters perform. He saw himself falling over and over again, only for Victor to be so cheerful when giving him corrections. He saw the images of the X-ray showing his broken body and remembered all of the days that he’d had to stop training early because he just couldn’t take it. Every breath he took now shook his body, sending shockwaves of pain through it and forcing tears from his eyes, but he couldn’t tell if they were from the physical injury or the mental one. He willed himself to stand up, putting one foot underneath him, then the other. He straightened his legs, nearly unable to stand totally straight and managed to skate over to the edge and walk over to the bench to receive his score.

Victor put his hand on the younger skater’s back, rubbing in small circles, hoping to at least ease some of the mental anguish. 97.83. Lower than he needed, and a far cry from his personal best. Yuri slumped forward, as a feeling of disappointment washed over him. What little adrenaline he had running through him had disappeared and exhaustion hit him like a train. Victor stood up, offering a hand to the black-haired man, who had no choice but to take it at this point, wincing as he tried and failed to straighten up fully. 

“Come on Yuri. Let’s get you changed.” Victor said, obviously worried. About halfway to the locker room, Victor sighed and scooped Yuri up in his arms and carried him the rest of the way. “Let me help you, my Yuri.” He set Yuri down on a bench and began to unzip the costume, waiting for Yuri to pull his arms out before supporting the Japanese man as he pulled the legs off. “Here are your sweatpants” He offered, very aware of the fact that Yuri had yet to speak following his performance.

“Yuri, say something. Please.” Yuri only looked up from the ground for long enough to say, “I think that we should talk later” before reaching for his clothes and changing into them. The words cut into Victor like a knife, and he knew that this conversation wasn’t going to be good. “I’ll leave you to change then. I’ll be in the stands when you’re ready.” He knew that even though Yuri was hurting right now, he was also desperately trying to do things on his own and the stands weren’t too far away. 

Yuri nodded. It took him a while to bend down and tie his sneakers, and even longer to stand up fully again, but eventually he made it to where Victor was waiting. Before he said anything though, he noticed how Victor was looking towards the ice. There was a sadness there that Yuri felt deep within him, and his decision was only solidified. “This is the last time I skate, Victor. I will forever support you, but I cannot do it on the ice with you.” Tonight he would tell him, but for now, he’d try to lose himself in the competition, and ignore the chaos that was raging inside of him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter went way off course but I'm really happy with how it turned out?   
> I wanted to give a lot more feeling to episode 12, especially because I feel like so many pieces were left out of the episode due to time.  
> I'm not sure when the next chapter will be because obviously we've run out of current canon material, but I've got a few ideas and just want to mess with them before I fully commit them to the story!  
> It shouldn't take too long though. Anyway, happy reading!

Yuri sat on the edge of the beds he and Victor had pushed together, pulse racing. He fidgeted nervously, waiting for the Russian to get out of the shower so that they could finally talk. He wasn’t looking forward to this conversation, and most certainly not what came after. But it had to be done. Today had proved that to him more than anything. He smoothed out the wrinkles in his pants and stared out the window, wondering what everyone else in the city was up to. This had the potential to be one of the most important conversations of his life, and he was terrified. But in the building across the street, someone was probably sleeping. Another person might be dancing with their best friend to their favorite song, not a care in the world. It always amazed Yuri how much could be happening at once and how so many little things fit together to create the lives that each person lived.

Mostly, he was amazed at all of the things that had happened to bring his life to this point. Minako teaching him ballet had led to him meeting Yuuko, falling in love with Victor, eventually skating with him and then becoming his athlete and fiancé. It was all too much to take in sometimes. He ran through the little speech he had made in his head again, making sure that he had everything he wanted to say neatly packaged into one little thought. 

Of course, this neatly packaged thought was quickly forgotten when he heard the bathroom door open and Victor walked across the room to sit on the edge of the window. “So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” He said cheerily, seemingly unaware of the seriousness to come. Or at least, trying to lighten the mood, as Yuri was already on edge.

 

Yuri took a deep breath. “After the final, lets end this.” Victor froze. This wasn’t what he was expecting at all. “Huh?” The confusion was evident, but Yuri continued, trying to explain himself as best he could. “You’ve done more than enough for me Victor. Thanks to you I was able to give everything I had to my last season.” He bowed forward, his body slumping, hands resting on his knees. “Thank you for everything Victor. Thank you for being my coach.” Yuri didn’t move, unsure of what else to do. The tension in the room was painfully obvious, and it seemed as though neither of them had anything to say. That was until Yuri saw the teardrop fall onto the floor. He looked up, shocked.

Tears fell from Victor’s eyes, and the oceanic blue seemed much more like a shattered sky. He wouldn’t even look up from the ground, shoulders shaking with each breath. Finally, after several moments, he spoke. “Damn.” Yuri felt his heart clench in his chest. Victor had never cursed before, at least not in front of him. “ _What have I done?_ ” He thought to himself, waiting for Victor to say something else. It took only a second for Victor to continue.

“I didn’t expect Katsuki Yuri to be such a selfish human being” The words were strangely calm, sounding almost amused, but Yuri could see that it was just a façade. The expression on Victor’s face said more than his words ever would. He stuttered before answering. “Right. I made this selfish decision on my own. I’m retiring.” It was the first time he’d said the words out loud, and despite how confident he was in the decision earlier, he felt like he was tearing himself into a thousand pieces. Victor’s tears began to fall harder, his gaze dropping lower, and there was nothing but silence as a response this time.

Yuri leaned forward and brushed the hair from Victor’s eyes. He’d never seen him cry before, not like this. In an instant, Victor’s face was hard again. “Yuri” he said, his voice carrying an edge sharper than Yuri had ever heard, even on their worst days of practice. “What are you doing?” The question was more a demand than anything. There was nothing light about this conversation anymore. “I’m just surprised to see you cry is all” He said, fearing making it any worse. This wasn’t going well. Victor was angry, really and truly angry, and batted Yuri’s hand away. “I’m mad okay?” 

Now Yuri was frustrated as well. “You’re the one who said it was only until the Grand Prix Final! Besides, aren’t you going to make a comeback?” He said indignantly. And it was true. Their agreement was that Victor would take him to the Finals, he would win gold, and they would discuss coaching fees later. There was nothing about falling in love in the agreement and Yuri wasn’t really sure how that was going to work after this year anyway, once Victor started training again. Because in Yuri’s mind, there was nothing else that could logically happen. Victor had to go back to the ice just like he had to walk away from it.

Victor didn’t hesitate before replying. “I thought you needed me more! And besides, how can you tell me to return to the ice while saying that you’re retiring?” He leaned forward, putting his hands on Yuri’s shoulders. “Don’t you think that I needed you out there just as much as you needed me this year? This wasn’t just some game to surprise the world Yuri. I came to you because after that night at the banquet, I realized how much I was missing in my life. And now you’re just going to step out of it and expect me to pick up the pieces?” The tears were falling faster than ever now, but Yuri wasn’t surprised anymore.

“Victor, you can’t throw away your career on the ice for me. I didn’t leave last year because I still had so much that I wanted to accomplish, and you helped with that. Actually, you were the main cause of that. But now? Now, I’m injured and I’m not sure I’ll ever be okay again, and you’re looking at the ice like you wish you’d never left. Don’t pretend you don’t want to be back out there and that I’m the cause of it because when you watch the competitions I can nearly see your heart breaking!” Yuri had never raised his voice in an argument before, always careful to keep himself under control. But this time, he wasn’t louder because he was angry he was louder because he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You have a chance to get out there again Victor. I don’t. Don’t let our relationship take away your career. You’re a legend.”

Victor could hear the raw emotion in Yuri’s voice, and suddenly he felt very trapped with his back against the window. There was no way to escape. He wasn’t used to being forced to share his emotions and his words came out shaky and hesitant at first. “So, you think that my career is more important than what we share together? That I’d just throw this all away in a second because I could win another gold medal or two? Who says you can’t heal and come back with me next season, if I come back at all?” He paused, unsure of what else to say for a moment before adding, “And what exactly possessed you to decide this on your own? Ignore the fact that I’m in love with you. I’m your _coach_. I have every single right to be involved in at least a minor conversation regarding a retirement. At least a passing comment would have been more appreciated than this bombshell that you apparently thought was appropriate to take on yourself.”

 

Yuri shook his head. “I was _trying_ to make this _easier_ on you don’t you see? I wasn’t trying to ignore you at all! This was the only thing that I could think of that would get you back to doing what you loved without feeling like you’d abandoned me! Don’t you remember how difficult it was for you to walk away from Rostelecom when Makkachin needed you that night? I just thought that maybe if I walked away entirely, you wouldn’t have to worry about my injury or my mental weakness and you could go back to focusing on what you love. What you’re so incredibly good at. I was so sick of holding you back that this was the only option.”

“You think that because you’re injured and have anxiety that you’re holding me back? Yuri, those are challenges that you’re facing in your life, but what have I ever done to show you that they’re a problem to me? I got frustrated when you weren’t being smart about healing. I got annoyed when you wouldn’t calm down over a bag of nuts that you’d lost accidentally. But God, Yuri, none of that has any effect on how much I want you in my life.” The argument had turned into something much less harsh and something much more meaningful. Everything that had been building up for months was finally coming out.

Yuri sat up a little straighter now. “I’m not taking back my decision. And I’m not going to force you into anything. I think this is something we both need to think about for a little while, maybe sleep on it and see how tomorrow goes. But as far as our relationship goes, we’re engaged. I’ve never been happier about something in my life. I don’t want us to end just because our skating situation has changed. You mean too much to me for that.” He could accept that Victor wasn’t happy with his decision. But at least they had moved past the point of anger. 

Victor nodded, putting his finger to his lips, deep in thought. “We have to talk about this later though. But I think you’re right. We need to focus on your performance tomorrow. After all, if it’s going to be your last one, you need to go out in a way you can be proud of.” The words had a weight to them, and Victor was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Yuri may never compete again after tomorrow’s performance, but he was determined to make sure that it was worth remembering. 

There were no words needed after that, and the couple got ready for bed as always, brushing their teeth beside each other and turning out the lights before sliding under the blankets in only their boxers. “At least nothing has changed in our relationship” Yuri thought to himself before snuggling closer to Victor. His breathing slowed and exhaustion outweighed his racing mind. He was asleep sooner rather than later.

Victor, on the other hand, was left awake for several hours. His thoughts overlapping and only leading to more questions and worries as the night went on. He was still hurt that Yuri had made such an important decision on his own. He had thought that after all they’d been through, Yuri would have at least mentioned that this was still something he was considering. Especially considering Victor had practically announced his own retirement by leaving to coach Yuri. It would only make sense to go to him for advice or _something_. 

He ended up falling asleep before the sun rose though, and despite his mental unrest, the feeling of Yuri pressed against him was enough to leave a small smile on his lips until the morning.   
***

Yuri stretched the next day before his performance, hearing the crowd cheer for JJ. He knew that it would be his turn soon, and that if he didn’t put down a good program, he’d be risking another loss like last year. Despite the stress surrounding the event this year though, he wasn’t worried. He was calm as he ran through the movements in his head, visualizing each and every step of the free skate. He could do this. 

But mixed with his calm was a sadness. He remembered meeting Victor again in the airport after Rostelecom, the way they’d ran into each other’s arms as though they’d been apart for years rather than just a few days. They had promised each other that they’d never leave then, maybe not so explicitly in words but in gestures and implied thoughts. “ _I wish you’d never retire_ ” Those words kept ringing through Yuri’s mind and each time he heard them, he felt them cut deeper and deeper. Victor was right, it was wrong of him to make the decision on his own. But what was done was done and all he could do now was try and make it up to the Russian by performing as best he could.

They stepped forward, out of the hallway through the curtain and into the rink. It was full of people, but Yuri was focused only on his own heartbeat and the sound of Victor walking closely behind him. This was his last chance to make everything Victor had done worth it. The last chance to make every second of work and pain mean something. He stepped onto the ice and leaned forward stretching his back and shoulders out. He knew that he was hurting today, but the importance of this free skate far outweighed the pain. 

Victor leaned in, resting his elbows on the all. “Don’t worry. You can win gold Yuri. Believe in yourself.” Without moving, Yuri barely hesitated in his reply. “Hey Victor. I told you before that I wanted you to stay who you were, right? Don’t suddenly start trying to sound like a coach now. I want to smile for my last time on the ice.” Victor gasped, startled at the directness of his athlete. They had barely spoken all day, focusing mostly on the event and perhaps even more on what came after it. 

Victor laced his fingers with Yuri’s and gripped his hand tightly. “Yuri, listen to me. I debated even telling you this now, but I took a break after becoming a five-time world champion to coach you, so how is it possible that you haven’t won a single gold medal?” Yuri looked up in surprise. Was Victor trying to test him again? Or was he just that confident that Yuri could win? He didn’t have much time to think it over before Victor began speaking again. 

“How much longer are you going to stay in warm-up mode?” He said before hugging Yuri tightly. Yuri leaned into it, relishing this as one of the final moments they’d spend together as coach and athlete. “I really want to kiss the gold medal,” he whined, sounding like he was being playful, although there was no doubt that he was completely serious. He went to stand up again, but Victor held him tightly for one more second, whispering in his ear, “Remember that then, Yuri. This is your dream.” 

It was a phrase that had always helped Victor through his toughest times. When he felt down and broken and he just wanted to give up, he remembered a quote he had read once. It was on a post it note, left in a subway in America. All it said was “Come one kid. This is your dream.” He had folded up the piece of paper and never travelled without it. And he knew that the words probably wouldn’t have the same effect on Yuri, but it was the best that Victor could give, one last notion as a coach before sending him out to the ice. 

Yuri leaned forward again, holding Victor closely to him and burst into tears, surprised to feel Victor’s body shaking as well. The pain of the moment was finally there, and as they hugged for this last time, Yuri couldn’t help but wish that there would be more to their relationship on the ice. When the two had finally calmed down, they stood back up, looking lovingly into the others eyes. No words had to be said for them to understand what the other was trying to say. They clasped hands, rings glinting in the light of the rink, and while Victor could have held this forever, it was Yuri who pulled away first, turning towards the center of the ice. “I’ve made up my mind about my goal” He thought to himself, Victor’s words echoing in the back of his mind. “This is your dream.”

The music started. Yuri could feel his emotions building up, crashing and cascading over one another and flowing out into his performance. _This_ was the music Victor was talking about. “My name is Katsuki Yuri. I’m a dime a dozen figure skater from Japan. I’m 24” He thought, reminding himself of everything that had led up to this point. The music was no longer about the most recent events in his career, but his whole life. Every note meant something different now, more fulfilling and heartfelt.

“For more than half of my life I’ve been trying to catch up to Victor” He thought, remembering all of the hours spent with Yuko at Ice Castle, mimicking his routines and watching his videos. It made him swell with joy, knowing that he’d come all of this way to the Grand Prix Final with his idol, his best friend, and now his lover. “Thank you for bringing me all the way here, Victor.” Yuri jumped, performing the Salchow that he and Yurio had spent so much time practicing. He landed it perfectly. “But it’s not just Victor that I have to thank.” He was reminded as he thought of how many times he had fallen and Yurio had demonstrated the jump again and again until Victor had walked in. 

Yuri realized then, that if this was going to be his last competition, he was going to make it so much more. He was supposed to go for a triple loop. It was the only jump in his program that had stayed consistent all year. But then, he did a triple flip instead. “My performance needs to be better than flawless for a chance at gold” he thought to himself, remembering the point difference from yesterday’s short program. No matter how nostalgic this performance was, and how much it would mean to him in the end, he was still here for one thing: to win the gold medal. “I’ve been thinking since the short program yesterday that I’d like the final free skate of my career to have the same difficulty as Victor’s.” It wouldn’t be too challenging. He’d be tired, sure, but the adrenaline rushing through him now would carry him forwards long after the performance was over. He’d already surprised Victor with his skating once. Why shouldn’t he do it one last time?

He exchanged a triple for a quad, wondering if Victor was picking up on it yet. “Do you see it now, Victor?” he thought to himself. He wished he could look over and see the other man’s face, but he knew that the reaction at the end would be more than worth it if he could just focus for the rest of the program. “I don’t want it to end here Victor. I want to stay in figure skating with you forever. But you staying on as a coach means slowly killing you as a competitive skater.” And then, after all of his troubles and doubts that year, Yuri felt a sense of calm. “Look at the Victor who lives on inside of me” he thought to himself. “Your becoming my coach wasn’t a waste of time. I’m the only one in the whole world who can prove that.” And then, he was left to his final moments as a competitor on the ice. The last quad that he would ever compete would be the signature move of his coach.

“You were wrong Victor. This isn’t about my dream anymore. This is about our dream and all that we’ve worked for together. I barely landed this in training and I only just missed it yesterday, but today…? Today I’m ready.” He took off, putting everything he had into that final jump. Time seemed to freeze for him as the world fell silent and the only thing that mattered was landing this jump. For a moment, Yuri wasn’t worried about what he would do when tomorrow he woke up and was no longer a competitive skater, or how he would live without Victor by his side because he was competing again. There was nothing but Yuri, the ice, and Victor by the wall watching his every move. 

And then the instant was over and Yuri felt his foot connect with the ice, gliding flawlessly. His eyes welled with tears and he performed the final motions as if in a daze, arm outstretched toward Victor. He threw his arms in the air, tears streaming down his face, although he hardly noticed. All Yuri knew was that he had put everything he had into this year and that he couldn’t possibly have done better in his final performance. He stood on the ice, memorizing the feeling of standing in the middle of a crowd, knowing that he had made everyone proud with what he’d done.

And then, Victor called to him and the moment was over. The realization that this was the end hit him like a wall. “I don’t want to go to the kiss and cry because going back there means it’s over.” All of the memories that he’d run through in his mind during his performance would officially be memories, no longer stepping stones towards the competitions he had yet to participate in. His career as a skater was done in the blink of an eye. And it hurt. More than anything, it hurt. But the blow was softened tremendously in that moment when he turned around and saw Victor’s smiling face and the tears of joy and love that had been shed. 

They walked closely together, arms wrapped around one another all the way to the bench where Yuri could only put his head in his hands. “I’m sure you did fine and got a great score” Victor said to him, trying to be encouraging. But Yuri wasn’t worried about the score. He knew that he had done well. Maybe not well enough to win, but he had never had a better performance in his life. He was worried about what came next. 

And then his score was up and before he knew it he was wrapped in Victor’s arms again and the whole audience was cheering. He’d broken the world record. No. Not just any world record. _Victor’s_ world record. “Congratulations, Yuri,” Victor whispered. “Beating the world record is the ultimate bliss as your choreographer and coach. But it’s the ultimate diss as your competitor.” And just like that, Yuri realized that Victor was really doing it. He was really coming back. He gasped, pulling back. “You’re really coming back then?” He asked incredulously, thrilled beyond belief. Victor only looked at him, smiling. 

“Victor isn’t just coming back to the ice,” Yuri thought as he looked into Victor’s eyes, seeing more than just a comeback in his words. “He’s trying to keep me here as well.” He hugged Victor one more time, and they sat closely together until long after Chris’ performance was over and he kicked them out of the kiss and cry. It was then that they split ways for a moment so that Yuri could go change. What Yuri didn’t know was that Victor was going to have a conversation with Yakov and Yurio.

Yuri came out of the locker room, only to find that Victor had disappeared. It wasn’t unusual for him to be wandering after a competition, but this seemed different. He noticed that Victor’s water bottle and tissues were still sitting on the chair outside of the door. He sighed and ran up to the stands to watch the other competitors. Otabek had just finished and Yurio was just now taking the ice. There was a desperation in his movements, an innocence that Yuri had never seen from him before, but at the same time it was flawless. The emotions only added to the already gorgeous performance and Yuri couldn’t tear his eyes away if he wanted to. With horror, he thought to himself, “I wasn’t enough. There’s no chance of me winning if he keeps this up.” And then Yurio added another quad and the fear intensified. It was too good for words until he let a hand drag across the ice. And as much as Yuri hated to admit it, there was a slight sense of relief that he might still have a chance to win the gold medal.

Yurio finished his performance, collapsing to the ice and letting everything he had been feeling out in his tears. His joy over his performance and the stress from the pressure. Everything that couldn’t have been put into words or into the performance was out in the open now, and Yuri could truly see for the first time that this child was just that. A child. And he felt a rush of pride and admiration for how far they’d both come together, even if they hadn’t been near each other for most of the season.

And then Yurio’s score came up. He had one by just .12 points. Yuri got second and even though he had been striving for the gold, he was too overjoyed with all that he had overcome to be upset with himself. He had put down his best performance today. No medal was going to take that away from him. 

Victor, on the other hand, might. When Yuri presented his medal to the older man, he only smiled saying “I don’t feel like kissing it unless it’s gold.” Yuri stepped back, unsure of how to respond. Victor only laughed. “Aw, I really wanted to kiss Yuri’s gold medal. I’m such a failure as a coach” He teased stepping forward to close the gap between them. “Yuri, do you have any suggestions” he whispered almost seductively. Yuri fell backwards with Victor landing on top of him. “Something that would excite me?” he added. Yuri squeezed his eyes tightly. 

There were many things that ran through Yuri’s mind, none of which were appropriate for the ice rink at the grand prix final. Most of which he’d blush at even by himself, but that didn’t’ stop him from thinking about it in that moment. He swallowed before opening his eyes again. “What did you think about just now?” Victor asked playfully. Yuri tried to answer, but sometimes honesty was not the best call and he only managed to stutter in response. Victor grinned. 

Yuri sat up suddenly, straddling Victor and hugging him. “Please stay with me for one more year in competitive skating. This time I’ll win gold for sure!” He hadn’t reached his goal, or fulfilled his promises, or achieved his dream, or whatever else anyone would call it. He got silver. He was ecstatic. But Yuri Katsuki was better than silver and if he was going to prove it, he was going to have to come back next year. Victors eyes widened and his smile was so wide, Yuri was sure it made his face hurt. 

“Great!” Victor exclaimed. “But keep going! Even I’m worried about making a full comeback if I’m also staying on as your coach. In exchange, I’ll need you to become a five-time world champion at least.” Yuri could feel himself starting to cry for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. He nodded in agreement before leaning forward to hug Victor again. He didn’t know how long they had stayed there, but when they finally parted, everyone but the maintenance crew was gone from the rink.

“How are you going to coach me and compete at the same time Victor? Won’t that be too challenging? I don’t want you to get distracted from your career or anything” Yuri began rambling, trying to figure out the complications, but Victor quickly silenced him by pressing their mouths together. “Don’t worry about that now Yuri. There are other things to worry about. Like your back, first of all! We’re done competing so how are you feeling?”

Yuri frowned before taking a second to think of an answer. He had been ignoring it all day, too focused on the event to pay attention. But now that Victor mentioned it, it was bad. Not as bad as the day before but not good. “It could use some rest” He admitted, looking away from the other man. It wasn’t often that he could admit how he was feeling, but it was a little easier today now that they only had the exhibition left.

Victor nodded. “Good thing we only have the exhibition left. As your coach, we’re getting this figured out before we set one foot on the ice when we get home, okay?” Yuri sighed, but nodded, knowing that there was no point in arguing. They stood up from the ground, taking a second for Yuri to adjust to standing before walking out of the rink, Victor rambling about what they were going to eat for dinner and how difficult it was going to be to create a program before world championships considering it was only a few months away. Yuri tried to follow along for a while, but eventually just settled for listening to the sound of Victor’s voice, smiling as they walked hand in hand out the door.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing style jumped out the window at some point. I don't know where it went. But now we have a chapter and it's just... well, I don't know.
> 
> I'm kinda proud of it.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

Yuri sighed as he stepped into the shower, embracing the feeling of water running through his hair and down his back in small rivers. He and Victor would leave to go home tomorrow morning, but tonight he finally had a chance to relax. The exhibition had of course, gone flawlessly as planned. Yuri had never felt more graceful on the ice than when he was skating with Victor. Each motion melted into the next and he felt like he was dreaming. Well, this whole trip had seemed like a dream really, considering all that had happened. He looked at the ring on his finger, admiring the way it caught the light for the hundredth time that day. It was still pretty unbelievable that he and Victor were getting married at some point. “When I win the gold medal” he thought to himself, laughing. It was going to be harder than ever now that he was competing against both Victor and Yurio, but he was looking forward to the challenge. “At least I’ll be competing with people I like.”

Not to mention all of the inexperienced skaters from this year will be coming into the next season much more prepared. It’s definitely going to be interesting to see how the competitors line up depending on who makes it to the senior division and who retires. But of course, four continents and world championships came before all of that, and Victor was trying to get back into top shape by then. Yuri smiled, thinking of how strange it would be to compete against his coach, and in his distraction managed to get shampoo in both of his eyes. He fumbled blindly along the wall, searching for the rail that held his wash cloth, managing to knock over several bottles in the process. He yelped as one landed on his foot. “So much for a relaxing shower,” he grumbled, finally finding the washcloth balled up on the floor. It must have fallen during his search, just like everything else that was previously sitting on the edge of the tub. 

Hearing the commotion in the bathroom, Victor flung the door open. “Yuri! Are you okay? Did you fall?” Yuri’s face blushed and he opened his eyes after getting all of the shampoo out of them. “Yeah. I’m good. I just knocked over…. well, everything I think,” he said looking around at the mess of containers on the floor of the shower. Victor laughed from the other side of the curtain. “You sounded like you hurt yourself, so I thought I would come in and save you, but it looks like you’re just clumsy as always.”

“Hey!” Yuri protested jokingly. “What do you mean as always?” He poked his head out from around the curtain, laughing along with the Russian. “This only happened because I got soap in my eyes anyway! I was temporarily blinded!” This only made Victor laugh even harder. “You got it in both of your eyes? And took out the entire shower?” He shook his head, moving to leave the bathroom. “I’ll let you get done then.” He said before closing the door.

Yuri continued chuckling even as he washed his body and eventually got out of the shower and dried off. It was only then that he realized Victor had taken his clothes while leaving the bathroom. He sighed, wrapping the towel around his waist before shuffling out of the bathroom. Victor was sitting calmly on the bed, flipping through photos on his phone. He pretended not to notice Yuri looking around the room for the small pile he was sure he had brought with him into the bathroom. Finally, though, Yuri gave in to the bait. 

“Alright, where did you put them?” He asked, smiling. He and Victor had seen each other naked plenty of times before in the Onsen, and after the massage day, he definitely had no issues wandering around in a towel. Victor looked up from his phone with a wolfish grin. “You can have them if you can find them. But I think that maybe you’ll be a bit too distracted to look for a little while?” He got up from the bed and walked over to Yuri, taking the younger man’s face in his hands and kissing him deeply. “I couldn’t stop thinking about your performance this weekend.” Victor whispered moving his lips down to Yuri’s jawline. “You did so well.” Yuri’s body melted into Victor’s touch. He’d been so stressed out that he didn’t even realize how contact deprived he was. They’d barely even slept together comfortably, with Yuri’s back hurting and the jet lag from travel, but now the Finals were over. They were free to do whatever they pleased until they began training again. 

Victor moved his hand from Yuri’s face and chose to wrap his arms around his torso instead, pulling him closer. Yuri tilted his head, feeling Victor’s breath trailing down his neck. Despite the fact that he had no clothes on, and the air was chilly in the room, his skin was beginning to burn with desire. He trailed his fingers up under the hem of Victor’s shirt, tracing patterns over the smooth muscle. Victor sensed the increasing need in Yuri and pulled his shirt over his head, only to lean back in and connect their lips once again. “Remember,” He said softly. “We don’t do anything you don’t want to.” Yuri nodded slightly, unwilling to pull himself away from Victor enough to answer for a moment, before saying, “I’m not the only one involved in this relationship. You have a say too.” Victor smiled sweetly. “Yuri, we do what you want here. If you feel safe and comfortable then I will forever be happy.”

Yuri responded by lacing his fingers into the soft silver hair and kissing Victor with such passion that the older man was momentarily shocked. He had never seen Yuri so desperate or open before. “I want you Victor. Here. Tonight.” His fingers still played with Victor’s hair and Victor in response gently tugged his own pants off, letting them fall to the floor at his feet. “If you’re sure you’re ready then. We’ll go slowly” He said, leading Yuri over to the bed and undoing the towel at his waist. Despite Yuri’s previous confidence from walking out of the shower, he was trembling and nervous now. There was something a little bit terrifying about letting someone see all of you so intimately no matter how close you were. He sat on the edge, watching as Victor padded over to his bag retrieving the needed objects.

 

“We’ve done this part before Yuri. Just relax” Victor said as he gently put one hand on Yuri’s lower back and the other behind his head, helping him to lay flat on the bed. Yuri’s breath caught in his throat as he fully realized that this was finally happening. Both and Victor were naked on a bed after the Grand Prix Finals and if that wasn’t the fulfillment of a dream, then Yuri didn’t know what was. Both of the men were getting hard and Yuri could feel his body trembling in anticipation. Victor took his time with the lube, making sure that his finger were thoroughly coated and looked to Yuri one more time for consent. “You would tell me if I was doing something you didn’t want, wouldn’t you?” Yuri hesitated for only a second before he was sure that this was exactly what he wanted. “Of course I would.” He answered with as much confidence as his nervous and excited self could muster.

Victor’s smile helped to put Yuri more at ease. He tried to relax his muscles as Victor spread his legs out gently. Yuri took a deep breath as he felt the first finger gently circle his opening. “Breathe” He reminded himself, trying to force all of the muscle tension out with his exhale. Victor paused, noticing the slight hesitation in Yuri’s body, but continued as Yuri relaxed. Before long, Yuri needed more inside of him, and Victor was able to put in a second finger. They curled inside of him before scissoring slowly and Yuri winced at the feeling. “Still good?” Victor asked, stopping completely. Yuri nodded. “It’s just… weird. I don’t remember it being so difficult to relax last time.” He answered, gasping, and cheeks turning red. It felt good, and he was definitely getting harder as they moved forward but at the same time, he couldn’t relax.

“It makes sense Yuri. You’re nervous. It might be harder to relax because you’re thinking about what happens after this. But you should know that if you’re too nervous, we can stop at any time.” Leave it to Victor to always make sure that Yuri was comfortable and ready to progress. It was just another thing that made Yuri love him so much. He cared about every little detail. Come to think of it, that’s probably why he was such a phenomenal skater as well. “Keep going” Yuri managed to answer.

Victor nodded and continued to drag his fingers out before gently pushing them back in again. “Almost there Yuri, you’re doing so good” he said, as he added another finger while massaging Yuri’s leg with his free hand. Finally as the third finger began to enter, Yuri opened up fully, his head relaxing on the pillow behind him, his breath coming out in short gasps. “There it is” Victor thought to himself. “This is Yuri’s Eros coming out.” And it was true. Yuri was completely relaxed as he laid on the bed.

He looked up, brown eyes meeting Victor’s blue ones. “I think I’m ready” He said, his hair sticking to his forehead from the sweat. Victor nodded, and removed his fingers from Yuri, reaching for the condom. “It might be easier if you lay on your stomach this first time” Victor suggested, knowing that sometimes it could be painful the first time, no matter how open you were. “It’s up to you though. Tonight is all about you Yuri” he said as he finished rolling the condom onto his very erect self. Yuri contemplated the idea for a minute before shaking his head. “How can I kiss you if I’ve got my face shoved in the bed? Just go slowly,” He said. He had always dreamed that his first time would be Victor on top of him, their actions speaking louder than words ever could. And it seemed that Victor had the same kind of idea as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Yuri’s. “I promise I’ll be careful. Make sure you tell me if it’s not okay though?” Yuri nodded quickly and Victor carefully lined himself up with Yuri’s entrance. Gently, he pressed forward, capturing Yuri’s moans with his own mouth. When he was finally flush against Yuri’s skin he pulled his head back just a little, hands still entangled in the younger man’s hair. “Still okay” he asked quietly. “It’s... amazing” Yuri gasped out before gently moving his hips a little. 

Victor smiled. Yuri was beautiful lying beneath him, hair matted with sweat and eyes sparkling with excitement. His heart swelled as he thought about spending the rest of his life with this man. “I’m going to move now” he said shakily, betraying his own excitement. He probably wasn’t going to last long, after all Yuri did have the better stamina and Victor had already been beyond excited before entering him. Yuri responded by wiggling his hips more and pulling Victor down to kiss him again. There was no talking anymore as the two found their pace and communicated only in quiet whimpers and moans. Yuri could feel Victor’s thighs shaking between his own. The silver haired man moved back, trying to make himself last longer, but Yuri held him close in silent acknowledgement. 

They came together and lay in exhaustion for several minutes, legs tangled together, fingers tracing patterns over each other’s skin in sluggish motions. “Do you feel okay?” Victor asked, running his fingers over Yuri’s jawline, admiring the way his chest rose and fell with each tired breath. Yuri nodded before turning his head and pressing their foreheads together. “I’ve never felt better in my life” He whispered before adding, “I love you. So damn much.” Victor smiled widely, his expression going from gentle concern to only love and joy. “I love you too, my Yuri” he said, kissing him once again. “We should get cleaned up” Yuri said, yawning. Together they crawled off of the bed on shaky legs and into the bathroom, helping each other clean up with a clean wash cloth. 

“I’m assuming that I still don’t get to know where my clothes are?” Yuri asked playfully. Victor’s wolfish grin was back. “I told you, they’re yours when you find them. Besides, why would you want clothes when you could sleep naked next to _this_ ” He laughed, gesturing to his own body. Yuri shook his head, smiling. “Come on then. We’ve still got to get up in the morning.”

Despite their playful banter, both men were obviously exhausted. When they finally crawled back into bed, Yuri snuggled closely to Victor, pressing his back against the Russians chest, focusing on the rise and fall of his breathing. Victor reached his arms around and pulled Yuri close before closing his eyes. Before long, both of them were asleep and the moonlight spilled from the window onto their bed, the rings on their fingers glinting between laced fingers. 

***

Before long, Yuri and Victor were back in Hasetsu, only this time Victor was packing to leave. “It’s going to be so weird without the two of you here all the time,” Mari commented as she helped move boxes to the front of the inn. “We kind of got used to having you around again” She said to Yuri. It was definitely going to be different now that Yuri was moving to Russia, but that wasn’t for another several weeks at least. Victor had some things he needed to do before Yuri would be able to move in with him. The most important of those things was probably finding an apartment that was going to fit the two of them. He had sold his old one when he left for Hasetsu last year. It hadn’t made any sense to keep it then, although now both men jokingly agreed that it would have been much easier in the end. 

Of course, no one anticipated that they would be moving back to Saint Petersburg together, much less engaged or even maintaining their coach/athlete relationship past the Grand Prix Finals. Yuri still found himself to be the most surprised of all. As he helped carry the final box out of Victor’s room, he couldn’t help but stop and look back with a twinge of sadness. It felt like leaving for Detroit all over again, and Yuri was never really one to say goodbye. “This isn’t goodbye” he told himself quietly. “This is just us moving on to a new part of our life together in Russia.” And he was excited, truthfully. He couldn’t wait to learn all about Victor’s favorite places and to begin the rest of their lives together. The thought still made him giddy with excitement.

“Yuri, are you coming?” Victor called out from the bottom of the stairs. He turned around quickly, nearly tripping as he shuffled quickly through the hallway. He looked down the stairs to see Victor smiling up at him, silver hair falling over his eye as it always did. “I’m right here” Yuri said, carefully starting down the steps. Victor met him halfway, and helped him take it the rest of the way down. “You’re supposed to be resting your back, remember? How can I compete with you at World Championships if you’re still injured?” The tone was joking, but the message was serious enough. He _was_ supposed to be resting, at least until he got to Russia to see a doctor again. It was so hard though. When something hurt literally every second of the day, things like picking up boxes and adding to the pain for a few minutes just seemed like a minor inconvenience. It was going to hurt whether he helped move them or not so why wouldn’t he just do it?

Of course, that was the mentality that had made it so bad in the first place. If he hadn’t pushed himself so hard throughout the season he wouldn’t be feeling nearly as injured as he did now. Not that Yuri regretted it of course. He had won silver at the Grand Prix Final, which was a far cry better than the last place he got the year before. He beat both personal and world records and for a minute he felt unstoppable. So yeah, the pain was worth it. Victor walked over to Yuri after setting the box outside and hugged him tightly. “I’ll see you in a few weeks my love. You just rest up and make sure you don’t eat too many katsudon, okay?” he said with a wink. Ordinarily, Yuri would have rolled his eyes, but he was too worried about the fact that he and Victor would be apart for more than a few days to be offended. “I’ll do my best” he mumbled back, burying his face in Victor’s shoulder, breathing in the smell of his t-shirt one last time before he left.

“Gosh you guys really are in love aren’t you,” Mari said sarcastically as she watched the couple cling to one another. “It’s not like you’ll never see each other again.” Victor and Yuri both turned their heads to look at her before looking back at each other and taking a small step apart. “Right” Victor said, running a hand through his hair. “Well, anyway, I’ll see you soon. It shouldn’t take too long to find a place to stay and then you’ll be able to come out and it’ll be great. I love you” Yuri smiled before raising up on his toes to press a kiss to Victor’s lips. “I love you too.” They took one last look at each other before Victor walked out the door and closed it behind him. For some reason, Yuri had a feeling that this was going to take a lot longer than anticipated. 

***

It had been one month, two weeks, and two days since Victor had left for Russia. It had taken all of five weeks to find a place to live and another week for Yuri to pack everything from Japan that he would need to take with him. After all, this move was supposed to be a step away from home for good. When he finally got everything together, the closest plane ticket he could find was two days away. And so he waited anxiously to leave, checking and double checking that he had gotten everything until finally he drove his family mad. “Go to the rink. Don’t do jumps, or programs, or combinations, but skate in circles. Do something that isn’t pacing back and forth through the inn panicking!” He sighed. The skates were already packed in one of his bags, along with all of his workout clothes. He didn’t think he would have needed them since he left in less than twenty-four hours anyway. But it was probably only fair that he give his family a break and decided that he should just take a walk instead. 

He followed along the bridge watching the waves crash against the shore, remembering the day that Victor pointed out the birds flying high above them. There were no birds today, but soon enough he would be able to see them in Saint Petersburg just as Victor had remembered them. The thought excited Yuri and he found himself walking towards the public outdoor skating rink where he’d spent so much time as a child. He’d only been here once since then, to recapture his love for the ice when he had been so down after Rostelecom. It had been a good idea and he hadn’t really lost his motivation since then. Coming back from rock bottom hadn’t been easy but at least now when he was struggling it was easier to think of the memories he’d made with Yuko and why he’d began skating in the first place. 

Yuri continued his walk, not really thinking about anything in particular, but rather enjoying the world around him. It was kind of nice not to think for a while, and to just exist. At the same time, he couldn’t wait to get back on the ice, landing jumps and losing himself in the music. When he first became a skater, he was looking for adventure. Who knew that he’d find himself instead?

It was dark when Yuri got home again, and most everyone was asleep. He walked himself to his room, past the room that used to be Victor’s and the storage closet that Yurio had stayed in for his brief duration. When he finally stopped in his own doorway, he looked around at the now mostly impersonal room. All of his important belongings were tucked away neatly into suitcases and the posters and photos that once covered the walls and surfaces were packed with his books and notebooks. The only things that really remained were a few plants along the window and the furniture. It was weird moving away from home, seeing barren shelves and empty walls, just like it had been before he had gotten there. As he crawled into bed for the last time in who knows how long, he thought of how nice it would be to finally sleep beside Victor again. 

Finally, though, it was morning and time to leave. He hugged his family goodbye and looked back one final time to wave before leaving for the airport. “I can’t believe this is actually it” he thought to himself, eager to trade in the skype calls and long distance messaging for actual contact with Victor. The shock of being in love with his idol and actually having the feeling be reciprocated had faded slightly and now it was just disbelief that he was so lucky to have found a person who loved him so much. His skin tingled at the thought of being so close together again. 

The trip to the airport was uneventful, as was the plane ride. Yuri slept through most of it, dreaming of life in Saint Petersburg and training again. That was another thing he missed desperately. He hadn’t touched the ice since the exhibition in Barcelona and the need to get back to the sport was like an itch that just couldn’t be scratched. It lingered day and night, taunting his mind and hiding behind the back pain that had faded but not quite disappeared. And maybe that was the worst part of the situation. He’d kept himself in shape, eating healthy foods and going on walks and even maintaining basic strength but he still couldn’t get the pain to go away. It frustrated him beyond just about anything else at this point.

His dreams to into foggy glances around the plane as it jolted to the ground, waking up several passengers in the process. When his vision finally cleared, it seemed as though he could think properly again as well and was instantly excited about the prospect of seeing Victor in less than an hour. He just had to pick up the luggage and take the bus from the airport to the address Victor had said to meet him. Most of his boxes and belongings were being shipped separately so they’d get those later. 

Twenty minutes later Yuri was on a bus, practically bouncing in his seat as he fidgeted with his hands. He was _nervous_. He didn’t realize it before, but here it was. It had been over a month since they’d seen each other. And even though they’d talked every single day, it was different moving in together like this. There was an aspect of fear that had stayed hidden under all of his excitement and frantic packing. It twisted in his stomach making him wonder if this was actually the best idea. “Of course it’s the best idea” he thought to himself. “We’re getting married we have to move in together at some point. And besides, just because I’m nervous doesn’t mean I’m not insanely excited about it as well” Yuri fought to push all of his feelings down as he got off of the bus, retrieving his suitcase and his backpack in the process. And then there was a dog rushing towards him and he was on his back with a poodle licking his glasses.

“Makkachin!” He exclaimed, never more excited to see the dog in his life. “Were you a good boy? Were you?” Yuri laughed as he ruffled the dogs fur before standing up. “Where Victor?” He asked, looking around for the silver hair and striking blue eyes that he had missed so greatly. And then, it was just like in a movie. They saw one another across the bridge and both of their eyes widened. All of the fear melted in an instant as Yuri ran forward while Victor waved. They crashed into each other’s arms both talking rapidly as they tried to say how happy they were to see one another and how much they had missed them. That was, of course, until Yurio interrupted them with an eye roll and a very sarcastic “Yes it’s just _so great_ to see each other again. It’s not like we haven’t talked to Pork Cutlet Bowl every single day since we left, am I right Victor.”

The two broke apart before Yuri captured Yurio in a hug as well, much to the younger man’s dismay. “Don’t worry Yurio, I missed you too.” The blonde squirmed, trying to get away from Yuri while Victor laughed. “Yurio helped me get the apartment ready while you were in Japan. A lot of the time, he was just mad that I was texting you all day, but everything did get done eventually.” Victor picked up the backpack that Yuri had dropped and then reached his hand out for the Japanese man to take as they walked. “Come on. You’ve got to see it” he said before jumping into a bunch of decisions regarding the room set up and location and training. Yuri watched as Victor talked excitedly, catching the way the sky reflected in his eyes and realized that no matter how nervous he had been before, there was absolutely nothing he wanted more in his life. And then, as Victor continued talking his eyes lit up more and his laugh became more free and all Yuri could think was “This man is going to be the death of me I swear it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *EDIT*  
> I'm sorry for accidentally abruptly ending it the other day! Apparently the last several words didn't copy over but I've fixed it and everything should be fine now!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it took so long to update this. I've been so busy with school and travelling and the inspiration just wasn't coming. But here's another chapter that (to me) is far less exciting than the others but will become crucial to the next part of the story. I hope you all like it!

Yuri woke up to the sun in his eyes. Dust particles floated lazily through the air, shining like stardust as the rays burst through the open curtains. It sounded magical when he put it that way, but at first, all he could think about was his severe lack of sleep. Getting used to the time change between Japan and Russia hadn’t been easy, and he had been struggling to make it work out. “Good morning!” Victor called cheerfully from the side of their room. He was, of course, the one to have opened the window in the first place. 

“We’ve got a lot that we need to do today, but considering it’s already fairly late in the morning, I thought that we could start with brunch?” Yuri groaned, pulling himself further under the blankets and smushing his face into the pillow. “mmmmrrrpph” Victor chuckled, fully expecting this response. “Yes, I understand that you’re tired but don’t you remember what today is?” Yuri thought briefly before remembering, and then lifted his head from the pillow long enough to say “I’m not going.” He returned to his previous position with a sigh. He had promised Victor that he’d go and see a doctor about his back once they’d both gotten comfortable in Russia, and truth be told, he’d procrastinated on that for as long as he possibly could.

“Don’t you think that it’s important to actually go to the appointment though, Yuri? The longer that we put it off, the less likely you’ll be to go and the less likely you are to heal as well.” Victor said, as he sat on the bed beside his fiancé. “This is important. I want you to get back on the ice. Practice is so lonely without you and Yurio is getting far too arrogant.” The last part came out sounding a bit like Victor was whining. Yurio probably was getting difficult though. After all, he was probably one of the only people to both set a world record and win the grand prix final during his senior debut. Not to mention the difficulty of the program that he had put together. By now, he had all the support in the world and all of the confidence to go with it. 

“Fine” Yuri grumbled, managing to drag the blankets from over his head. “But only if you kiss me first. You can’t honestly expect me to wake up to all of this light and not have you beside me.” Yuri had never truly been a morning person, only really able to hide his grumpiness through his exercise, but now that that was temporarily on hold, he was just like a little old man. Victor couldn’t help but love waking up to the disheveled grumbly man every morning. “Yes, of course, I will kiss you.” He said laughing before leaning down and planting their lips firmly together. “Now, are you going to get up on your own, or am I going to have to drag you?” He asked. 

Yuri sat up now, stretching his arms high towards the ceiling. “I’m up, I swear. Let’s just get this over with.” Victor grinned. He knew that Yuri would hate going to the office today, but at the same time, both of them were very ready to get it over with and move on with life. Injuries became more and more tedious as time went on and the longer Yuri was off of the ice, the worse the both of them felt. Victor hated to leave for the rink every day knowing that he was leaving his newfound inspiration behind. Yuri was going insane, trying to find new things to clean or new movies to watch all while dreaming of gliding across the ice. In fact, this injury may have hurt him more mentally than it did physically, which was saying a lot.

“I know a really good place downtown that serves some really great pancakes. I know you don’t usually like those, but these ones are good. More like the ones that you tried in Barcelona than the ones that we tried in China.” Yuri nodded his head while pulling his jacket on. Victor had a great love of breakfast and they never failed to try several new places with each trip they went on. Yuri, however, was decidedly less excited about them, but pancakes seemed to be the exception sometimes. He really liked the ones that had the fruit in them from Barcelona, but found that the ones with chocolate chips had been ruined with mint when he tried them in Detroit. And the ones from China…. Well, they probably weren’t even considered pancakes, but he had eaten them anyway. 

“Wasn’t it you who told me not to reward myself with food all the time?” Yuri teased, brightening up a bit at the idea of pancakes. Victor only laughed, while offering Yuri a jacket from the closet. “Here.” He said, holding it out for the younger man. “You’re going to want this. It’s fairly chilly today.” Yuri took the coat gratefully and shrugged it on before grabbing his backpack. “I think I’ve got everything. These pancakes better be as good as you say they are, or I’m not going to the stupid appointment.” This was less teasing than before, but it didn’t matter. The day had begun and Yuri would follow through with the plans no matter what at this point.

Just as the two walked out of the apartment building, they bumped into Yurio, who was presumably looking for them. The young blond frowned as he ran into Yuri. “Watch where you’re going pork cutlet. We can’t have both of us injured.” It came out harsh, but then, Yurio’s words always did. Yuri knew that he was joking though and only laughed in response. Victor cut in before Yurio could add in another witty comment. “We were just off to get pancakes. Would you like to come?” Victor knew that Yurio hardly ever declined an offer for food, and Yuri shot him a look. He already didn’t want to leave the apartment this morning, but dragging Yurio along with them all day would be less than exciting. After all, he was fifteen and they wouldn’t have time to drive him home between breakfast and the appointment.

Before Yuri could say anything though, Victor began talking again. “Yuri has an appointment for his back today though, so you’d have to come with us for that before we could take you home again.” Yuri frowned. He really didn’t want to bring Yurio along. Actually he didn’t really want to bring Victor along, but he knew that there was no real reason not to and so he had accepted the offer, especially because it was a gesture extended in good nature. Bringing Yurio, on the other hand, would only cause more chaos. “Are you buying the pancakes?” Yurio asked, contemplating his options. Victor nodded cheerfully. “Then I’ll go” Yurio announced. Yuri could only sigh, hoping that this day went by quickly. He was already eager to get back home and snuggle up in his pajamas with Victor and Makkachin. 

The three of them headed towards the bus station, Victor and Yurio chatting casually on the way. Yuri found himself lost in his thoughts as he listened to the sound of the ocean waves. “Yuri, are you listening to me?” Victor said, cutting through the mental conversation Yuri was having with himself. “What’s up?” he asked, slightly startled. He hadn’t realized that he’d zoned out so much. It was happening more and more frequently actually. Maybe the ice had done more for him than he’d thought.

“We were just talking about our favorite kind of pancakes. I know you didn’t like the mint ones, but I couldn’t remember if you disliked the chocolate chips in them as well.” Victor was obviously trying very hard to remember as he pressed one finger to his lips and squinted his eyes while looking into the difference. Yuri never grew tired of the multiple faces his fiancé wore, and was no less starstruck this time than the last. He shook his head slightly, distracting himself from the way the sun shone through Victor’s silver hair to answer, “No the chocolate was good. But the peppermint was a very poor choice. It was too crunchy. Pancakes are meant to be soft and squishy.” Yuri decided. “Oh, so like you” Yurio mumbled. Victor frowned at that. “You know, you’d be soft and squishy too from all the pirozhki you eat. Just because you’re young and small now doesn’t mean you always will be.”

No one really had anything to say back to that, and so the conversation changed to the training schedule. “Yakov gave us all off today considering Georgi was out with his new girlfriend and Mila was busy with family. I was going to be the only one there and I ended up oversleeping through half of warm-up so Yakov just said to stay home.” Yurio explained. Yuri realized that it did seem strange to him that Yurio would be wandering around so early on a week day. “But of course, staying home would have been extraordinarily boring, so I came to find you dorks instead.” Despite Yurio’s constant insults, Victor and Yuri knew that they were at least moderately affectionate. 

The bus arrived then, and it was too crowded for them to really have a normal conversation. It wasn’t usually this busy when they took the bus to practice, but at the same time, they usually went before anyone was travelling to their jobs. When they finally arrived down town, the streets had grown much busier and they slowly made their way towards the restaurant. “Oh look! It’s not all that busy,” Victor said, apparently not noticing the line crowding the doorway as they walked towards it. “Victor, there are fifteen people standing outside of the door. What do you mean it’s not busy?” Yurio argued, gesturing at the small crowd in front of them. “Well, usually it’s a larger crowd. Besides, they know me here. We’ll get in sooner than you think.”

That seemed to be one of the perks of being a star here in Russia. Victor was treated more like royalty than an actual king would have been. Clerks at the grocery store asked for photos and people in lines often let him go first just so they could spend more time in his presence. Yuri often found it annoying, but Victor drank in the attention, absolutely glowing with happiness towards each fan. It seemed to bother Yurio as well, considering it was _him_ who won the Grand Prix Final just a short time ago, in his senior debut no less. Victor Nikiforov was old news as far as he was concerned. But as they neared the line, the crowd parted and the phones came out of pictures as always. Unlike always though, Victor waved them off, saying “I would love to spend time with all of you, but I have many important things to do today, starting with pancakes.” He winked and reached for Yuri’s hand at the same time. 

A woman hurried out the doors of the small restaurant, her apron smudged with flour. “Victor!” she cried out gleefully. “I haven’t seen you in ages! Is this that skater you took off for? He’s quite a charmer” she said as she looked Yuri up and down. It was then that she realized she was referring to someone other than Victor. “I’m Natalya. Victor used to be a regular here, so we know each other quite well. I look forward to getting to know you as well. Your name is Yuri, right?” It seemed that she enjoyed talking just as much as Victor did, and Yuri was happy to let her lead the conversation while following her into the small dining area. “And Yurio, it’s been far too long since I’ve seen you too! You’ve grown again, although you’re just as skinny as before. Have you been eating well?” Yurio nodded, not daring to open his mouth because he knew that he’d only be interrupting the short older woman if he did. “Anyway” she continued, “I already know what Victor will be having. But what about you two?”

It was the first time she’d really stopped talking in the four minutes since they’d met and Yuri was a little startled by the question. “Oh, um I think I’m here to get pancakes” he stuttered. Victor only laughed. “I told him that he could find some fantastic pancakes here. What do you think Natalya?” Yuri frequently got nervous when he talked to the Russians that Victor clearly knew so well, and was even more flustered at the excited nature of this new woman. She nodded. “You’ll find the best pancakes you’ve ever eaten, I assure you of that. And Yurio, what about you? Do you still enjoy the usual? Or have you changed it on me again?” Yurio frowned, trying to decide what to have. “What if I went back to the old regular? I do miss it” he decided. 

Natalya wrote it all down on a scrap of paper. “Yurio usually finds something he likes to eat and doesn’t change it for months but then all of a sudden he finds something else. I always have to ask when I know he’s nearing the end of a favorite.” Suddenly, Yuri felt very out of place. Everyone here knew each other except for him, and it was so very awkward to be standing in the middle of two very established relationships. Victor seemed to notice Yuri’s discomfort and put a hand on his back reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Natalya makes sure that she gets close with everyone who comes in here. It’s her specialty. Pretty soon, she’ll be calling you on Sunday afternoons wondering why you haven’t come in for your usual muffin.” The silver haired man laughed as he talked and Yuri felt himself relaxing a little more. It’s not like there was anything wrong with the setting, he was just an awkward person. But knowing that Victor was comfortable and happy made it easier for him to feel more at home. 

Before long Natalya was gone, handling the group of people out front presumably, and Yuri was left with Victor and Yurio. “So, Pork Cutlet, do you actually plan on healing before you come back to the ice? Or are you just going to wing it like you did at Finals and collapse on the ice again? I honestly thought that Victor was going to come rushing out to save you after that” Yuri could feel his face growing redder as Yurio spoke. He had made a bit of a scene after his short program, and although there was nothing he could do to take it back, he thought about those moments on the ice quite often. He opened his mouth to answer the young skater, but Victor cut him off, doing the talking for him. “He’s healing. No way around it this time.”

Yurio seemed content with the answer and focused again on the idea of breakfast. “I haven’t been here in so long.” He said with wonder, looking around the small restaurant with wide eyes. “I honestly almost forgot to come visit at all.” Victor nodded. “It has become a staple in my routine. Every time I am here in Russia I visit Natalya. It becomes habit after a few times.” The light chatter continued until the food arrived and all conversation stopped as the three dug into their food. “This is amazing” Yuri mumbled through a bite of pancakes. Victor had been right. The food here was far better than any breakfast he’d gotten in any other restaurant. The other two could only nod in agreement as their mouths were too full of food to compose an actual answer. 

The meals were finished rather quickly, and the trio was left feeling full and satisfied to say the least. “I so needed that” Yurio said with a sigh as he finished the last of his breakfast. Victor and Yuri nodded in agreement as Victor got out the proper amount of money to pay for it all. When he tried to pay though, Natalya only waved him off. “This one is on me. It’s been far too long and I’m too glad to see you to charge. Next time though,” she said with a wink. Yuri bowed his head gratefully and they found themselves walking down the street again. “The doctor’s office is only a few blocks away. We can just walk there” Victor said casually as he shrugged on his coat. It was far warmer now than it had been in the morning, but it was still chilly.

“As long as we make it on time.” Yuri said. “I want to get out of there as soon as possible.” He was already looking forward to leaving the place and he hadn’t even set foot inside of it yet. “We’ll be fine,” Victor promised, though he began walking just a tad faster. “Besides, the doctor is nice this time. Another friend of mine, though not as chatty as Petr was.” Yuri was glad to hear that at least. Petr became exhausting after a short while with his small talk and constant rambling. It was hard to keep up with him sometimes, especially when Yuri was already stressed out. 

They reached the office and Victor held the door open for the other two before following closely behind. It was a standard office with a counter behind a window and several chairs lined up along the wall, a play area settled in the corner. Yuri signed himself in and had barely gotten to the chair next to Victor and Yurio before someone came through a door and called his name. Victor put his hand on the small of his back reassuringly, giving Yuri a moment to steady himself before walking through the door and down the hallway. “This is just like last time” he thought to himself as they turned into a small room, much like the last office they’d been in. The questions were mostly the same as well. “When did it start, how does it feel now, does this hurt, does that hurt, what is it like on a scale of one to ten?” So many questions and yet at this point the answers were almost spoken from memory. There was truly nothing new to say except for the fact that the pain hadn’t gone away despite the fact that he wasn’t skating.

Before long the nurse left the room and the three were alone again. “So, this is what it’s like to be injured” Yurio commented as he gazed around the posters on the wall. “Doesn’t seem nearly as scary as you make it seem you know. All you have to do is pretend that you’re answering a crappy interviewer’s questions and before you know it you’re back on the ice doing your thing. Easy enough, right?” Yuri and Victor both laughed. “Leave it to you to turn this into something so simple” Yuri said, his voice dripping with sarcasm and amusement. “Yuri, it’s not a bad idea” Victor said at the same time. Yurio was right though. It was much easier to think of this as a boring news reporter when he was answering questions. That way he’d be honest and sincere without truly worrying about his answers before he gave them. It would definitely make it easier to figure out what was wrong and what to do with the injury in the end.

Yuri was still contemplating this idea when the doctor walked into the room. He briefly introduced himself before leaning against the counter, looking amusedly at Yurio who was spinning around on the stool. “I’ve reviewed your X-Rays and previous notes from the other doctor. They seem fairly clean aside from the fractures in the lower spine. I’m assuming that they’ve gotten worse though considering your lack of rest. Has the pain changed significantly in location or just in level since your last appointment?” He asked, casually flipping through the pages of Yuri’s previous reports. Yuri began to stutter before remembering Yurio’s advice. “It’s just gotten worse, no real difference in the location. Although sometimes my hip hurts more than usual if my back is hurting too badly. I assumed that it was just muscles or something reacting to the injury.” There. That was easier for sure.

The doctor nodded, taking in his answer for a second before explaining. “The reason that you hip would hurt so much is because when you injured your spine, you also stretched out the ligaments surrounding and supporting it. Your body is learning to adjust to a lower level of stability and so your muscles are working overtime to keep your spine aligned and strong. Because of your lack of rest and a lack of proper exercises, they’re struggling. I’d like to start you in physical therapy as soon as possible to work on that core strength. It would help with your back as well as overall, since core strength is extremely important to your sport, yes?”

Yuri and Victor both agreed that core strength was indeed a significant part of figure skating. However, there was a more pressing matter than that. “How long until I’ll be able to skate again without pain then? I haven’t been able to do anything since the Finals.” Yuri said. He was definitely concerned with his lack of practice in the last few months. Victor looked at him quickly, unsure of how he would respond to an answer he didn’t like. The doctor hesitated before answering carefully, “It’s probably not going to heal for at least three months. You’re not just building up to a normal level of strength Yuri, you’re gaining everything that you’ve lost in the last several months as well as everything you’re going to need when you try to return to your sport. The impact of the jumps that you do and the workouts that you generally participate in aren’t good for your body anymore. You’re going to have to completely readjust your training to suit your body. It’s not going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination.” 

 

Yuri could feel his mood darken instantly. Three months was a long time, especially for a skater. There was no way he’d be able to get back in time for World Championships. Actually, he was going to totally miss them at that rate. Maybe it would have been different if he hadn’t pushed himself so hard at throughout the Grand Prix tour but at the same time, he had needed to do well there. It was supposed to be his last time going through the competition cycle. He fought the tears that threatened to fill his eyes and spill down his cheeks, and was slightly startled when he felt a hand on his knee. Victor’s ring glinted in the light as his fingers gently traced patterns across his leg, distracting Yuri from the newfound terrible thoughts. “So after three months I’ll be able to come back?” Yuri asked hopefully, looking for some sort of bright side in the situation.

The doctor nodded. “I believe so. I can’t promise anything as every injury is different but usually with this sort of thing, it works out fairly well in the end. I can’t say that it will never hurt again based on the damage to the ligaments but it shouldn’t be anything too serious.” Yuri nodded, and Victor thanked the doctor. They all shook hands before leaving the small room and walking out into the hallway again. “So, we’ll just call the physical therapy place and get you set up. It shouldn’t be so bad,” Victor said tentatively, knowing that if he was too cheerful Yuri would feel like his feelings were being ignored. “You’ll be alright. We’ll get it taken care of and then you’ll be back on the ice in no time.”

All Yuri could think about was how much time he’d already spent on the sidelines. It felt like there were years between when he’d last skated and now. The Grand Prix was ages ago and here he was, waiting for the time when he could even set foot on the ice again. “It’s so far away though, Victor.” This time, instead of Yuri’s fiancé responding, it was Yurio who had an answer. “Listen Pork Cutlet, at least you can come back at all. Back injuries suck. You screwed up your spine, but not bad enough to do permanent damage, so you could have done worse. The odds of you coming back are better than you not.” Once again, the fifteen-year-old was right. The wisdom in this kid far outweighed his age. He continued spouting random thoughts about how this wasn’t as bad as everyone was making it out to be before asking if he could spend the rest of the day at their apartment. Yuri was glad to have him around, and despite his disappointment in how the day had gone so far, he didn’t mind the idea of spending the rest of it at home. Victor seemed to agree whole-heartedly and the three went home to watch a movie with Makkachin


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's so short, I've been so busy with travelling and things that I just haven't had the time to update it, but hopefully that changes since I'm back home now!

What was originally supposed to be one movie at the apartment turned into three with Yurio sleeping on their couch for the night. Not that Yuri minded. The young skater often found himself spending more time at their place than his own with Yakov and Lilia. As he wrapped a blanket around the boy and made sure that Makkachin was content with sleeping with Yurio as well, he walked softly into the bedroom that he shared with Victor. 

It was a simple room, decorated with only a plant on the windowsill and a few photos framed and placed on the desk and the nightstand. Victor was already in the bathroom brushing his teeth and combing his hair one last time for the day. Yuri walked into the bathroom and stood behind his fiancé, wrapping his arms around the older man’s torso and resting his head on his back. He could hear Victor’s heartbeat, so calm and steady, as compared to Yuri’s own which had felt like it was pounding out an erratic beat all day. They stayed that way until Victor finished with everything and then the silver-haired man gently pulled Yuri’s hands off him. He turned around, wrapping the Japanese man in a hug and running his fingers through long dark hair. The longer they stood there, the harder it was for Yuri to keep his composure. All of the stress and tension that he had felt throughout the day started to manifest itself into tears and a shaking body that he couldn’t control anymore. Victor only held him tighter whispering reassuringly the whole time. “Shhh, I’ve got you.” 

Slowly, Yuri calmed down. The crying turned into wiping stray tears and shaky smiles, which were met with caring eyes and never ending support. “You’re getting better with this whole crying thing” Yuri mumbled, laughing a bit as he said it. It was true. Six months ago, Victor would have stood frozen in place, looking for some kind of way to stop the panic. But that was before the fight in the parking garage, and before they’d been through the rest of the season. A lot had changed and as far as Yuri was concerned, it was all for the better. 

Victor smiled. “Well you know, I kind of have to when I’m with you. There’s a lot going on in that head of yours.” Yuri only nuzzled closer to Victor, expressing his appreciation through actions rather than words. There were many moments where the two would rather communicate that way, especially when they got nervous and caught up in language barriers, though even that was becoming less of an issue. Really, their relationship was fantastic and healthy in nearly every sense.

After a fair amount more of hugging and soothing, it was Yuri who took a step back. “We ought to sleep if we’re trying to get up in the morning. You’ve got training, don’t you? And I’m supposed to start PT at 8:00 a.m.” Victor nodded before turning to head towards the bed. “I could go with you if you wanted” He offered as he walked through their room. Yuri only shook his head. “You’ve taken enough time out of your training for me. I’ll be fine on my own. Besides, it’ll only last an hour or so, right?” He was trying so hard to be optimistic about both his and Victor’s skating careers. Victor was struggling to come back to full strength and the more training he missed for Yuri’s appointments, the guiltier the younger man felt. But at the same time, Victor knew how nervous Yuri got and even though skipping practice felt like a huge blow to his return to the sport, not supporting his fiancé felt even worse. “It wouldn’t matter to me. You know that” the silver-haired man replied flippantly, but Yuri insisted. “You’ve got to skate or Yakov will kill us both.”

And it was the truth. Yakov was already sick of their constant lovebird antics. If either of them missed one more practice for a reason that wasn’t entirely necessary, he would wring both of their necks and make sure that they never had a light day of practice again. Victor chuckled before agreeing. “I guess you’re right. He has been getting rather frustrated with us these past few weeks.” Yuri finished brushing his teeth and crawled into bed beside Victor. “He’ll get over it. Besides, we’re engaged.” Yuri put extra emphasis on the word engaged, eliciting a giggle from the older man. “Yes Yuri. We’re engaged. Now go to sleep. It’s getting late.”

***

It seemed as though everyone was well rested and in good spirits as the three sat around the table for breakfast the next morning. Yurio kept his snide comments to a minimum, even going so far as to wish Yuri luck at his physical therapy appointment before leaving to get ready for practice. As Victor finished washing up the dishes, Yuri took care of cleaning off the table and making sure that the kitchen was once again well organized. As the time went on though, he got less nervous about his appointment and more excited. This finally meant that he was going to heal and get back to doing what he loved. And there was no better feeling than making it one step closer to a goal. 

Victor could sense the eagerness in the other man and pressed a kiss encouragingly to his forehead. “You’ll be back in no time. I can’t wait to hear how it goes.” Yuri tilted his head back and pressed a kiss to the taller man’s lips. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it will be just as boring as every other doctor’s appointment you’ve been to. Good luck dealing with Yakov today. I hope he doesn’t yell too much” he said with a laugh. Victor only shook his head before drying his hands off on a dish towel. “Like I’d listen to him if he did.” Yuri rolled his eyes. “That’s probably why he yells so much, you know. Because you never actually listen to him.” Victor chuckled. “We need to get ready or we’re both going to be late.”

They were changed and ready for their days within minutes. After all, Victor’s skating bag was already packed the night before and Yuri didn’t really need to bring that much to physical therapy. He could just tuck everything he needed into the pockets of his jacket. They left the apartment and walked to the bus stop together. Victor’s bus arrived first and he was sure to give an encouraging thumbs up from the window as it pulled away, leaving Yuri smiling and waving goodbye, the ring on his finger glinting in the sunlight. He looked down at it, remembering that he had originally gotten them as good luck charms, only for them to turn into something much more meaningful. Not that he hadn’t hoped that they would or anything, but Yuri was never the assuming type so when he got them, he truly only meant for them to be for good luck. 

“You’ve got this” he whispered to himself as he put his headphones in his ears and boarded the next bus that arrived. Despite the hundreds of songs he’d been introduced to since arriving in Russia (most of which were from Yurio’s playlist, but some came from Georgi and Mila as well) he chose to listen to his free skate program music from last year. It was a reminder of all that he’d overcome, and all of the amazing things he had experienced in his career as a skater. There was no better song to listen to as he began the next step of the healing process, and he was more motivated than ever when he walked through the doors of the Sports Medicine building. 

When he arrived at the front desk, he noticed a small sign in sheet as well as a plaque noting that this facility was voted number one for the past five years in a row by the Saint Petersburg Medical Board. He wrote his name in small neat letters on the first line of the sign in sheet, and then wrote the time and date of his appointment on the next line. “I guess I go sit down then” He thought to himself, realizing that there wasn’t anyone sitting behind the desk. He found a chair in the corner to sit in, far from the door of the building “I wonder if I’ve come at the wrong time,” he thought before checking in his phone for the date of the appointment. Before he could open the calendar app though, he heard his name being called by who he presumed to be his therapist. “I’m Andrew. I heard you have back problems. I’ve set up a system of exercises that can help that, but first I want to make sure that we’re treating the right thing.” Yuri nearly laughed at the straightforwardness of it all. There was no running around the matter like at all of the doctor’s appointments that started with small talk and then four hundred questions. This was just “Hi, you’re injured, let’s fix it.”

The actual room where the physical therapy took place in had several machines in the center of it with windows on one side facing out into the parking lot and overlooking the school across the street, while the other side had a row of tables set up. Overall, it was rather unexciting. Andrew led Yuri over to one of the tables before pulling a sheet of paper out of the file he was carrying. “I’d just like to go over some of the things in this file before we start. So, you said you got injured performing a jump while skating is that correct?” Yuri nodded his head and they proceeded through the rest of the file quickly. 

“Alright” Andrew announced, clapping his hands together and gesturing for Yuri to stand up. “First things first. We need to work on your core strength and that’s going to mean a lot of work on balance. I’m sure you’ve got great coordination and balance considering your career, but we’re going to focus more on engaging your abdominal muscles while you’re performing. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be hard at first, especially because based on what I’ve seen from your reports and your posture already, you use your hips and back muscles to hold yourself up.”

And so the hour began and after the first twenty minutes, Yuri already felt drained. He knew as a skater that there was a lot of conditioning and strengthening but this was a whole new level of body control. He learned to use the outside muscles of his stomach, and using his diaphragm to breathe rather than his ribcage. As difficult as it was though, he was relieved to be doing something other than sitting on the sidelines for once. 

The time went by quickly, and although he was sweaty and his body was sort of shaking from exertion, Yuri felt better than he had in months. Sure, his back hurt, but at the same time there was a soreness to it that hadn’t been there before. A soreness that meant progress towards getting stronger and for right now that was all that mattered. He smiled as he said goodbye to Andrew and boarded the bus that headed toward the skating rink. He had refused to go there for the past several weeks considering he wasn’t permitted on the ice, but now he wasn’t worried about that. All he wanted to do was go back to the ice, watch his friends skate, and look forward to his future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should also mention at this point that it's becoming kind of difficult to write this as Yuri's injury is based on a back injury that I've been struggling to deal with for over two years now, and most recently, it was career ending for me in sports, so the emotions that come with the writing are a little difficult to deal with sometimes. 
> 
> At the same time, I'd definitely like to finish this fic on a positive note, so I don't intend for Yuri's injury to persist in the way that mine has! There is hope for a happy ending after all!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man here it is... the second to last chapter!  
> It's a longer one, but I hope you'll still enjoy it. There's a little bit of everything in here, but it's 99% happiness so that's always a plus!  
> Anyway, thanks for sticking around through 13 chapters :D

One week had passed since Yuri started physical therapy, and already he was feeling stronger. Little things that used to hurt so badly, like tying his shoes and rolling over in bed, stopped feeling like he was being stabbed and were more like annoying aches. Sure, it still hurt all the time, but he was healing. And every second he spent at the sports medicine office was another second closer to getting back on the ice. And oh, there was a need to get back on the ice. He could feel an impatience growing within him, not unlike the one that had pushed him to finish competing during the Grand Prix season, but this time he was smarter. “I’ll wait until it’s fine this time. That way, I’ll never have to deal with it again. And I’ll finally be able to train here in Russia.”

Victor didn’t know if it was working at this point or not. It was really too soon to tell in any case, but he knew that Yuri seemed happier when he was at the rink now, despite the fact that he wasn’t training. Instead of focusing on his phone, or gazing wistfully at some spot on the ice, Yuri was following the skaters with his eyes as though absorbing every movement, and there was a hunger there too. One that Victor hadn’t seen since before Rostelecom. “You’ll be back, Yuri, and I have a feeling that you’ll be better than ever.”

After two weeks, he was able to stand in the shower for more than ten minutes without feeling like he was going to collapse, and putting pressure on his left leg became bearable again. He watched with eager as eyes as Victor skated across the rink, performing programs that he hadn’t quite finished choreographing but looked beautiful nonetheless. World Championships was coming up and the main contenders all had programs choreographed by the veteran Russian. “Just another achievement to add to the collection” Yuri thought to himself, smiling. Victor never ceased to amaze him. He couldn’t wait to compete alongside him, again, especially after all they’d overcome. 

For the first time in weeks, Yuri wasn’t slow in putting his shoes on. Victor smiled, though not when Yuri could see him, because the younger man would surely roll his eyes, but he smiled nonetheless. They went to breakfast, chatting eagerly with Natalya for an hour or so, and when she mentioned Yuri’s back, he didn’t cringe anymore. Instead he smiled and told her about how excited he was to get back on the ice and how nice it was to finally be getting better. Victor reached for Yuri’s hand under the table and they didn’t let go until their food came. 

Three weeks later and halfway through his recovery time. Yuri realized he woke up without pain one morning. Of course, it got worse throughout the day, but it was the first time in months that he hadn’t felt the invisible knife twisting inside of him. He smiled the whole way through breakfast and even the clean-up afterwards, leaving Victor curious as well. When the silver haired man asked what had gotten his Yuri into such a joyful mood, the younger man had only replied with an even bigger smile and a kiss. Finally, things were falling into place exactly as they were supposed to, and the surprise of being pain free, even if it was just for a short while, left Yuri with more determination and excitement than he thought was possible. His hunger to get back on the ice was more powerful now than ever.

Victor didn’t know what was going on, on that casual Wednesday morning, but he knew that he hadn’t seen Yuri get out of bed so cheerfully in all of the time that they’d been together. He wasn’t a morning person at all, but that day was different. Victor made them eggs for breakfast that morning, and asked what had Yuri so excited. Of course, he wouldn’t answer, he never did really when it came to feelings, but right now that didn’t really matter. The sparkle that he had missed so much was back and that was what was important.

The fourth week was hard. There wasn’t really a time that he wasn’t in pain, though the severity of it had gone down. The exercises Yuri was doing at physical therapy were getting harder and he left every session feeling less like he accomplished something and more like he was failing. “Should I have been doing more of the exercises at home? Was I doing too much at home and that’s why I’m tired? Is this just not going to work?” It was amazing how a mindset could change so drastically, when just last week he had been more motivated than ever. 

Victor noticed right away that something had changed. Yuri was tired and he seemed less focused than the previous weeks. He asked what was wrong, but Yuri only shrugged his shoulders. “I’m fine. Just tired.” Victor let the subject drop, knowing that his fiancé wouldn’t talk about it no matter how hard he pushed, and that if it was something truly serious, then they would talk about it. Instead, he made sure to make the bed just the way that Yuri liked it in the morning so that when they settled down at night, there was no battle over who hogged the sheets. One morning, when he knew that Yuri had therapy later, he went to the grocery store early in the morning, before most of the world had gotten up, and bought a cupcake. Skaters didn’t eat junk food, especially when they were recovering and they had to be more health conscious than ever, but this week, he needed it. 

On the fifth week, Yuri felt revived. The last week had been hell, but this week he knew what he was walking into and the love and support from Victor only added to it. All of the sweet gestures from the week before had strengthened him for this week, along with the fact that he was in the home stretch and felt better than ever. His back hardly hurt during the days, and only really got sore during the physical therapy sessions. At the rink he was more alert and excited than ever. Even Yakov seemed to notice, sending curious glances at him from the other side of the rink. 

Again, Victor noticed immediately when things had changed. Yuri stood taller, smiled wider, and focused more on skating and his exercises more than anything. One night, as they were sitting on the couch watching a movie he said, “Victor, let’s go over the videos from the Finals. I want to know what I did wrong so that I can visualize it more in the next week. That way, when I’m back on the ice, I’ll be ready.” And so they sat, pressed close together on their couch, pointing out different pieces of the choreography and techniques. The time passed so quickly and before the two knew it, it was after midnight. “Yuri, I’ve got to get up early tomorrow. Yakov wants to add in another choreography session so that I can decide which version of the program I’m using.” It came out as a whine, but Yuri just laughed. “Victor, if he didn’t make you decide now, you wouldn’t know which one to use until the competition itself arrived.”

And finally, it was the last week. Yuri walked into his last appointment with confidence, going through the different exercises easily and eagerly. For the first time in months, he felt unstoppable. “I can do this” he said to himself, over and over again. And when he got the official papers that he was cleared to return to activity slowly, but completely he was filled with excitement. He got to the rink as fast as he could, nearly tripping on the stairs leading up to the front door. Yuri ran through the hall and into the rink, sure that he looked like a crazy man as he waved his clearance paper in the air. This was the moment that he had been working so hard for. All of the time and patience he had put into this recovery had paid off. And then Victor was there at the side of the rink, smiling widely and reading the paper before wrapping Yuri into a hug that was so tight, the younger man thought he would break again.

And then of course, there was the usual angry bark from Yakov telling Victor to quit slacking off and go through his free skate already. He took eight months off, he didn’t need any more time. Yuri laughed and waved him off. “Go. You need to train. I’ll be here when you’re done, I promise.” As much as Yuri wanted to put his own skates on, he knew that he had to wait until Victor was done. After all, he was still his coach. Victor smiled and kissed the other man quickly before returning to his training. 

Two hours later, Victor was done with his practice. He changed as quickly as he could before running out to meet Yuri, with Yurio following close behind. “So, pig, you’re ready to train again.” Yuri smiled. “You’d better believe it. Which means you have to start working hard again.” Yurio scowled, even though it was just friendly banter. There was nothing that got him more flustered than someone saying he didn’t work hard, joking or not. “Just remember, I’m the one who beat you at the Finals.” Yuri didn’t have a chance to reply before Victor said, “Don’t forget who you’ll be competing against though boys. I still hold the overall record, and I have no intention of leaving the program records alone either.” This was it. This was the competitive spirit that Yuri had been missing so much for the past months.

They continued their joking for a few more minutes, only for Victor to break it apart. “Don’t you want to get back on the ice Yuri? We should go and eat lunch before your training session.” Yuri looked up at him with wide eyes. “Is that even a question?” He asked before throwing his bag back over his shoulder. “We need to go fast, though. I don’t think I can be in this rink for one more minute without getting back onto that ice.”

***

An hour and a half later, Yuri was lacing up his skates for the first time since the Finals. He stood up, grinning at Victor, who seemed just as excited as his student. “Well, what are you waiting for. Get out there.” Despite his excitement, the first step Yuri took onto the ice was hesitant. He brought his second foot onto the ice and pushed towards the center of the ice. He closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of the cold air on his face, gliding effortlessly across the freshly cleaned surface. When he finally stopped in the center of the rink, he felt Victor glide up behind him, wrapping his arms around the smaller man’s torso. “You’re supposed to start slowly, right?” he asked, his voice low and sultry. “Why don’t you run through your short program, minus the jumps and difficult turns. Just get used to the ice again.” Yuri swallowed and nodded. “And to get you in the mood,” Victor added, “I just thought I’d let you know that I’ve missed seeing you in those tight clothes.”

Yuri’s body stiffened, and just the feeling of Victor’s breath in his ear was enough to cause the muscles in his stomach to tighten. He pushed away and got into his beginning pose, waiting for Victor to start the music. He took a deep breath, savoring this moment, the return that he’d been waiting for. “This… this was worth it.” He thought to himself, realizing that he hadn’t stepped on the ice without pain for… well he didn’t even remember how long it was. But it felt _good_ to be back. And then his music started and he forgot everything that he had been thinking about before. All he knew was Eros and skating and that was all Yuri needed. Right now, he didn’t need high technical scores or complicated spins and sequences. He needed the ice and the undivided attention of Victor. 

And then, before he knew it, he was standing in his ending pose, breathing heavily, grinning. It was in no way flawless, and the Eros was less sexy and more joyful at times, but it was his program and he was _back_. Before he knew it he was wrapped in Victor’s arms again, and the both of them were standing there, smiling like idiots, and holding onto each other. Neither of them realized just how taxing this injury had been on the two of them until it was gone. “Thank you” Yuri whispered to Victor. “For your patience. And support. And for putting up with my crazy, emotional self.” Victor just laughed. He moved so that the two were looking directly at each other. “Yuri, I would do anything for you. You know that. I’m just happy that you’re back.” 

***

Later on, after the emotional rollercoaster that had been practice, Yuri stood in the bathroom of the apartment, and stared into the mirror. “Do I look different now? I certainly feel different. Stronger, maybe, and happier for sure.” He stayed there, frozen until Victor knocked on the door. “Yuri, can I come in?” Victor asked cheerfully. Yuri opened the door, watching as the silver-haired man dropped a pile of clothes on the counter. “I figured you’d want some clothes to change into after you showered.” And then looking at the pile, “I also figured I’d need some clothes after I’d joined you.” It was as much a self-invitation as it was a question. Yuri hesitated, eyes widening. They’d been naked together before, more times than he could count in the Onsen, and of course in the dark in bed. 

This was an intimacy they hadn’t shared yet. And it had been such a crazy amazing day already. And still he hesitated. “You’re nervous. Why?” Victor asked quietly. Yuri frowned, and looked at the floor. He shouldn’t be like this. Today had been such a high, and he hadn’t been so happy in months. Not to mention that having sex with his fiancé had been postponed for the longest time, between the move to Russia and the crippling pain that hadn’t really allowed for much of anything outside of basic movement, but now all of that was gone. “It’s so…. Open.” Yuri stumbled over the words, knowing that he didn’t make any sense. Victor nodded. “It is. It’s a lot of trust and being with the person you love in such an exposed way is different from anything else. But Yuri, you know that I won’t do anything to make you upset. So, we don’t have to do this. You’ve had a long day.” Yuri shook his head instantly. 

“I want this. I want you more than anything,” Yuri admitted, and then he brightened. “Today is a fantastic day to try new things, though isn’t it? I mean, we’re together on the ice again, and nothing hurts and everything is back the way it should be. So yes, I want you. In the shower, or on the bed, or on the kitchen counter or anywhere else you feel like. Because right now, I just need you.” Yuri had barely finished speaking before he felt their lips crashing together with desperation, Victor’s fingers getting tangled in Yuri’s hair. “I love you so much, my Yuri.” He whispered before kissing him again. “I love you too” Yuri answered, panting. He let his fingers trail to the waistband of Victor’s sweatpants, tugging at the strings eagerly. He could feel Victor’s smile against his own. The Russian took a step back, though only for a second to get his shirt off, and then pull Yuri’s over his head. 

Finally, Yuri worked out the knot on Victor’s pants and they came off just as quickly as the shirts had. This wasn’t like the other times they’d been together. This was needy and sweaty and uninterrupted. Neither of them could hold back any longer and once their lips had locked for the first time that night, Yuri knew that there was no turning back. Victor’s hands fell from Yuri’s hair, his nails dragging down Yuri’s back and not stopping until the two of them were wearing nothing but their underwear. And then Victor was pulling Yuri’s cock from his pants and running his fingers along the shaft. Yuri gasped at the sensation and pulled Victor closer to him with one hand, while the other fumbled blindly for the shower knobs. He pulled away for just a second while Victor focused his attention their very erect selves. 

The water heated up quickly and the air in the bathroom became steamy…. Well, steamier than it already was, and then without Yuri even realizing it they were both naked and standing apart from one another. Victor shamelessly took in Yuri’s body, his gaze dragging across every inch of the man standing in front of him. When their eyes finally met again, he smiled his wolfish grin. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” He asked before stepping into the shower and holding his arm out, not unlike the first time Yuri had seen him naked in the Onsen. Yuri blushed and accepted the hand, stepping into the tub before pressing their lips together once again. “You have,” he whispered, his hands travelling over his fiancé’s body lingering over the well-stomach muscles and smooth chest. 

Victor let out a low growl as Yuri’s fingers found his nipples and he tilted his head to gently nip at the sensitive skin under Yuri’s ear. Long slender fingers trailed down into the cleft of Yuri’s cheeks and then to the sensitive opening hidden between them. Conveniently enough, Victor had put the lubricant behind a bottle of shampoo on the highest shelf of their shower rack, so it was easy enough to get his fingers slicked and ready. But of course, this was the one thing that no matter how desperate the two were, they had to be careful not to go too quickly. Victor gently eased one finger into Yuri’s back passage, making sure that his muscles were fully relaxed before curling it inside of him. When Yuri’s gasps turned into whimpers, Victor added a second finger, his cock hardening at the thought of being inside Yuri. He scissored his fingers, watching Yuri’s eyes for any signs of pain, but Yuri was lost in the sensations of the water beating down upon him with his lover’s fingers inside of him. “Yuri, turn around” Victor practically growled, pulling his fingers out and helping the younger man turn to face the wall. 

Yuri turned and dutifully spread his legs, pressing his palms against the wall, eagerly awaiting Victor’s fingers filling him up again. He moaned in satisfaction as the fingers were reinserted, but deeper this time, just grazing that point of pleasure. Yuri wiggled his hips, trying to get the digits to hit that one spot and frowned when he felt Victor pull his hand away. Victor chuckled behind him, seeing how desperate his love was. “Still good my love?” He asked, giving Yuri one last chance to back out before they finished what they started. Yuri looked back, his eyes dark and answered, “Do you really have to ask.” Victor took his cue and pushed three fingers into his hole, focusing more on stretching this time than pleasure. Yuri couldn’t take it anymore. “Just get on with it already. I need you Victor.” It wasn’t often that Yuri said anything during sex. Actually, he made a point of being rather quiet, stifling his sounds with pillows or kisses, but tonight there was no room for that, with his hands on the wall and ass high in the air. Victor gently aligned himself before pushing himself in slightly, allowing Yuri to adjust before pressing the whole way in. 

“Yuri, I won’t last long with you like this.” Victor said as he began moving in and out slowly. Yuri shook his head, muscles clenching around Victor’s cock. “I won’t either.” And together, they fucked in the shower. It made everything else that they’d done until now feel gentle, almost like child’s play. Victor began moving faster and their breathing became more labored, every movement paired with a fire that neither of them had been able to express before. Yuri felt Victor twitch inside of him, unable to hold back any longer and could only utter the word “yes” before they came together, gasping from the exertion. Victor pulled out, and moved the wet hair from his eyes. Yuri stood up and turned around. “That was good.” He said, smiling. Victor returned the expression and nodded. “Better than good. That was incredible.” He reached up and brushed a piece of hair from Yuri’s face. “Better get you cleaned up now, yeah?” He said, gesturing to Yuri’s leg, which was now covered. Yuri’s face grew red and he nodded, reaching for a washcloth while Victor got the soap. 

The older man reached for the cloth, insisting upon washing Yuri himself. “You’ve had a long and busy day. You deserve to be taken care of” he said softly, gently washing along Yuri’s back and down his legs. Yuri closed his eyes, embracing the feelings of water running down his body, the soft washcloth tracing patterns on his skin. When Victor was done, he stepped back, putting the washcloth off to the side. Yuri opened his, and gestured towards the soap. “Can I wash you now?” He asked, almost innocently. It was amazing how they could do the things they did together and then Yuri would turn into his usual innocent self, wide-eyed and soft, the complete opposite of the Eros he was so capable of. Victor smiled and then nodded. “But let’s wash your hair first.” He said, dumping a fair amount of shampoo into his hand and rubbing it through Yuri’s hair. He pulled it up into a mohawk, giggling a little bit. 

Yuri smiled. It looked like he wasn’t the only one who could act like a child sometimes. Victor ran his fingers through the thick hair, probably longer than was necessary before gently turning Yuri towards the water. “Come on, we’ve got to rinse it now.” The suds trailed down Yuri’s back with the water in small rivers. And then it was Yuri’s turn to wash Victor. He held up the wash cloth hesitantly, putting the soap on it and gently reached for Victor’s arm. Slowly, he drug the rag up his arm, making sure that he didn’t miss any spots. The intimacy of his actions sharply contrasted the needy fucking they had being doing just minutes ago, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was Victor was trusting Yuri with his body, and Yuri took his time making sure every inch of it was clean. He washed his chest and stomach, admiring the way the toned muscles felt through the cloth, and then how strong his back was. From the long slender neck to the strong and toned calves, everything about Victor was perfect. Yuri had never felt so lucky to have fallen in love with his idol. 

He gently nudged Victor towards the water, rinsing all of the bubbles off, and then reaching for the shampoo. It didn’t take long to get the silver hair lathered, after all it was fairly short in most places. Though Yuri tried, he couldn’t quite get it to form much more than a ball on top of Victor’s head, but it was still funny to try. They laughed as Victor stepped back to rinse the suds out of his hair and then turned the water off. “You must be exhausted,” Victor said as he handed Yuri a towel, noticing the other man yawning. Yuri nodded, pulling his sweatpants on over his boxers. “A lot of… rigorous activity will do that to you” he answered with a smirk. Victor chuckled. “Well, let’s get you into bed then. Now that you’re back, we’re on our old schedule again, which means training bright and early tomorrow morning.” Yuri’s eyes lit up. He had almost forgotten that he was back to the ice for real this time, painless and ready to work hard. 

The two brushed their teeth and walked into the bedroom, making sure that everything was ready for the next day. “I’m pretty sure I’ve told you this no less than a hundred times today, but I love you” Yuri mumbled into Victor’s chest as they curled up under the blankets. Victor kissed the top of Yuri’s head. “You could tell me a million times, and I’d still never be sick of it” He said before adding softly, “I love you too, my Yuri. And I’m so proud of you.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The final chapter!!

Weeks had passed since Yuri was cleared, and his body had never been better. He thought about how hard it was to run just a few months ago, when now even Victor was having trouble keeping up with him. “You may beat me in our workouts because of your stamina Yuri, but I will beat you at World Championships, simply because I am flawless,” Victor joked, panting as he finally came to a stop beside his fiancé. The competitive nature was really coming out in the two of them, though mostly only in the things that took place outside of training. When Yuri watched Victor performing his programs, he was merely there to support the love of his life, and there was no true rivalry until the practice was over. It was the same when Victor was Yuri’s coach. If anything, the Russian pushed him harder than he ever had before, critiquing every move until it was absolutely perfect. 

At home, though, it was all about who could do it better, or faster, or who was stronger (all in good nature of course.) If Yuri could wash the dishes in twenty minutes, Victor could do it in ten. If Victor could run five miles, Yuri ran six. At the end of the day, none of these little things mattered, but the apartment was cleaner than it had ever been, and the two were so incredibly happy to be with each other. 

Yuri sat down in the snow, tilting his head back to catch the snowflakes on his tongue. Victor laughed and sat beside him, admiring the way Yuri’s eyes sparkled with childish wonder, and the blush on his cheeks that was growing from the cold. “He’s so beautiful and he doesn’t even know it” Victor thought to himself. The snow started to come down a little heavier now, and the wind was picking up. They were supposed to get a storm this weekend, although the harsher weather wasn’t supposed to start until later this afternoon.

“Maybe we should get back home, and get inside before it gets to nasty out, yes?” Victor asked, brushing snowflakes from Yuri’s cheek with a gloved finger. “After all, you wouldn’t want to get sick and miss practice after you’ve just gotten back.” Yuri smiled. “You’re right, we should. But let’s go the long way, on the trail instead of the road. There’s bound to be a ton of people out today, preparing for the storm and everything.”

Victor nodded and stood up, offering his hand to Yuri for assistance. They usually walked the long way anyway, since it was quieter and they could spend more time holding hands and chatting as they went. Suddenly Yuri laughed. “God, we’re so cliché, aren’t we? Always taking longer paths and holding hands like school children in love.” The older man grinned. “Are you kidding? We’re totally the grumpy old couple who battles over which one lost the TV remote.” At that they both laughed because it was pretty true for the most part. “Well, whatever we are,” Yuri said, “we’re good together.” 

“The best” Victor said, agreeing. And so, they clasped hands, taking the long way home and admiring the way the ice looked on the trees as they walked by. Yuri felt a happiness blooming inside of him, reaching from his heart into his fingers and toes, a trail of warmth that even this Russian cold couldn’t touch. Yes, they were the best together. 

***

Training for the World Championships had come and gone so quickly it was unreal. Yuri looked down at the plane ticket in his hand with disbelief. “I’ve never been to Finland before,” he mumbled, clutching Victor’s hand tightly. He was undoubtedly excited, but he was terrified as well. “Don’t worry, Yuri. I’ve been there, I know where we’re going. You’ll love it there.” Victor responded calmly. Yuri only nodded. It wasn’t the new place that he was worried about, despite it being the only thing he had said about leaving since they’d arrived at the airport. He was far more worried that he wasn’t ready. How many weeks had he spend on the sidelines? How many times had he gone over his programs in the past weeks, and was it even enough? He couldn’t have this be like his first Grand Prix Finals, and he wouldn’t have Victor with him the whole time because he’d be competing as well. 

Yuri took a deep breath, putting most of his energy into calming himself down. There was no reason to panic right now, after all they still had a long flight ahead of them. “I’ll be fine,” he thought to himself, thinking of all that he’d improved on in the past several weeks. “I’ve solidified my step sequence more than ever, and I’ve got the high difficulty fairly consistent, despite my absence from the ice.” He went through the motions of his programs, thinking not of each individual piece but of the music and how his body translated it into a story. “If I focus on the performance, the other pieces will fall into place, but if I worry too much about the jumps and turns, I’m almost sure to flub them all.” He was interrupted from his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder. 

“Yuri, we’re boarding now.” Victor said, gently guiding him forward in the line. Yuri nodded and smiled up at the older man. “We’re going to World Championships.” He said, almost excitedly. No matter how worried he was, Yuri still struggled to contain his excitement when he thought of sharing his first World Championships competition with Victor. It was something he had dreamed of since he was a child, but now it meant so much more. After all they’d been through together in the last year, every day of training and every competition they shared felt like an achievement only made more sweet by spending it at the others side. 

Victor put his arm around Yuri and pulled him closer. “Of course, we are. We’re the best in the world, what else would you expect.” He said with a wink. There was no question of who this competition was really between. Victor, the reigning world champion was returning for a shot at his sixth consecutive title. Yurio, the recent Grand Prix winner and first year senior, would be competing for the first time and of course Yuri. Each of them could hit perfectly performed programs and it would still be difficult to tell who won, especially considering Victor and Yuri now shared the same high level of difficulty. Yuri felt himself blushing at the fact that Victor considered him a part of the “best in the world.”

Not that he hadn’t earned it. Yuri’s confidence had grown significantly and he didn’t even question it himself most of the time. He had earned his spot, only missing the Grand Prix title by tenths of a point, not to mention the fact that he had gotten second in the Cup of China. It was just that sometimes he struggled to put himself on the same playing field as Victor, who was still his idol and greatest inspiration after all of these years. 

They boarded the plane in silence, focusing more on getting through the small crowd of people and into the cabin. Once they had finally gotten to their seats though, Victor began talking to Yuri, telling him all about the mountains and bits of culture that he had remembered from his previous visits. “There’s really no place quite like it” he mused, putting a finger to his lips. “Although my favorite place is still Barcelona” he said with a smirk. “Of course it was” Yuri thought to himself. That was where they’d gotten their rings, and where Victor had won the Junior world championships. That place carried many fond memories for the Russian, and that only added to the grandeur of the city itself. 

As the plane took off, Yuri found himself gazing out the window, almost sure that he’d get no sleep at this point. Victor scooted closer to him, moving the arm rest up so that there was nothing between them. “You’re worried about something else Yuri I can feel it. What’s going on?” Yuri bit his lip still staring out the window, though he could feel the blush rising in his cheeks. He really didn’t want to talk about it here, on the airplane while everyone else was trying to sleep. Victor noted the reluctance in his love and pulled out a sheet of paper instead. “Would you rather write it down?” 

It was a system that they’d come up with recently, when Yuri’s frustration was holding him back from actually speaking. Instead of Victor getting frustrated as well, he had pulled out his phone and offered it to Yuri to write how he felt instead. With wide eyes, Yuri had accepted the device and written a small paragraph about being angry that he wasn’t back to the difficulty he had been at before his time off yet. 

Ever since then, when Yuri couldn’t quite seem to speak and think at the same time, he wrote it down. Today, when he accepted the paper, he wrote “It’s been too long. I’m not ready.” He didn’t need paragraphs or long sentences to describe the knot that had formed in his belly, but Victor took a long time before responding. He thought for a good while before writing back, “you’re not the level you were before. But you aren’t supposed to be. This is still the building time coming back from your injury. It’s not about performing your best ever. It’s about performing as best you can considering the circumstances.” Victor was right, and he’d been telling Yuri this every day for weeks now, but still, the Japanese skater wouldn’t take any of the pressure off of himself.

“But I’m back. I’m supposed to be fine. And yet I still look like I’ve only been on the ice for a few weeks. Did I really lose that much while I was gone?” His frustration was becoming more evident in the writing as the letters got sloppier. Victor instantly wrote back “You didn’t just lose it while you weren’t on the ice Yuri. Just because you competed your best at the finals doesn’t mean you were at your best all the time. Pure adrenaline is what got you through that program, topped with your belief that you could do it. Right now you’re down on yourself and you’re expecting more than what you were capable of on a normal day three months ago. You need to trust me when I tell you that you’re fine.”

Yuri moved to write again, but put down the pencil and nodded. It was never easy for him to fight his emotions, but right now he knew he needed to. He put his head on Victor’s shoulder and closed his eyes, trying to drown out his mind with the sound of Victor’s breathing and the feeling of warm arms wrapped around him. Victor gently took the paper and folded it into his pocket, just in case they would need it again at some point during the flight. He looked down at Yuri, and brushed a piece of hair out of his face. “There is no achievement that does not come with its own unique challenge Yuri. You’ve been working through this one for a while, but now is the time to overcome it.” Victor thought before closing his own eyes and dreaming of his first competition since his brief time away from the ice. 

They arrived in Finland only hours later, and the two were awakened by the jolting landing of the plane on the runway. Yuri moved to sit up, looking out the window at the low hanging clouds and seemingly gray landscape. “Is it supposed to snow?” he mumbled, trying to adjust his glasses in the process. Victor proceeded to stretch his arms and shake his head, indicating that he didn’t know either. As they slowly stood up and shuffled out of the plane with everyone else, they became more awake. “We’re here Victor. We’re actually here.” Yuri said with awe. Victor chuckled. “You just don’t get over the excitement. do you?” Yuri blushed. “Well, it’s not like I’ve done this before or anything!” He said defensively.

Victor only laughed again. “Don’t worry. It’s just as exciting the sixth time around as it is the first. Except you’re a little more accustomed to the travel and you have a better idea of where you’re going.” Yuri laughed too. “Well I’m glad that one of us has a slight sense of direction, because I have absolutely none.” It was true. If they followed Yuri’s instructions, they’d end up on the other side of town with no clue about how to get back. 

As they walked through the airport, Yuri noticed several other athletes wandering around, though none of which were going to be attending the Figure Skating events. There were skiers carrying their boots and wearing national team jackets and lugers who were sitting in a corner chatting. It was the end of the season for everyone it seemed, and they were all heading home to celebrate the memories and successes, or to address their failures in preparation for next season. As an athlete, he’d always had an admiration for competitors of other sports, but Yuri had never really noticed them in everyday settings like this until now. It was fascinating and exciting all at once. Victor seemed to notice his gaze bouncing between groups of people and smiled.

“They’ve just finished their World Cup tours and are probably heading home for the season. Either that or they’re going to compete in one final event, like nationals or a World Championships before they take a short break.” He explained, gesturing towards a group of skiers in the corner. “See them for instance? They’ve got their last world cup in Canada this weekend. Then their season is over.” Yuri looked up at Victor with wide eyes. The older man only shrugged. “You make a lot of friends when you start making a name for yourself in the world. You’re almost there, you’ll see. Once you have another season of making Finals and things, you’ll be at the Galas and Banquets with them too.”

Once again, Yuri felt so inadequate. Sometimes, even being in the presence of Victor was humbling. It was just one of the million reasons he looked up to the man. And he was so casual about it all too. Regardless, it was amazing to be surrounded by so many incredible individuals and to be walking hand in hand with the love of his life through such a mundane setting. When they finally made baggage claim, he was practically ready to run outside. It was far too warm and crowded in the airport for him, and he yearned to feel the fresh air on his face. 

Just as it was starting to become almost unbearable, the carousel began moving and their bags were rolling in front of them. Quickly, they grabbed their things and headed outside. “You know, we have time to do a little sightseeing before we head to the hotel tonight” Victor said casually. Yuri grinned. “Sounds fantastic. Do you know of any good places to eat first? I’m starving.” Victor feigned hurt. “Me? Know of any place to eat? What a question.” Yuri rolled his eyes. “Okay, let me phrase it differently. We’re prioritizing food on the sightseeing tour because if we don’t, I will collapse to the ground due to a lack of nourishment.”

“Oh, so dramatic,” Victor said with a sigh. “I suppose we can add food into our schedule, although it’s going to be tight, because I was hoping to visit…” Victor continued on with all of the places he had intended to show Yuri, though the other man wasn’t focused on the words, but rather the world around them, getting caught up in the fresh air and looming clouds. “Yuri, are you even listening? You can’t possibly be distracted by the sky, it’s so grey and drab, as compared to me, standing beside you!” It seemed that Victor’s flare for drama was coming out full-force since arriving in Helsinki. 

“You’re right. So tell me again, where are we going?” Yuri said apologetically, allowing Victor to lead the way towards the buses. “Well, first we’re going to drop the stuff off at the hotel, because we’re not going to want to carry it around the city. Then we’re going to a place whose primary specialty is fish, which I thought would make you feel a little more at home, despite the fact that it’s not Japanese cuisine. Then we were going to go to the shopping district, because that’s important, and then I had a surprise for you but you don’t get to know where that is because it would kind of ruin the surprise.” Yuri grinned. “Sounds perfect” he said, squeezing Victor’s hand. It was so typical of the Russian to come up with a surprise even when there was no real reason to. Regardless, Yuri was excited to spend another day touring with his fiancé, enjoying the scenery and culture.

*** 

Several hours later, full of food and weighed down by shopping bags, Victor turned to Yuri with a smile. “It’s time for the surprise. But you’ve got to promise not to ask any questions, okay?” Yuri frowned slightly, wondering what could be so much of a surprise that Victor wouldn’t even let him guess at it. He agreed though, sure that whatever it was, he would be happy to at least see Victor happy about it. “Alright, I promise. No questions.” Victor clapped his hands together, his smile growing wider. “Excellent. Now, we have to go this way, so come along!”

Yuri followed Victor, who was walking rather quickly towards the center of the city. It was getting dark now, and the streets were lit by lamps and string lights hung between the buildings. Finally, they reached their location. Nestled in the middle of the city was a small public skating rink, which was relatively empty with the exception of a few children who were being watched by their parents. It had begun snowing about an hour earlier and the flakes were fat and fell so slowly. It was the perfect image of a romantic occasion. Yuri opened his mouth to comment how beautiful it was, but he was silenced when Victor pressed a kiss to his lips. “Just be quiet for now. Let me do the talking.”

The Russian stepped back and got down on one knee in the middle of the square. “Now before you say anything, I know we’ve already exchanged rings and that we’ve promised each other forever, but I never got to say all that I had planned to, so what better a time than now?” Victor paused for just a second, giving Yuri a chance to absorb what was happening before he continued. 

“Yuri, I told you once that you made the music with your body when you skated. I was wrong. You made music so much more often than just on the ice. Everything that you do forms a symphony more beautiful than my favorite songs could ever hope to achieve. The love that you put into all that you do forms ballads and your laughter is more joyful than anything I’ve ever heard. There is nothing you do that doesn’t create some sort of echoing sound that I want to play on repeat for the rest of my life. I came to Hasetsu to coach you, and because I was inspired by you, but I had no idea that you’d help me find myself as well. You welcomed me into your home, made me a part of your family, showed me your town, all because I’d shown up at your door. Forget the fact that I was your childhood idol, you treated me like a person and no one had ever done that before. In the months that we’ve spend together, you’ve taught me how to be in love and just how powerful that can be. Every moment I spend away from you, whether we’re a thousand miles away, or one of us is at the store while the other is cleaning up the house, there’s an ache in my chest that can’t be satisfied until we’re together again. So Yuri, I’m asking you, although we’ve already kind of done this, - will you marry me?”

Yuri could feel his breath catch at the last words, and the tears that had already been flowing down his cheeks froze. “Y-yes” He managed to stutter out, falling to the ground in front of Victor and wrapping him a hug, his body shaking with sobs. “Yes, of course I will.” Victor smiled, tears filling his own eyes. It was so strange to be crying over something that had already been decided, but at the same time, they had been lacking this moment in their relationship and it only felt right to make it official here, at the World Championships after all that they’d battled together. “My Yuri, I love you so very much,” Victor whispered into Yuri’s shoulder, not even sure if the other man could hear him properly at first, but then he heard a muffled “I love you to Victor,” and his heart swelled even more.

The two stayed like that for several more minutes, clinging to one another and crying before a child walked by shouting, “Mommy they’ve frozen!” Yuri laughed and sat up, wiping the tears from his eyes. “I guess we have been here a while” he said, still crying. Victor smiled as well, and moved to brush the tears from Yuri’s cheek. “That’s okay. I’d stay frozen with you anytime” He said with a wink. “But we probably should get back to the hotel. Official training begins tomorrow, and we wouldn’t want to be sick for it.” Yuri nodded and together they stood up, hands clasped tightly together. Everything was perfect, and no matter what happened at this competition, Helsinki would never cease to be one of Yuri’s favorite cities. 

***

Yuri skated to the center of the ice, hand in hand with Victor to his left and Yurio to his right. It had been a close competition, and though each had performed nearly flawlessly, Yuri just barely came out on top. He smiled and waved with his free hand, looking over to Victor who was doing the same. He thought back on his performance, all the Eros he’d put into the short program, and the true completion of his story in the free skate. His competitive career may not be done, but his story on the ice didn’t need anything else added to it. He had learned so much in the past year, overcoming every challenge thrown his way, making new friends and finding love in the most unexpected of places. There were no words to describe the happiness that spilled out of his heart and onto the ice that night as they received their medals. For a moment, Yuri had a flashback of one particular conversation with Victor. “Come on Yuri. This is your dream” He had said. And now, here they were, hand in hand sharing the top two spots at the World Championships, and preparing to get married sometime in the near future. “Maybe there really are happy endings” Yuri thought to himself as they left the ice for the final time that season. He turned to Victor, smiling. “Maybe dreams really do come true.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first multi chapter fic is done. I can't believe it turned out to be so long omg  
> But I hope you all enjoyed it and thank you so so much for reading it to the end, it means a ton!  
> I've already got a few ideas for the next one, but I think I might take a day or two off from writing for now, just to settle into the idea of a new story line and everything.   
> Anyway, if anything, I hope this story can leave you feeling all warm and fuzzy inside <3


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